Oscars Weekend 2018: Worst Oscars Ever?
Our mom came for a visit last weekend to watch the Oscars with us. I hadn't been looking forward to it, and even by Mom's standards, it did not go well. The very worst part of it happened as soon as she got into town. We were going out for dinner, and almost the second she got into my car, she put her hand right down on the dried flower that I pulled out of Grandma's funeral bouquet and ground it into bits. It took her long enough that I think she had to realize that she was destroying it. I knocked her hand away, but I didn't do it soon enough.
That flower had been sitting on my dashboard since the day we buried Grandma. It had been there for six years, through four states, and probably would have been there a lot longer, if Mom hadn't gotten her stupid hands on it. As if she didn't treat Grandma badly enough in life. She couldn't even give that woman the time of day when she was alive. Mom could've packed her bags and gone straight back home right then, and I wouldn't have missed her. I hope I don't have to see her again until Thanksgiving. I am still so upset about it just typing this. For six goddamn years I kept that flower safe, and now it's practically dust.
That was the worst part of it, but the rest of the weekend wasn't much fun, either. I had to do all the driving. Mom decided to "pass" on the Chinese Lanterns festival after saying that she would go with us. Broken Promise Number 28,973. Her word means nothing to this woman - nothing. (That was when I decided to mention that Uncle George and Uncle Steve flew into TX for Aunt Vickie's birthday last month, which I knew she wouldn't appreciate hearing.) We didn't do anything but eat out, at a Mexican place (Friday night), a cafeteria that I don't think anybody liked (Saturday), and a deli (Sunday). She glared at me when I licked my finger in the deli at one point, so you can bet that after that, I looked right at her and licked all my fingers, slowly and obnoxiously.
My hair is still super uneven from letting my sister cut it a few months ago (you can't tell when I bun it, and she cut it too short anyway, so I haven't bothered to get it fixed yet). I thought Mom might find it funny, so at one point, I let my hair down and tried to show her. As usual, when I said, "Mom, look," she turned her face away and looked everywhere but at me. This has happened to me so many times, ever since I was a little kid, that I'm still furious with myself for expecting that she would actually look at anything I wanted to show her. I should've known better. I should've known she wouldn't care. I don't hate Mom as much as I hate myself for this.
The whole debaucle got me so stressed that my IBS started acting up - ugh! Fortunately, I took some pills and got it under control, which was good because we had a lot of eating planned for the Oscars (which we watched in Mom's hotel room). Sara and I made brownies and cheese dip, and Mom made spinach salad and rice dressing. Conversation while making it: "Mmm, smell that cheese dip, doesn't it smell good?" Sara: "All I can smell is the cheese of this song!" (I laughed so hard at that. We were listening to "Do You Like Pina Coladas?" at the time.)
The Oscars show itself wasn't the most memorable. The only movies I've seen so far this year were Lady-Bird and The Florida Project; I really enjoyed them both and thought The Florida Project should've gotten more nominations. A few random notes about the broadcast: I really enjoyed the performances of "Mighty River" and "This Is Me." (Although my sister was very embarrassed when Keala Settle started crying during it. Me: "Well, maybe she's doing it on purpose.") Jennifer Lawrence and Jodie Foster's bit about Meryl Streep made me laugh. Gal Gadot was freakin' adorable, Saoirse Ronan's dress was boring, and Frances McDormand's acceptance speech was scary. Mom pronounced Saoirse's name phonetically at one point, and I had no clue who she meant.
I took the Monday after the Oscars off from work for a long dentist appointment. My temporary crown is none too comfortable (and I hate that I'm stuck with it for two weeks), but I ended up not needing the second crown or the root canal, so I guess it could be worse. After that, I went on a long bike ride, and the weather was so perfect for it: cool and sunny. I sat on the bridge over the Interstate watching the cars fly by under me.
That flower had been sitting on my dashboard since the day we buried Grandma. It had been there for six years, through four states, and probably would have been there a lot longer, if Mom hadn't gotten her stupid hands on it. As if she didn't treat Grandma badly enough in life. She couldn't even give that woman the time of day when she was alive. Mom could've packed her bags and gone straight back home right then, and I wouldn't have missed her. I hope I don't have to see her again until Thanksgiving. I am still so upset about it just typing this. For six goddamn years I kept that flower safe, and now it's practically dust.
That was the worst part of it, but the rest of the weekend wasn't much fun, either. I had to do all the driving. Mom decided to "pass" on the Chinese Lanterns festival after saying that she would go with us. Broken Promise Number 28,973. Her word means nothing to this woman - nothing. (That was when I decided to mention that Uncle George and Uncle Steve flew into TX for Aunt Vickie's birthday last month, which I knew she wouldn't appreciate hearing.) We didn't do anything but eat out, at a Mexican place (Friday night), a cafeteria that I don't think anybody liked (Saturday), and a deli (Sunday). She glared at me when I licked my finger in the deli at one point, so you can bet that after that, I looked right at her and licked all my fingers, slowly and obnoxiously.
My hair is still super uneven from letting my sister cut it a few months ago (you can't tell when I bun it, and she cut it too short anyway, so I haven't bothered to get it fixed yet). I thought Mom might find it funny, so at one point, I let my hair down and tried to show her. As usual, when I said, "Mom, look," she turned her face away and looked everywhere but at me. This has happened to me so many times, ever since I was a little kid, that I'm still furious with myself for expecting that she would actually look at anything I wanted to show her. I should've known better. I should've known she wouldn't care. I don't hate Mom as much as I hate myself for this.
The whole debaucle got me so stressed that my IBS started acting up - ugh! Fortunately, I took some pills and got it under control, which was good because we had a lot of eating planned for the Oscars (which we watched in Mom's hotel room). Sara and I made brownies and cheese dip, and Mom made spinach salad and rice dressing. Conversation while making it: "Mmm, smell that cheese dip, doesn't it smell good?" Sara: "All I can smell is the cheese of this song!" (I laughed so hard at that. We were listening to "Do You Like Pina Coladas?" at the time.)
The Oscars show itself wasn't the most memorable. The only movies I've seen so far this year were Lady-Bird and The Florida Project; I really enjoyed them both and thought The Florida Project should've gotten more nominations. A few random notes about the broadcast: I really enjoyed the performances of "Mighty River" and "This Is Me." (Although my sister was very embarrassed when Keala Settle started crying during it. Me: "Well, maybe she's doing it on purpose.") Jennifer Lawrence and Jodie Foster's bit about Meryl Streep made me laugh. Gal Gadot was freakin' adorable, Saoirse Ronan's dress was boring, and Frances McDormand's acceptance speech was scary. Mom pronounced Saoirse's name phonetically at one point, and I had no clue who she meant.
I took the Monday after the Oscars off from work for a long dentist appointment. My temporary crown is none too comfortable (and I hate that I'm stuck with it for two weeks), but I ended up not needing the second crown or the root canal, so I guess it could be worse. After that, I went on a long bike ride, and the weather was so perfect for it: cool and sunny. I sat on the bridge over the Interstate watching the cars fly by under me.