159 - The New Year
Talk about one thing you hope to do in the upcoming year that you have never done before.
It's safe to say I'm going to take the soul of someone who's died in a way I wouldn't have thought possible next year. I'm sure once you've been doing this gig a while you won't see anything that you haven't seen before. I got over the whole freaking out thing pretty early. The blood and the guts don't bother me much anymore.
But I'm always amazed that people die in certain ways I wasn't sure even existed. Whether it's gravelings or suicide with some new invention, I know that's going to be new and I'll go 'huh, never seen that before'. And then Rube will tell me of the time he had seen it before. Because Rube is fucking old.
But that's not what I'm supposed to be talking about, right? Thing I hope to do in the upcoming year. Maybe get to go on some vacation to do some fancy reap? Daisy told me about the times she's been called places for major catastrophes. It sounded kind of fun despite the whole catastrophe thing. And lots of fucking work. Okay so maybe not a vacation.
A couple of days off of work from Happy Time? Nah I've had that before. And it always comes back to bite me on the ass. I come back the after my break and Delores gives me shit to collate. Collating is the worst job in the entire universe, I'm certain of it. And I take peoples souls for a living for fucks sake.
Let's be honest. I can't go anywhere and do things like a normal person. Not without shirking my responsibilities and I fucking know what happens when I do that. I'm not doing that shit again, fuck no. One time was enough. I guess I have to stick to doing something around town.
Maybe I'll bungee jump, or skydive or something really fucking dangerous because hell it's not like I can die right? Might as well live dangerously. As long as I don't hurt anyone else, I could do it. Rube might frown upon me interacting with the living too much. We have to be inconspicuous. I suspect if I was to accidentally cut off my leg and it just kind of welded itself back on, people would stop and stare. So maybe none of that either.
I'd say I'd have a relationship but everyone knows that's not going to happen. Not with one of the living, and certainly not with one of the dead. I could vow never to go back to see my family, but that's pretty much useless too. I'll keep doing it until I'm finally done with knowing what they're up to, how they're carrying on without me.
Maybe I'll be nice for a whole day. One day where no matter what I will be as fucking cheerful and optimistic as I can be. I'll be so damn cheery that I'll make Daisy want to vomit all over the waffle house table. I could do that right? I mean really, it couldn't be THAT hard to be optimistic and not say anything bad and oh who the fuck am I kidding I couldn't do that if someone paid me. It's a good thing I don't want to be an actress.
Perhaps I should just settle for trying to give a shit about something. That might be a little easier to do then actually being nice. I just have to find something to actually care about. To not back away and hide my head in the sand and throw myself into it completely.
That fucking terrifies me, to care about something or someone like that. And I haven't even been dicked over really in that department. Everyone I know that has issues about trusting people have a reason too, you know? But not me. So my Mom was a twat, I didn't give a shit about my sister and my dad dicked around or whatever. That's not really anything compared to what some people get stabbed in the back over.
Am I really worried about getting hurt? Nah probably not, I've been hurt alot. And I'm dead you know? Why would I give a shit if someone hurt my feelings or whatever? I guess if I give a shit about something I'll like it and want to do it and then I'll just have something else to do and I won't have so much to bitch about and be whiney and to be honest, I kind of like myself just as I am. I might whine and bitch, but fuck if I would change anything.
Not even being dead.
Have I actually picked something? No. Maybe it's just not the year. We'll see when it happens. Hopefully next year the prompt will be what have you done this year that you hadn't before and I can actually come up with a decent answer. Damn. Can't even pick something to try in the new year. Ah well, I guess the lack of decision is just me being me.
Muse: George Lass
Fandom: Dead Like Me
Word count: 858
It's safe to say I'm going to take the soul of someone who's died in a way I wouldn't have thought possible next year. I'm sure once you've been doing this gig a while you won't see anything that you haven't seen before. I got over the whole freaking out thing pretty early. The blood and the guts don't bother me much anymore.
But I'm always amazed that people die in certain ways I wasn't sure even existed. Whether it's gravelings or suicide with some new invention, I know that's going to be new and I'll go 'huh, never seen that before'. And then Rube will tell me of the time he had seen it before. Because Rube is fucking old.
But that's not what I'm supposed to be talking about, right? Thing I hope to do in the upcoming year. Maybe get to go on some vacation to do some fancy reap? Daisy told me about the times she's been called places for major catastrophes. It sounded kind of fun despite the whole catastrophe thing. And lots of fucking work. Okay so maybe not a vacation.
A couple of days off of work from Happy Time? Nah I've had that before. And it always comes back to bite me on the ass. I come back the after my break and Delores gives me shit to collate. Collating is the worst job in the entire universe, I'm certain of it. And I take peoples souls for a living for fucks sake.
Let's be honest. I can't go anywhere and do things like a normal person. Not without shirking my responsibilities and I fucking know what happens when I do that. I'm not doing that shit again, fuck no. One time was enough. I guess I have to stick to doing something around town.
Maybe I'll bungee jump, or skydive or something really fucking dangerous because hell it's not like I can die right? Might as well live dangerously. As long as I don't hurt anyone else, I could do it. Rube might frown upon me interacting with the living too much. We have to be inconspicuous. I suspect if I was to accidentally cut off my leg and it just kind of welded itself back on, people would stop and stare. So maybe none of that either.
I'd say I'd have a relationship but everyone knows that's not going to happen. Not with one of the living, and certainly not with one of the dead. I could vow never to go back to see my family, but that's pretty much useless too. I'll keep doing it until I'm finally done with knowing what they're up to, how they're carrying on without me.
Maybe I'll be nice for a whole day. One day where no matter what I will be as fucking cheerful and optimistic as I can be. I'll be so damn cheery that I'll make Daisy want to vomit all over the waffle house table. I could do that right? I mean really, it couldn't be THAT hard to be optimistic and not say anything bad and oh who the fuck am I kidding I couldn't do that if someone paid me. It's a good thing I don't want to be an actress.
Perhaps I should just settle for trying to give a shit about something. That might be a little easier to do then actually being nice. I just have to find something to actually care about. To not back away and hide my head in the sand and throw myself into it completely.
That fucking terrifies me, to care about something or someone like that. And I haven't even been dicked over really in that department. Everyone I know that has issues about trusting people have a reason too, you know? But not me. So my Mom was a twat, I didn't give a shit about my sister and my dad dicked around or whatever. That's not really anything compared to what some people get stabbed in the back over.
Am I really worried about getting hurt? Nah probably not, I've been hurt alot. And I'm dead you know? Why would I give a shit if someone hurt my feelings or whatever? I guess if I give a shit about something I'll like it and want to do it and then I'll just have something else to do and I won't have so much to bitch about and be whiney and to be honest, I kind of like myself just as I am. I might whine and bitch, but fuck if I would change anything.
Not even being dead.
Have I actually picked something? No. Maybe it's just not the year. We'll see when it happens. Hopefully next year the prompt will be what have you done this year that you hadn't before and I can actually come up with a decent answer. Damn. Can't even pick something to try in the new year. Ah well, I guess the lack of decision is just me being me.
Muse: George Lass
Fandom: Dead Like Me
Word count: 858