How to change?
Ok, so I haven't posted in a L O N G time, because I've been busy or lazy - not sure which. :) I've been focusing on my health and moving more in my life - so that basically translates to even less home computer time.
I've been elected chair of my company's Wellness Team - which I took as a great honor, but I'm worried as I am still a little more round than I like, that people will think that the committee is a joke and make fun of me.
My first round of action? Not doing everything on this damn team - like I end up doing with everything else in my life. I'm actually thinking of seeing a shrink to help me figure this out and how to stop the cycle. If I'm doing everything, I'm enabling others to do nothing.
Bad things? I don't want to be a bitchy team lead, always having to harp on people to get things done.
I don't trust people to do what they say they will do.
I'm the team lead and if this fails - I fail.
I'm a little stressed out about this.
Another thing? I want more money!!! Who doesn't? I get so frustrated to see people, who browse the internet all day, get promoted over me. WTF? I want to get out of debt. I want to move out of my parents house. I want to live by myself! What's stopping me? Can't afford it by myself. My dad would FREAK out. Possibly bad thing - my sister might move in with me - the person I see myself enabling more often than not to neglect house chores. Instead of making her mad and asking her to change - I just leave it be. This is driving me INSANE. Will this change if we move? I don't know - but I have no idea how to talk to her without ending up the bad guy?
I've lived with her my whole life and instead of dealing with issues - we ignore them and left them fester. This makes me feel horrible - to feel better? I spend money. I buy gifts. I buy things I don't need. I need to change.
I internalize everything. I just keep absorbing the bad and never let it out in a fashion that solves anything.
I've been elected chair of my company's Wellness Team - which I took as a great honor, but I'm worried as I am still a little more round than I like, that people will think that the committee is a joke and make fun of me.
My first round of action? Not doing everything on this damn team - like I end up doing with everything else in my life. I'm actually thinking of seeing a shrink to help me figure this out and how to stop the cycle. If I'm doing everything, I'm enabling others to do nothing.
Bad things? I don't want to be a bitchy team lead, always having to harp on people to get things done.
I don't trust people to do what they say they will do.
I'm the team lead and if this fails - I fail.
I'm a little stressed out about this.
Another thing? I want more money!!! Who doesn't? I get so frustrated to see people, who browse the internet all day, get promoted over me. WTF? I want to get out of debt. I want to move out of my parents house. I want to live by myself! What's stopping me? Can't afford it by myself. My dad would FREAK out. Possibly bad thing - my sister might move in with me - the person I see myself enabling more often than not to neglect house chores. Instead of making her mad and asking her to change - I just leave it be. This is driving me INSANE. Will this change if we move? I don't know - but I have no idea how to talk to her without ending up the bad guy?
I've lived with her my whole life and instead of dealing with issues - we ignore them and left them fester. This makes me feel horrible - to feel better? I spend money. I buy gifts. I buy things I don't need. I need to change.
I internalize everything. I just keep absorbing the bad and never let it out in a fashion that solves anything.