i choose my company by the beating of their hearts

[rebeccapaige]

i will never be able to fully accept reality and realize youre truely gone.
i miss you paul.

last night was his second annual memorial game and i completely forgot..........................
i cried in jasons car the entire ride home. i cant believe i forgot.
i never ever would have if everyone was still at school
i have to keep rechecking my schedule to keep myself on track, i cant live like im on summer break like they are.

for now my terms of "copeing" is letting out a good cry here and there and moving on until the next time, however i know deep down its not copeing.. its supressing emotions that will never be healed so why deal with them

i miss you so much paul. so much.