July Updates: The Fireworks in my Life
Front Page
Top Headlines: Muse saw it shadow and went on vacation 6 weeks of writer’s block and counting
I was just really burnt out after editing “The Whispering Path.” It was 772 pages 6x9 in large font, and 180K words. I didn’t realize that editing was that draining: it took me March to May to get the 3rd edit completed I feel like muse needed a vacation. (It has even taken me several days to write this blog.)
I just feel like I am not professional enough. (I enjoyed the facebook writing groups, but even lately I just feel like I am not professional enough to fit in. I understand that a book is considered a product, but I feel like my book like a project a student does the night before knowing they had six weeks to do it. However I had worked on this book for over two years.)
I am just wondering if my depression is caused my burnt brain or if my burnt brain is caused by my depression.
Health News
I’m really getting sick of my biological clock going nuts. I think there may be only 10 percent of the female population (that I know), that isn’t pregnant or doesn’t have kids. So that means 90 percent are talking about pregnancy and their kids and posting pictures. It feels like a punch in the gut every time they do.
My biological was going so crazy that I was dreaming about babies, kittens and other things that mean “pregnancy” in the dream world.
I took several online depression tests and they all say at least moderate depression. I think my biological clock and hormones are causing my depression. The only thing I enjoy doing right is playing the Sims.
Writing and Arts
- I haven’t written anything in weeks and I feel unproductive. However it him yesterday: if I am not writing, then I should be reading. Tom and I are almost finished with Memnoch the Devil by Anne Rice, and then we are going to start The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger by Stephen King. I’m also reading The Fool’s Journey by Kay Darling.
- I am hoping to be spotlighting on a FB friend’s blog next month.
- I couldn’t get my kindle version to work correctly on facebook, but I was able to post it on smash words. http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/207547
- I’m also getting an interview for my book on another website from a friend I know through experience project.
Local Fun
I been playing Sims 2 on my computer I have many house and over 224 characters in my neighborhood.
Tom and I are reading and we almost finished with Memnoch the Devil by Anne Rice, and then we are going to start The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger by Stephen King. I’m also reading The Fool’s Journey by Kay Darling.
I know I told myself I wouldn’t get into it, but I am currently into the show Supernatural. I also got my younger brothers into the show as well. I am a Dean fan all of the way. They are both very good looking, but Dean just tells it how it is.
Dear Me
Dear Me,
You will have baby when you do, meanwhile, enjoy your own time and sleep. Enjoy reading with Tom, all of the time you write, play Sims. Laugh and have fun.
Life will come, but meanwhile enjoy the adventure you’re on now even if it just hanging out in the apartment. . . enjoy the A/C!
Sincerely
Yourself and I
Laughter is the best medicine
This month’s subject: depression and therapy
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.
*****
In a psychiatrist's waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, "Why are you here?"
The second answers, "I'm Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here."
The first is curious and asks, "How do you know that you're Napoleon?"
The second responds, "God told me I was."
At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, "NO I DIDN'T!"
*****
Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a cat.
How long has this been going on?
Oh, since I was a kitten!
*****
Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world, where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says the treatment is simple. The great clown Terrifini is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up. Man bursts into tears: "But doctor . . . I am Terrifini."
*****
When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the physiatrist began his therapy session, "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning."
"Of course." replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..."
Soap Operas
A friend of ours, his girlfriend just had their baby two months early and she only weight just under 3 pounds. She was healthy at first, then got pneumonia and has some heart problems and now she is doing better. I just hope she gain some weight so she is strong when they take her home.
There is a piece of me that is glad I don’t have a kid with Tom as I don’t have to deal with his mother. (I’ve had dreams that I was pregnant and his mother denied everything, calling me slut and claiming I was cheating on Tom. I have been faithful for 5 years now.) Anyway she is still stuck on her dead granddaughter, I understand we still need to remember the dead, but it’s been almost two years and she still has alive and very cute granddaughter who would like some attention as well. She is pushing her sons away and in the end she is going to be wondering why she is alone.
My brothers’ and I believe my father is moving too fast with his new girlfriend. They have been together only 6 months and they are talking wedding. (She has my name first and middle. . . weird huh?) (Tom and I have been together just under 5 years and we both agree we like it like this, no wedding or marriage. We don’t need vows or a piece of paper to tell anyone we love each other, we just know.)
My brothers have been going to camps all summers and then in August, they get to see their mother. So I probably won’t see them until September.
My mom hasn’t found a job, and I hope she finds one soon. I think she had given up and there is a part of her that doesn’t want one: she wants to play games at the library.
My brother has been falling down more, without alcohol, which really worries me.
My uncle has gotten older and grumpier day by day; even Tom has noticed it. The grumpier he gets, the more he tries to tear down everyone else’s hopes and dreams.
Spiritual Edge
I believe that the dream world can be very spiritual. I believe they are telling things that can’t always admit in the real world.
Some things I have been dreaming about
Puppies
Kittens
Being Pregnant
Holding a baby
Stairs
Hospitals
Schools
Bed
Family fighting
They all basically mean I want to advance or move on. . . subconsciously I am ready for the next level of life. I also want a baby.
http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/
http://www.mythsdreamssymbols.com/
Rebekah’s News © July 2012