What Is Love (5/?)
Title: What Is Love
Author: rebeccs13
Pairing: Eventual Alex/Jack, Jack/multiple, Zack/Matt.
Rating: pg-13 at the moment, possibly R at the very beginning.
Warning: poverty, mentions of sex, very rare mentions of self-harm.
Summary: Alex has a hard life. He has a very hard life. He has no family and friends to fall back on and lives in a one room apartment, his job at a local Cafe only just paying the rent. The first time Alex and Jack have sex they barely know each other. Alex is eighteen and Jack is twenty two. They think they'll never see each other again. Think.
Author Notes: This story is really fighting with me and I'm honestly not happy with the way it's turning out. I have no motivation to continue it and I'm considering giving up now.
Disclaimer: Don't own the boys, just the plot.
Masterpost
Matt and Zack watch from the car as Alex walks away.
“I see what you mean.” Zack murmurs. “Kid looks like he’s got nothing left in him. It’s a shame.”
Just then it throws it down and Matt watches as Alex stops walking, his whole body slumps and he looks up at the sky.
“Can you drive him home?”
“Course.”
Zack drives forwards a little and Matt rolls down his window.
“Alex!” Alex looks over. “Come on, we can give you a lift home.”
Alex shakes his head.
“It’s okay, I’ll walk.”
Matt looks at Zack with confusion, Zack looks back with just as much.
“Are you serious? It’s chucking it down, get in!”
Alex shakes his head.
“No, I’ll walk.”
“Al-“
“I said I’ll walk.” Alex snaps.
He really should stop snapping at Matt.
Matt frowns.
“Fine.” Matt retorts.
He rolls up the window and tells Zack to drive. Zack gets worried when Matt stares out the window the whole way. Matt usually fills Zack in on every second of his day.
“Matt?”
Matt sighs.
“I want to help him.” Matt whispers, wringing his hands together in his lap so hard his fingers crack.
Zack lays a hand on his thigh.
“I know you do baby but you can’t help him unless he opens up to you and he won’t do that unless he trusts you. You only met him today. Give him some time. Just prove to him that you can be a good friend and that you can be trusted and it’ll all work out.”
Matt sighs. He looks over at Zack. How did he get so lucky? Zack’s the best.
“Can we go to yours?” He murmurs, voice taking on that quiet tone it always does when he gets nervous. Zack doesn’t know why Matt gets nervous anymore.
“Of course.” They arrive at Zack’s house and Zack unlocks the door. “Jack?!” Zack yells. The skunk haired boy appears at the top of the stairs.
“Sup bitches.”
Matt rolls his eyes. Jack is a dick.
“Are you going out?” Zack asks.
“Why? Ohh… Zacky wanna get laid?”
Matt looks down at the ground and Zack wraps an arm protectively around his boyfriend’s waist.
“Believe it or not Jack I don’t base my relationship on sex.”
“Whatever. I’m going out; have fun watching a film or whatever it is you do instead of sex.”
The door shuts behind Jack and Matt sighs, dropping down on the sofa.
“I fucking hate your roommate.”
“I know.”
“Why are you friends with him?”
“Because he needs someone to stop him fucking his life up completely… Anyway, forget Jack, we have a night to ourselves.”
Zack crawls over the sofa towards Matt and kisses him, licking into his mouth. Matt’s elbows give and Zack wraps an arm around him, lowering him down so he’s lying flat. They kiss slow and sweet, it’s good, it’s what Matt likes.
Matt pulls back and bites his lip, eyebrows furrowing.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Zack asks quietly.
“I um…” Matt hesitates, wondering if he should tell Zack or not. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Matt mumbles.
Zack sits up and I totally just killed the mood is the first thought running through Matt’s head.
“Why?” Zack asks; he and Matt are open and honest with each other so it confuses him as to why Matt is worried now.
“I just…” Matt runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “Does it not bother you that we’ve been together ten months and haven’t had sex? I-I’m nineteen and you’re twenty and it just seems like we should have. I mean most people do it after like 3 months.”
Matt blushes and looks down, biting his lip ring.
“Baby, there’s nothing wrong with taking it slow.”
Matt clenches his jaw and squeezes his eyes shut.
“Yeah but even when people take it slow that means sex at six months.”
“Matt, why are you always so worried about this? If you’re not ready then you’re not.”
“Because there’s only so long a twenty year old can wait for sex.”
Zack gets it then.
“Baby…” He sighs. “I’m not gonna leave you.” Matt bites his lip again and Zack knows there’s something else on his mind. “Come on, out with it.”
“I-I’m worried about Alex.”
“I knew it.”
*~*~*~*~*
The walk home that night seems longer than usual, probably because of the fact it’s pissing it down and Alex is soaked to the bone. He pauses when he passes a coffee shop. It looks warm and glows with light, it’s inviting and Alex can see a group of teenagers sat around a table to escape the rain. It makes Alex want to sit on the pavement and cry because he never had a childhood like theirs.
It’s when he’s walking past a bar when someone stumbles out and straight into him, Alex manages to keep his balance but when he looks up he wants to run away.
Jack is standing in front of him, a smirk on his face and he’s holding hands with a rather tall boy with brown hair and tattoos across his collar bones. Alex swallows hard and looks at the ground.
“Hello Alex.” Alex can hear the smirk in Jack’s voice.
He doesn’t know why his vision is suddenly blurry and there’s a lump in his throat, he doesn’t know why he wants to cry and he doesn’t know why seeing Jack hurts him so much.
“H-hi.”
“Friend of yours?” The stranger asks, looking down at Alex.
Alex realizes he must look atrocious right now, he’s soaked to the bone and he looks pretty pathetic.
“More of an acquaintance.” Jack murmurs, right in the man’s ear.
Alex swallows hard and stares at his converse. He's wearing his pair that have a hole in the side. He feels like crap right now. Running into Jack is the last thing he wanted. He’s feeling like he’s almost hit rock bottom so seeing a living reminder of one of the reasons why just makes him hurt. Alex is always hurting.
“Ah.” The stranger says.
“You didn’t text me back.” Jack says, mouth tugged up at the corner.
Alex shakes his head and tugs at the strings of his hoodie.
“I-I know.”
“Why not?”
Alex shrugs, gaze firmly fixed on a puddle as the raindrops splash into it. “I have to go.” Alex chokes out.
“Okay.” Jack murmurs smoothly. “See you round Alex.”
Alex manages to keep his composure as he watches Jack and the stranger climb into a car but as soon as they’ve drove out of sight Alex slides down the wall of the bar Jack came out of, sits in the mud and cries as the rain pours down around him.