does it...
get any better?
I feel betrayed by a close friend who owes me money and cut me out of her wedding preparations, which has made me question all my other friendships.
I tried to make a new friend, to find out they are one of the most selfish, attention seeking people going.
I signed up to help a charity that I have found to be corrupt and unworthy, and now I have to make my excuses to get out of a trip.
Someone senior to me at work who relies on me heavily has suddenly turned on me.
My partner is not happy no matter what I sacrifice and how much I bend.
My job is interfered with and I'm made to do menial tasks to help out those who won't do any work, meaning that my work suffers.
My family is in dire straits with money.
One of my sister's isn't even talking to the rest of us because of her lying husband.
I feel like I've lost the connection to myself.
I start each day waking up with an indescribable pain in my chest which lasts all day, I fear being around people, I feel that all of my dreams are being taken away from me one by one, and my beliefs in people are being shattered. Everyone just seems to want to tear me down and destroy another part of me. I feel weak most of the time, I have flashing lights in front of my eyes often, my back and neck are so tense it gives me constant pain, I have headache attacks of the most debilitating, throbbing pain going.
This post is completely about me, and I feel guilty about that. I worry all of the time, I stress about things I can't control, I feel sick a lot of the time from stressing. It all feels like and endless spiral that's just getting more and more constricting.
I look forward to the day I finanlly snap and run off into the sunset laughing maniacally.
I left death behind me a long time ago, I don't want to give up like that anymore, which I suppose is a step forward- but geez louise - how much is one meant to deal with as well as all of the failings in themself that they have to face every day?
I don't have a flash job, I don't have my own place, I've not been on holiday since with my parents, I've not been asked to marry anyone, I don't have a kid to be strong for, I can't drive and don't own a car. And what's more, I don't think I'll ever have any of those things.
I feel damaged, like an electronic device that has been dropped too many times to use for anything good. Just kept in the drawer "in case of emergency" cos I still work, just about.
What's more is, I feel guilty for not being strong enough to handle this, I am fading fast and I don't know how to turn it all around.
This isn't a cry for help, it's a vent - I just don't want to be one of those numb zombies on a load of anti-depressants - and I don't know what else a doctor could do for me.
I feel betrayed by a close friend who owes me money and cut me out of her wedding preparations, which has made me question all my other friendships.
I tried to make a new friend, to find out they are one of the most selfish, attention seeking people going.
I signed up to help a charity that I have found to be corrupt and unworthy, and now I have to make my excuses to get out of a trip.
Someone senior to me at work who relies on me heavily has suddenly turned on me.
My partner is not happy no matter what I sacrifice and how much I bend.
My job is interfered with and I'm made to do menial tasks to help out those who won't do any work, meaning that my work suffers.
My family is in dire straits with money.
One of my sister's isn't even talking to the rest of us because of her lying husband.
I feel like I've lost the connection to myself.
I start each day waking up with an indescribable pain in my chest which lasts all day, I fear being around people, I feel that all of my dreams are being taken away from me one by one, and my beliefs in people are being shattered. Everyone just seems to want to tear me down and destroy another part of me. I feel weak most of the time, I have flashing lights in front of my eyes often, my back and neck are so tense it gives me constant pain, I have headache attacks of the most debilitating, throbbing pain going.
This post is completely about me, and I feel guilty about that. I worry all of the time, I stress about things I can't control, I feel sick a lot of the time from stressing. It all feels like and endless spiral that's just getting more and more constricting.
I look forward to the day I finanlly snap and run off into the sunset laughing maniacally.
I left death behind me a long time ago, I don't want to give up like that anymore, which I suppose is a step forward- but geez louise - how much is one meant to deal with as well as all of the failings in themself that they have to face every day?
I don't have a flash job, I don't have my own place, I've not been on holiday since with my parents, I've not been asked to marry anyone, I don't have a kid to be strong for, I can't drive and don't own a car. And what's more, I don't think I'll ever have any of those things.
I feel damaged, like an electronic device that has been dropped too many times to use for anything good. Just kept in the drawer "in case of emergency" cos I still work, just about.
What's more is, I feel guilty for not being strong enough to handle this, I am fading fast and I don't know how to turn it all around.
This isn't a cry for help, it's a vent - I just don't want to be one of those numb zombies on a load of anti-depressants - and I don't know what else a doctor could do for me.