Shall our sins be forgiven? Shall our crimes be reprieved?
I've decided that a good way to add more oomph to days off from work is to watch a child-actress movie that I've been wanting to see. For the 4th of July weekend, I rented Annie. It's now Labor Day weekend, and I checked out The Trouble With Angels from the library. We used to have it on our store's movie stand back when I worked retail (although I never understood why; I don't think anyone ever bought it) and I always curious to see it, although oh my goodness, did it have some stupid '60s moments.
Back when we were all working so much overtime, I jokingly said to Boss-Man, "When this job is finally finished, you should throw a party." I didn't really expect him to do it (of course, I never really expected we'd actually finish that job, either!) but he said that he would, and last week, he finally made good on that. We all met for a dinner at a pizza place with a huge arcade/game center attached. Unfortunately, the food was kinda nasty, but we did all have fun. There was a go-cart track, mini-bowling, skeeball, basketball games, and pool tables. I wound up playing pool with Boss-Lady, who was very good at it. She can be kinda absent-minded sometimes, and I was amazed by how focused she was at pool. She kept sinking ball after ball after ball! I'd never played pool before, but she gave me some pointers.
Fall always means that the High Holidays are approaching. I went to a Selichot service at the temple late last night, and it did not play around. We prayed and sang and prayed and sang some more until I'd had just about all I could take! I'm thinking of it as my Yom Kippur service, since I probably won't go to any of the services on actual Yom Kippur Day (for various reasons) and I'll be in Colorado during Rosh Hashanah. Anyway, the Selichot service also had snacks and discussion. It really hit home this year. We talked about a lot of heavy stuff. When, if ever, should you forgive people who haven't apologized? Is it harder to admit that you were wrong, or harder to forgive someone who's hurt you? How do you know when people deserve forgiveness, vs. when are they just trying to take advantage of you? The topic of family dysfunction/estrangement came up a few times, which was really too close for comfort. Ever since then, I've been trying to figure out, should I apologize to Mom for doing to her exactly what she did to her mother? Is it fair to ask her why she put so much effort into teaching hurtful behavior to me by example, if she didn't want me to replicate it? But I've always wanted Mom's bad habits to end with me, so why am I so hell-bent keeping this one alive?
Javert jumped off the bridge at the end of Les Miserables because he couldn't figure out that fine line between justice and mercy, and it just ate him up. Let's hope it doesn't come to that for me. Oy.
One good thing did come of it: during the discussion session, I finished work on my first plarn kippah! It's in white (the whitest shade of Wal-Mart bags I could find) and yellow (Dollar General), the traditional colors of the High Holidays, and I sold it on the spot to a lady in the group, who's giving it to her son, the temple's shoffar-blower. I also started work on my first plarn cell-phone holder (I wanted something quick and easy) and though I haven't finished it yet, I think it will turn out well. Athena says she is saving a cabinet full of plastic bags for me!!!!
Back when we were all working so much overtime, I jokingly said to Boss-Man, "When this job is finally finished, you should throw a party." I didn't really expect him to do it (of course, I never really expected we'd actually finish that job, either!) but he said that he would, and last week, he finally made good on that. We all met for a dinner at a pizza place with a huge arcade/game center attached. Unfortunately, the food was kinda nasty, but we did all have fun. There was a go-cart track, mini-bowling, skeeball, basketball games, and pool tables. I wound up playing pool with Boss-Lady, who was very good at it. She can be kinda absent-minded sometimes, and I was amazed by how focused she was at pool. She kept sinking ball after ball after ball! I'd never played pool before, but she gave me some pointers.
Fall always means that the High Holidays are approaching. I went to a Selichot service at the temple late last night, and it did not play around. We prayed and sang and prayed and sang some more until I'd had just about all I could take! I'm thinking of it as my Yom Kippur service, since I probably won't go to any of the services on actual Yom Kippur Day (for various reasons) and I'll be in Colorado during Rosh Hashanah. Anyway, the Selichot service also had snacks and discussion. It really hit home this year. We talked about a lot of heavy stuff. When, if ever, should you forgive people who haven't apologized? Is it harder to admit that you were wrong, or harder to forgive someone who's hurt you? How do you know when people deserve forgiveness, vs. when are they just trying to take advantage of you? The topic of family dysfunction/estrangement came up a few times, which was really too close for comfort. Ever since then, I've been trying to figure out, should I apologize to Mom for doing to her exactly what she did to her mother? Is it fair to ask her why she put so much effort into teaching hurtful behavior to me by example, if she didn't want me to replicate it? But I've always wanted Mom's bad habits to end with me, so why am I so hell-bent keeping this one alive?
Javert jumped off the bridge at the end of Les Miserables because he couldn't figure out that fine line between justice and mercy, and it just ate him up. Let's hope it doesn't come to that for me. Oy.
One good thing did come of it: during the discussion session, I finished work on my first plarn kippah! It's in white (the whitest shade of Wal-Mart bags I could find) and yellow (Dollar General), the traditional colors of the High Holidays, and I sold it on the spot to a lady in the group, who's giving it to her son, the temple's shoffar-blower. I also started work on my first plarn cell-phone holder (I wanted something quick and easy) and though I haven't finished it yet, I think it will turn out well. Athena says she is saving a cabinet full of plastic bags for me!!!!