(no subject)
I really just need someone to talk to...and I guess instead of bother people with a sob story I figured I can vent by writing about it. At this point I really have no clue what direction my life is going in. College yeah...I know what I'm going to major in...I have an idea of what I'm doing after college pretty much. Honestly the only thing I don't like about my life right now is how I'm so heartbroken. I mean I guess it's a natural feeling...but why?! I honestly have felt this way for 4 years now. Being hopelessly in love with this one guy...who will never reciprocate the feelings...it's rough. And it seems like everything in life just points out the fact of how pathetic it is...or builds my hopes up and just kicks me in the ass. Like last night...I had this awesome dream...obviously about this boy. And basically all the dream consisted of was him holding my hand as we walked together and he kissed me. And the sad thing is....is that dream really made me happy. Is that a sick thing? I don't even know anymore. I mean I'm not really obsessing over him...or waiting for him because I am interested in other people but it's never really the same with them...I don't even know if that makes sense. Whatever this whole thing has gotten me really under the weather. I just don't feel like myself anymore...