(no subject)
he left on october 21. he e-mailed on december 23, but i didn't get it till december 27. i replied 5 times: got it perfect the fifth time. he never read the e-mail, but called me on january 1. i deleted the e-mail. i cried on january 1 a lot. we saw each other tonight. it was bad, but now i will move on. i don't know if i can cry anymore. i walked away from him. i said forget it, i don't even want it. i don't want to see you. he said you'll see me. he's a horrible person trying to manipulate me. i will not see him. what is he bringing to my life? only pain, severe pain. what has he ever brought to my life? horrible stuff. i really can't remember being happy. i know that i was because i wouldn't want to be with someone if i was never happy, but the horrible things that happened completely overshadow anything that i could force into the "good" category. i am utterly disgusted with myself for wanting to be with him. i just wish i had the possibility of ignoring the life-altering things he brought.