(no subject)
There was a time in my life where I thought anything was possible. The sky was the limit, and absolutely nothing could restrain me--then I turned 10. Things just don't have the same innocence they used to possess. I guess there comes a time in everybodys life where they realized exactly WHAT they are capable of, and usually they aren't so pleased with it. In my more recent years, I've come to accept the fact that I am not as smart as I wish I was, I'm not as well-liked as I wish I was, and I'm not put together as well as I wish I were. I believe maturity is coming to grips with who you are, and I don't think I have this yet. Does that make me immature? I don't want to accept who I am, because I'm not satisfied with it but this doesn't mean that I haven't come to terms with it. Change is all an idea of perception, and my perception is highly misconstrued. I feel like I'm trapped within myself and everytime I commit another failure another door is locked and the key is thrown away. You only need to tell people they're a failure so many times before they start to believe it. I once read that "desires are our downfall" and in many instances this is correct. Would we not be satisfied with the neccessities if we didn't know what else existed out there? Why is it human nature to always want more? But desires are also what keeps us going. Would I get up every morning and go to school if I didn't know someday I would get out of here and be something?! It's a double-edged sword. In one aspect if you want to much, you could fail and dissapoint yourself once again, and on the other side if you excell you'll just want more and at some point meet your match. I guess it's all in measuring the risk. I don't know...I'm not really sure exactly what I'm saying here. All I know is I feel a hunger for the world and don't know how to satisfy it. Pece and love <3.