So much for consistancy and updates
Do you feel the weight of the world singing sorrow..?
I feel like updating this because I have nothing better to do with my time and I am awaiting a few phone calls and allowing my sick-feeling stomach time to feel better before I go out tonight.
Overall, work has been the cause of my lack of updates. I am either at work, or exhausted from work and trying to have some time to do anything else, or sleep. While the idea of waking up at 6 o'clock every day over my summer vacation and working long days doing hard work may sound unappealing, I actually have found that I love my job. I loved it last summer too, but the changes this year have really made going to work... fun? Okay, so it hasn't always been too great, and it even started out causing me severe panic attacks and made my anxiety a million times worse. After a few weeks, though, I have found that I actually look forward to work and being with the people that I work with. I have met some really great people this summer, and now that this job is almost over, I find myself pretty upset and dreading the end of the summer even more. This emotional roller coaster has been easier to deal with when I have a distraction like work, but once its over I'm afraid I'm going to dwell on it even more than I do now, and I don't want to handle that. For a few weeks now I have been pushing off the really bad feelings and holding them off and pulling myself out of the real world, in a way, and I'm starting to get scared of what will happen when i let it all in.
Anyway, the past few weeks haven't been too exciting, and its a little sad that more excitement takes place at my job then in my home life. Well, its not too bad considering I am usually too exhausted to do too many fun things. There has been a lot of drama at work over the weeks and its pretty entertaining and even sometimes frustrating when someone gets me involved. But at least it is entertaining. We have decided to have a work party before everyone goes back to school, which is basically going to be like 12 of us hanging out and eating pizza and Jacque's. (I'd say Me, Nikki, Jacque, Mark, Brian, Natalie, Bryan, George, Ben, Gorman, Pat, and we're not sure about Erin.) We're not inviting everyone, but just the core group of us. Its kind of cool how close we all got this summer, and i hate when things like that have to end. We have so much fun all day. Its nice to have a place that I feel like people want me around, rather than anywhere else I go lately where I feel so unwanted.
Most importantly: I went to Minnesota, where it is nothing but perfect. I can't really say much about it because there would be too much and too little to say, but it was such an amazing trip...but it always is. Duluth was more fun this year than ever before, with 'Grandmas' having 4 dollar pitchers of the best drinks ever that my brother and Tobin bought for me and Andy. Then playing Mini Golf at Trillz was sweet and I actuallyIt was great having Uncle Mike and Aunt Jan back this year because its just not the same without them, including Andy and Mikey. I did miss Matt alot. It was weird not having him up there. Lets see... I didn't find a moose or see a bear but I did run into some bear tracks and we accidentally came across an Indian Burial ground in Nett Lake which was super creepy. We walked alot, we went canoeing allll the way to Saunders Bay and let me tell you... that is not a close trip. About 4 miles all around, my arms were killing but it was really nice.Overall it was a pretty perfect trip and i was so sad to leave there.. what feels like my home. I love my family so much.
Umm so other updates... the only thing that sticks out in my head right now is Saturday when i went to warped tour. I was surprised with how much I enjoyed it this year. I went with Ian, and for weeks I have almost been dreading it because I just didn't feel like it was much of my thing any more, and I'm still not sure it is, but nontheless, i did have a lot of fun. Mostly because I got to meet Bryce Avary...if only words hadn't escaped me. We ran around and saw 16 bands that day. Here is a list: Drop Dead Gorgeous, The Starting Line, Cute is What we Aim For, Straylight Run, Hot Rod Circuit, THE ROCKET SUMMER, Paramore, Coheed and Cambria, Cinematic Sunrise, Bayside, Bad Religion, The Matches, A Static Lullaby, Red Jumpsuit Aparatus, and Underoath. Overall it was an exhausting, but fun, day.
Oh, I saw the new much anticipated Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix. Oh and I pretty much loved it, even though they left out about a million things. I just can't dislike Harry Potter though. Which reminds me also that I read the new book in 4 days. It was...simply put...the most amazing book ever. I loved it and I'm still terribly sad that the series is over because they were and still are my favorites. Wow, I'm pretty much a huge geek now. It's pretty sweet. I also bought the new Rocket Summer CD and I have no listened to anything else since. I am re-obsessed with them because they are the best thing in the world and make me happy even when everything else i feel pretty much sucks.
So with the little bit of extra time let me talk about my week and the things that have happened that will not interest any of you. Ian has pretty much been working most of this week and now he is in Ohio so nothing really going on there. Monday I was having a lot of fun at work, despite working under Les and being terrified that he'll be flipping out any second on anyone. What an asshole. Sylwia definitiely likes me now, which is a huge transformation from the beginning of the summer when she made me go home crying. Kolmar was one of my favorite times of work though, because I got to work with the best people and we had nap time every day on the big comfy mats during break. Tuesday came, and after begginggg Mark to work late with me, I ended up getting moved to Covington which was both a good and bad thing. Its been better working with Armando and Frank and Phil and Jacque and George, but i was the only one moved and I have seriously missed everyone at Kolmar. It kind of killed Wednesday adn Thursday. Both of those days I worked late with Jacque though, which was cool.
Yesterday Nikki came over which made things much better. Today was kind of nice though because I didn't get my check so I got to go to Hannum to see if they had it and I got to hang out with them for a whille and begin the fight to get mark to work with me and Sylwia but Kathy seriously would not give him up and I was pissed. We really need him and she has like 7 people in one room. Gayyy. So i didn't get my check either because assholeLes forgot to turn in my time sheet last time so now I don't get a check for another two weeks. Interesting thing about work this week, 3 people have left to go to the hospital. On monday, I guess Armando [poor armando :-( ] had some heart panic serious attack adn had to go, wednesday maria left for severe chest pains, and today we heard that Bruce fall over something and cracked his head open. Crazy things. I sure am going to miss the fights and the drama and the "love" interests and awkwardness adn weird conversations and the flipping out and the secrets and the laughing until i cry when this is all over.
Thats enough of my rambling for now