(no subject)
i am such an odd creature. i do not know why i am this way, staying up till i can no longer walk straight. perhaps in some sick and twizted way im punishing myself for things i can do nothing about. either way i hate this putrid existence sometime. but alas i am tired, rambling on and on with my sweet ramblings oblivious to the true cause of my misery, my lack of food water and sleep. if only i had more of that then maybe i would be more ready for the drama that is my life. as much as i avoid it, it always loves to follow me where and when ever i try to leave. ah but i do in some ways crave its sinister sweetness, that delicate blend of misery and joy. how i long to be alone, how i lust to be with someone. god i am such a contradition, i often find myself staring at myself from way back in my mind thinking, "what the hell am i doing." i do not know this. i really have only begun to understand the meaning that has been put to my life, i only barely acknowlege my destiny. maiden so fare and the shining black armored knight, seeming to glow in the sunlight. and then there is me the horseless dull armored dull complestioned knight willing, wishing to fight for this young maiden. but how is a man with a sword supposed to take down a knight on horse back, it is such an unlikely situation, how is a man with no gleam or shine to win that fare ladies heart. i think too much into it i guess what ever happens will happen. i trust the fates wont deal me those rotten cards i have been delt in the past. please fates, spin me a path to which i can atain the approval i seek. let me find it soon, i fear my sanity is waving these past few days, as i fall farther and farther this tree that is my mind. my branches have snapped and i am being maimed by every person i have ever been. but i guess that is how it goes. you stay too long on one branch and it will break under your weight. ah well the night air is leaving, replaced by the call of morning birds and cars. so i must bid you all a fond fare well and a peaceful good night.