Female Chauvinist Movie Review: Jupiter Ascending
Man Candy: 4 Mostly Channing but there is an excruciatingly pretty bad guy and two gratuitous shirtless scenes.
Hurt-the-pretty: 4
Feminismishness: 4
Dizzying action sequences: -3
Gorgeous space opera fun: +100
My thumbs, at least, are way up.
First off let me say that Channing Tatum is NOT his hottest in this film. I don't think the hair color worked for him, and neither did the elf-ears. Also he spends entirely too much time wearing a shirt.
Not that I minded much. Muscular, strong men who are submissive? Pretty much my catnip. A character could look a lot worse than Channing, do that subtle dropping of the eyes, and I'm drooling on my popcorn. So yes, The Wachowskis had an easy in for me with that character. Also they wisely incorporated a shirtless fight scene early on. WELL DONE. More please.
Yes, you've heard correctly: the names are groan-worthy puns. The tropes. They trope. However, I think anyone who says this movie was hard-to-follow or convoluted is taking stupid pills. Or maybe they aren't as versed in Space Opera as I am. I mean... who doesn't recognize an interstellar mafia when they see one?
Another caveat: I HATED the Matrix. AH. That felt good to get off my chest. I despised every stoic, slow, joyless moment of its messianic bullet time, with a few moments of pleasure reserved only for minor characters and details of their ship.
What Jupiter Ascending had which The Matrix didn't is a heroine who was 'destined' - but not because of any prophecy or mumbo-jumbo higher powers bullcrap - but because of circumstance. The space society RULES that were arbitrarily made up by HUMANS predestined her. THAT I can get behind. YES. No magic. Just improbable odds.
Also I liked Jupiter. She was nuanced and well-rounded. She wasn't pure virtue from the start like some heroes. I think we get the one and only genuine moment of female desire I've ever seen in an action film. ABOUT TIME. Also: I really love dogs.
Hurt-the-pretty: 4
Feminismishness: 4
Dizzying action sequences: -3
Gorgeous space opera fun: +100
My thumbs, at least, are way up.
First off let me say that Channing Tatum is NOT his hottest in this film. I don't think the hair color worked for him, and neither did the elf-ears. Also he spends entirely too much time wearing a shirt.
Not that I minded much. Muscular, strong men who are submissive? Pretty much my catnip. A character could look a lot worse than Channing, do that subtle dropping of the eyes, and I'm drooling on my popcorn. So yes, The Wachowskis had an easy in for me with that character. Also they wisely incorporated a shirtless fight scene early on. WELL DONE. More please.
Yes, you've heard correctly: the names are groan-worthy puns. The tropes. They trope. However, I think anyone who says this movie was hard-to-follow or convoluted is taking stupid pills. Or maybe they aren't as versed in Space Opera as I am. I mean... who doesn't recognize an interstellar mafia when they see one?
Another caveat: I HATED the Matrix. AH. That felt good to get off my chest. I despised every stoic, slow, joyless moment of its messianic bullet time, with a few moments of pleasure reserved only for minor characters and details of their ship.
What Jupiter Ascending had which The Matrix didn't is a heroine who was 'destined' - but not because of any prophecy or mumbo-jumbo higher powers bullcrap - but because of circumstance. The space society RULES that were arbitrarily made up by HUMANS predestined her. THAT I can get behind. YES. No magic. Just improbable odds.
Also I liked Jupiter. She was nuanced and well-rounded. She wasn't pure virtue from the start like some heroes. I think we get the one and only genuine moment of female desire I've ever seen in an action film. ABOUT TIME. Also: I really love dogs.