Homophobes: You are not that hot
Last night, at a party, I was introduced to a woman. "Marie plays football!" my friend said.
"Do you do roller derby, too?" the woman asked. I get asked this surprisingly a lot, I suppose because if you do one sport, you must do them all.
"I have friends who do it," I said.
"I've thought about roller derby," the woman said, and then she drops the H-bomb. "But I'm afraid there are a lot of lesbians who do it."
While I tried to come up with a pleasant way to say, "Oh, I didn't realize you were a bigot," she continued.
"And if someone's going to get freaky with me, I'd rather it be a man. And you know they get freaky."
"You're not that hot," I said. "Anyway, they're there to play the game. They won't hit on you."
"No, they totally would."
And then the conversation moved away from me while I was still trying to formulate a way to say, "Hey, can we go back to your bigoted remarks? I want to refute them."
In the time honored privilege of those who blog, I will now write my response that I was too flummoxed to make at the time, although I know it's a bit cowardly and unfair. I'm just... oo I'm so mad. And I want to know that next time I'm confronted with bigotry I'll be prepared to say something that will maybe open a mind.
Would you hit on a gay man, lady? I mean, I have some gay male friends who are SMOKING HOT. (And you are all free to assume I'm talking about YOU, darlings.) How would you feel if they said they didn't want to do an activity with you because their smoking hotness would cause you to molest them?
You wouldn't do that, right? Because it's basic human courtesy not to hit on someone who you know is uninterested. Gay people have to put up with stigma and the fear that a random person who seemed nice at a party will turn into a douchebag the second they discover their sexual orientation. Do you think maybe that would actually make them a little MORE cautious in making sexual overtures? HMMM?
Or are you buying into the "roller derby is a sexy sexy spectacle of girl fighting" and you think getting hip-checked onto a hard wooden floor is going to somehow be sexual? I mean, you do know that roller derby has straight girls in it, too, right? I literally thought of this possibility just now while typing up my little rant. DAMN. Not cool, either. In fact, there is no way to interpret your remarks as anything but mean.
And I realize that I thought the "I hates the gays because I'm so hot they could not resist me" was strictly a GUY thing. So there's a little bit of my own prejudice exposed. Sorry, guys.
But seriously - who has such astonishingly high self-esteem that they think they are, personally, irresistible? WHO THINKS THAT? So I'm here to tell you, in all sincerity, no matter what you look like - NO ONE is that hot. Nope. Think of the hottest person you know. The hottest celebrity on earth. That person could play roller derby free of fear of molestation. And so can you.
"Do you do roller derby, too?" the woman asked. I get asked this surprisingly a lot, I suppose because if you do one sport, you must do them all.
"I have friends who do it," I said.
"I've thought about roller derby," the woman said, and then she drops the H-bomb. "But I'm afraid there are a lot of lesbians who do it."
While I tried to come up with a pleasant way to say, "Oh, I didn't realize you were a bigot," she continued.
"And if someone's going to get freaky with me, I'd rather it be a man. And you know they get freaky."
"You're not that hot," I said. "Anyway, they're there to play the game. They won't hit on you."
"No, they totally would."
And then the conversation moved away from me while I was still trying to formulate a way to say, "Hey, can we go back to your bigoted remarks? I want to refute them."
In the time honored privilege of those who blog, I will now write my response that I was too flummoxed to make at the time, although I know it's a bit cowardly and unfair. I'm just... oo I'm so mad. And I want to know that next time I'm confronted with bigotry I'll be prepared to say something that will maybe open a mind.
Would you hit on a gay man, lady? I mean, I have some gay male friends who are SMOKING HOT. (And you are all free to assume I'm talking about YOU, darlings.) How would you feel if they said they didn't want to do an activity with you because their smoking hotness would cause you to molest them?
You wouldn't do that, right? Because it's basic human courtesy not to hit on someone who you know is uninterested. Gay people have to put up with stigma and the fear that a random person who seemed nice at a party will turn into a douchebag the second they discover their sexual orientation. Do you think maybe that would actually make them a little MORE cautious in making sexual overtures? HMMM?
Or are you buying into the "roller derby is a sexy sexy spectacle of girl fighting" and you think getting hip-checked onto a hard wooden floor is going to somehow be sexual? I mean, you do know that roller derby has straight girls in it, too, right? I literally thought of this possibility just now while typing up my little rant. DAMN. Not cool, either. In fact, there is no way to interpret your remarks as anything but mean.
And I realize that I thought the "I hates the gays because I'm so hot they could not resist me" was strictly a GUY thing. So there's a little bit of my own prejudice exposed. Sorry, guys.
But seriously - who has such astonishingly high self-esteem that they think they are, personally, irresistible? WHO THINKS THAT? So I'm here to tell you, in all sincerity, no matter what you look like - NO ONE is that hot. Nope. Think of the hottest person you know. The hottest celebrity on earth. That person could play roller derby free of fear of molestation. And so can you.