173 - Write a fan letter
Dear Death,
I know there's like a serious lot of versions of you, and maybe in some weird fucking dimension I'd be like Death too, but y'know there's a lot of us, so I dunno how that works. Er whatever. The point that I'm trying to make is, you're pretty cool. Okay so like I don't get the whole fucking cloak and scythe thing, since I don't gotta do that shit, I totally get if you don't either.
Though like the shit from Bill and Ted? That's pretty fucking funny. I mean especially you getting a wedgie? Fucking hilarious. But man, how could you get beat at all of those games? They're so fucking easy.
Oh and I seriously love you on Family Guy, I mean how fucking funny is that show? Oh and on Medium? Kelsey Grammar? Badass man, so badass.
Even way before I got snuffed out, I read all of Piers Anthony stuff, and yours was always my favorite y'know? It makes me wonder if you're not like some kinda muse almost? Though I guess that's totally different realm of whatever. I mean if I'm a reaper, there's gotta be muses out there right? Cause even though some people are smart? I so don't get how some people come up with this shit.
I think though the one I like you best as, is from Sandman. That's the Death I'd like to see. Y'know I thought I saw you once. Upper management or whatever. I was probably wrong, but you smiled at me. I felt like I knew you. I bet everyone feels that way though, right? I'm pretty sure you'd constantly complain that I don't smile enough, and your cheerful optimism would proably get on my nerves all the damn time, but I dunno. Never thought I'd want Death as my BFF. Damn, did I just use the word BFF? Shoot me now. Pun not intended. Guess I'll have to stick with Mason.
I know that lots of people blame you for bad shit, and they totally want to hate it and all, so I bet you don't get too many letters saying 'hey thanks for coming to collect _____' y'know unless they were some fucking asshat. Though I've known a couple people like that.
Anyways, I just thought you should know that even though I'm still kinda bummed about being taken out when I was still a kid, I'm glad I'm still around and that I'm.. chosen or whatever.
I hate thinking I'm special. But y'know if it's from you, I guess it ain't all that bad.
Your favorite Reaper,
George
p.s. I'm sorry Last Action Hero sucked ass.
I know there's like a serious lot of versions of you, and maybe in some weird fucking dimension I'd be like Death too, but y'know there's a lot of us, so I dunno how that works. Er whatever. The point that I'm trying to make is, you're pretty cool. Okay so like I don't get the whole fucking cloak and scythe thing, since I don't gotta do that shit, I totally get if you don't either.
Though like the shit from Bill and Ted? That's pretty fucking funny. I mean especially you getting a wedgie? Fucking hilarious. But man, how could you get beat at all of those games? They're so fucking easy.
Oh and I seriously love you on Family Guy, I mean how fucking funny is that show? Oh and on Medium? Kelsey Grammar? Badass man, so badass.
Even way before I got snuffed out, I read all of Piers Anthony stuff, and yours was always my favorite y'know? It makes me wonder if you're not like some kinda muse almost? Though I guess that's totally different realm of whatever. I mean if I'm a reaper, there's gotta be muses out there right? Cause even though some people are smart? I so don't get how some people come up with this shit.
I think though the one I like you best as, is from Sandman. That's the Death I'd like to see. Y'know I thought I saw you once. Upper management or whatever. I was probably wrong, but you smiled at me. I felt like I knew you. I bet everyone feels that way though, right? I'm pretty sure you'd constantly complain that I don't smile enough, and your cheerful optimism would proably get on my nerves all the damn time, but I dunno. Never thought I'd want Death as my BFF. Damn, did I just use the word BFF? Shoot me now. Pun not intended. Guess I'll have to stick with Mason.
I know that lots of people blame you for bad shit, and they totally want to hate it and all, so I bet you don't get too many letters saying 'hey thanks for coming to collect _____' y'know unless they were some fucking asshat. Though I've known a couple people like that.
Anyways, I just thought you should know that even though I'm still kinda bummed about being taken out when I was still a kid, I'm glad I'm still around and that I'm.. chosen or whatever.
I hate thinking I'm special. But y'know if it's from you, I guess it ain't all that bad.
Your favorite Reaper,
George
p.s. I'm sorry Last Action Hero sucked ass.