(no subject)
There's no pretty way to start this, as I'm confused as I have ever been. I'm beginning to believe every person is as confused as I am about their lives; they either learn to opress it and adopt a routine such as a career, or they end up being miserable. And being miserable has a lot more options as far as the outcome of their lives. That could also be a comfort theory I developed for myself. Either way I'm stuck with the same dilemma: I cant find my audience.
I'm still really suprised my parents are going to pick up their lives in California and move to Europe. I have no family here aside from my parents, although to be perfectly honest I don't have family any where but in Germany. I'm wondering what I'm going to do if something happens to Zepeda and I, where am I going to go? Where can I go? I don't have a network of friends so who's going to bail me out of all the trouble I get myself into? I hope my dad misses me when he leaves.
What am I doing here? I have a pleasant life that's really low key and nice but it's not the life I've spent insomnious nights dreaming about and planning. The same song is in my head every day, so it seems. Right now I'm playing "Get Free," by The Vines. So fucking appropriate; that's what I love about music. It's all part of that comfort theory.
Get out of my heart and stay out of my mind; I don't sit well with any of this. realize that.
I'm still really suprised my parents are going to pick up their lives in California and move to Europe. I have no family here aside from my parents, although to be perfectly honest I don't have family any where but in Germany. I'm wondering what I'm going to do if something happens to Zepeda and I, where am I going to go? Where can I go? I don't have a network of friends so who's going to bail me out of all the trouble I get myself into? I hope my dad misses me when he leaves.
What am I doing here? I have a pleasant life that's really low key and nice but it's not the life I've spent insomnious nights dreaming about and planning. The same song is in my head every day, so it seems. Right now I'm playing "Get Free," by The Vines. So fucking appropriate; that's what I love about music. It's all part of that comfort theory.
Get out of my heart and stay out of my mind; I don't sit well with any of this. realize that.