finding yourself at the bottom and the only way to go is up....
Yesterday was a hard day...do you ever have days when you feel you have become completely covered in sin? Well yesterday was my day...I woke up too late to go to church and I felt spiritually starved (not just for missing church...but of months, and months of feeling the gap between God and myself)...if you've felt it...you know what I mean...if you haven't, you think I'm crazy and that's okay. Anyway, so I got up and found the sermon series we did on Psalms 23 and popped in the one on God meeting our Emotional needs...and Wow...I had heard the sermon in church, but sitting in my room, I felt the sermon...God met me exactly where I was even though I wasn't sitting in church...but sitting to a past recording of one of chips sermons...I cryed...I cryed out.. I started feeling a little better. Then Sunday afternoon, I went to JoAnn's we hung out and watched some Basketball...and then she started asking me some random questions because she knew I was feeling a spiritual lull yesterday...I ended up sharing with her pretty much my entire life's story...things I've never shared with anyone, because she truelly desires to know what it is I've gone through to arrive to where I am (part of her enjoyment of counciling). And in talking through my story, I see the sin that traps me today as it has been spurred by events that have taken place in my childhood...
Anyway...Yesterday morning I awoke with my heart being the heaviest it's been in probably over a year...and by the end of the day, my heart was lighter than it's been in a very long time. We serve a great God, and it amazes me that no matter how far I run when I'm living smothered in my own sin...he always pulls me back, and I am very thankful that my relationship with Him is so close that I know exactly what it is when He call's me back. Like a kid on one of those bungie leashes....he lets me go...but He never lets me go too far before pulling back to Him. That's awesome. It's just...wow...yeah...wow.
Anyway...Yesterday morning I awoke with my heart being the heaviest it's been in probably over a year...and by the end of the day, my heart was lighter than it's been in a very long time. We serve a great God, and it amazes me that no matter how far I run when I'm living smothered in my own sin...he always pulls me back, and I am very thankful that my relationship with Him is so close that I know exactly what it is when He call's me back. Like a kid on one of those bungie leashes....he lets me go...but He never lets me go too far before pulling back to Him. That's awesome. It's just...wow...yeah...wow.