(no subject)
*sigh* sheesh i hate myself sometimes. i mean all i've got to live for is the fake happiness with the fake smiles and fake laughs i've almost fooled myself with. Yet the more i want to stop faking it have become to natural now it's like i'm used to holding everything inside so its become easy to fake it and yet i beat myself up for it later ever single mother fucking time! and i'm sick and tired of it. I mean is all this pain really worth it i mean really i'm not going to have the life i want and i know it i'm not going to live a normal life.......hell i most likely won't even get married who would want to marry a fucked up mined girl like me *sign* that's all i got to complain about right now