fiction post.

[rebecka_jo]

title: deleterious
fandom: the prestige
genre: general/ angst
pairing: robert/ alfred
rating: pg-13
word-count:2,300

summary: alfred remembers digits and diaries.

notes: so. this is quite unexpected. i originally wrote this immediately after my first viewing of what is now one of my favourite films, for immaculate; i've completely re-vamped it (much

Comments

[ltgmars]

Cami? Honestly? This might be my favorite thing I've read from you.

Please, please. Let me gush.

First of all, you know how much I love your first-person writing. There's no ego in it at all -- it's never Cami-as-X or Cami-as-Y, but just the character himself. And in this particular case, I think your first-person portrayal of Alfred is haunting. Chillingly real. Solemn and honest and raw and self-conscious and defeated, and I think it fits the feel of the story and the character really well.

The language is, as always, spot-on. You have a very personal, cerebral kind of writing that I envy. Everything is seen in terms of the person himself, which is brought to the forefront in your first-person writing. Some of my favorite lines:

when I saw him, it took all of my will not to lunge at him on the spot, leech the breath out of his body with my bare hands.

I could never muster that kind of bravado on the spot; I was never a great performer.

perhaps my memory recreates the scene more dimly than it actually was

UNF THIS IS ALL SO WONDERFULLY WRITTEN I HATE YOU.

And I feel like I should mention it precisely because it didn't stand out: you did a fantastic job with the tense switching. It was natural and it made sense without feeling deliberate at all. And you've told me before that you struggle with tenses, but I can't tell at all when I read this.

This is really, truly fantastic. I'm glad you finally finished it and showed it to the world, because it needed to be seen.

And yeah. I think Joe would be proud. :)

blaaaaaaaaah TL;DR life crisis time now

[rebecka_jo]

please see my PM :3 whenever you feel like reading 5 pages or my incoherent needy rambling.