(no subject)
"General Solo, if I may be so bold..."
"Spanner."
"Shouldn't you be attending the briefing..."
"Spanner."
There's a pause as the droid rummages around in the box in front of him, before handing over the requested item, metal piece passing easily from his gold-plated hand to the glove-covered one that's sticking up from the access hatch.
"It was requested that all generals be in attendance."
"They're recording it, I can get the holo later."
"Sir, I hardly think,"
Han pops his head out of the hatch, which prompts a pause and silence from Threepio. "Connector wire. Red. Six gauge." And then drops back down.
"How long of a piece do you require, sir?"
"Enough to bridge..."
There's a long pause, some muffled swearing and calculations.
"If you would tell me what pieces you wish to connect, I can pull up the data on the classification for the ship,"
"It's aftermarket."
"Well then, if I were to scan,"
Dryly: "She doesn't like it when you scan her, at least not without buying her dinner first."
"Sir?"
Han rolls his eyes and anyone who wasn't made of mechanical bits and pieces would likely have heard the movement, given the look on his face as he leans his head against a panel. "Joke, Threepio."
"You wish to hear a joke?" A beat. "I hardly think now is the time for humor."
"It was a joke. You take a woman out, you buy her dinner, maybe a drink or two..."
"Oh."
"Wire, Threepio. Just a couple of feet, I'll make it work."
The droid spools off exactly three feet of the red, six gauge wire, snips it precisely and then leans down to offer the end to the man down in the hatch. "Will this do, sir?"
"Yeah."
The wire disappears and the sounds of hot metal being bonded with a soldering tool and a brief flash of the scent of ozone is in the air. Han idly wonders if droids can smell.
"Humans have such peculiar mating customs."
"...what?"
"Oh, nothing sir. I was just going through my index and I find that humans have one of the most complex set of rituals related to mating and reproduction. Most other species can simply..."
"Simple what?"
"There's a term I'm looking for, one moment sir."
Han tests the connection to one end of the wire, then slides down on his back, moving along the cool grate of the narrow space, the innards of the Falcon just inches from his frame. If he was claustrophobic, this would drive him nuts. Luckily, since he is still breathing, and still able to move, he's not concerned.
"You'll have to speak up if you find it," he calls.
"I believe it is...most other species can simply 'just do it', sir. Or perhaps 'get on with it'," he admits. "I'm not quite updated for the most modern terms, I'm afraid."
There's a sound that filters up, over the quiet, steady din of the ship and the activity in the hangar outside, and it gives the droid reason to pause, curiously peering down into the hatch. "Sir? Are you alright?"
Nothing.
"Sir? General Solo?"
Nothing.
Then:
"Suppose that's one way to put it."
"How else would you put it?"
"I don't know...friends with benefits."
"I don't believe I understand the meaning, sir."
"Think about it a minute."
The droid does.
friend
n.
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.
benefit
n.
1a. Something that promotes or enhances well-being; an advantage: The field trip was of great benefit to the students.
1b. Help; aid.
2. A payment made or an entitlement available in accordance with a wage agreement, an insurance policy, or a public assistance program.
3. A public entertainment, performance, or social event held to raise funds for a person or cause.
4. Archaic. A kindly deed.
"Figure it out yet?"
"I..."
Han finishes up his work and then crawls out of the belly of the ship, resting his arms on the deck of the lounge area, looking up at the droid expectantly.
"One would assume that using the word 'with' implies ownership of some sort."
"Not as binding as some relationships can be."
"The alpha male in any group tends to choose one mate as his female..."
"And if I'm not the alpha male of the species?"
"Sir."
Han grins and hops out of the hatch, then collects his tools and slides the grate closed with his boot. "Friends with benefits."
The droid stares after the man as he walks out of the room, then looks over at the control panel of the Falcon.
"I say, humans are a rather complicated species. They never cease to astound me."
A pause.
"Though, I do apologize if I've offended you."
"Spanner."
"Shouldn't you be attending the briefing..."
"Spanner."
There's a pause as the droid rummages around in the box in front of him, before handing over the requested item, metal piece passing easily from his gold-plated hand to the glove-covered one that's sticking up from the access hatch.
"It was requested that all generals be in attendance."
"They're recording it, I can get the holo later."
"Sir, I hardly think,"
Han pops his head out of the hatch, which prompts a pause and silence from Threepio. "Connector wire. Red. Six gauge." And then drops back down.
"How long of a piece do you require, sir?"
"Enough to bridge..."
There's a long pause, some muffled swearing and calculations.
"If you would tell me what pieces you wish to connect, I can pull up the data on the classification for the ship,"
"It's aftermarket."
"Well then, if I were to scan,"
Dryly: "She doesn't like it when you scan her, at least not without buying her dinner first."
"Sir?"
Han rolls his eyes and anyone who wasn't made of mechanical bits and pieces would likely have heard the movement, given the look on his face as he leans his head against a panel. "Joke, Threepio."
"You wish to hear a joke?" A beat. "I hardly think now is the time for humor."
"It was a joke. You take a woman out, you buy her dinner, maybe a drink or two..."
"Oh."
"Wire, Threepio. Just a couple of feet, I'll make it work."
The droid spools off exactly three feet of the red, six gauge wire, snips it precisely and then leans down to offer the end to the man down in the hatch. "Will this do, sir?"
"Yeah."
The wire disappears and the sounds of hot metal being bonded with a soldering tool and a brief flash of the scent of ozone is in the air. Han idly wonders if droids can smell.
"Humans have such peculiar mating customs."
"...what?"
"Oh, nothing sir. I was just going through my index and I find that humans have one of the most complex set of rituals related to mating and reproduction. Most other species can simply..."
"Simple what?"
"There's a term I'm looking for, one moment sir."
Han tests the connection to one end of the wire, then slides down on his back, moving along the cool grate of the narrow space, the innards of the Falcon just inches from his frame. If he was claustrophobic, this would drive him nuts. Luckily, since he is still breathing, and still able to move, he's not concerned.
"You'll have to speak up if you find it," he calls.
"I believe it is...most other species can simply 'just do it', sir. Or perhaps 'get on with it'," he admits. "I'm not quite updated for the most modern terms, I'm afraid."
There's a sound that filters up, over the quiet, steady din of the ship and the activity in the hangar outside, and it gives the droid reason to pause, curiously peering down into the hatch. "Sir? Are you alright?"
Nothing.
"Sir? General Solo?"
Nothing.
Then:
"Suppose that's one way to put it."
"How else would you put it?"
"I don't know...friends with benefits."
"I don't believe I understand the meaning, sir."
"Think about it a minute."
The droid does.
friend
n.
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.
benefit
n.
1a. Something that promotes or enhances well-being; an advantage: The field trip was of great benefit to the students.
1b. Help; aid.
2. A payment made or an entitlement available in accordance with a wage agreement, an insurance policy, or a public assistance program.
3. A public entertainment, performance, or social event held to raise funds for a person or cause.
4. Archaic. A kindly deed.
"Figure it out yet?"
"I..."
Han finishes up his work and then crawls out of the belly of the ship, resting his arms on the deck of the lounge area, looking up at the droid expectantly.
"One would assume that using the word 'with' implies ownership of some sort."
"Not as binding as some relationships can be."
"The alpha male in any group tends to choose one mate as his female..."
"And if I'm not the alpha male of the species?"
"Sir."
Han grins and hops out of the hatch, then collects his tools and slides the grate closed with his boot. "Friends with benefits."
The droid stares after the man as he walks out of the room, then looks over at the control panel of the Falcon.
"I say, humans are a rather complicated species. They never cease to astound me."
A pause.
"Though, I do apologize if I've offended you."