Welcome To The Family Ch 13 The Candyman
A/N: This is a Death Note fanfic. I don't own Death Note.
***
(HEY KIDS! DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION? / I KNOW THE WAY YOU’VE BEEN LIVIN’…”)
The detective stared listlessly at the walls of his cell and shivered. He couldn’t even assuage the chill feeling by curling in on himself in his usual “thinking crouch” because after his escape attempt his captor’s had taken to keeping him strapped down to the bed (and thus reducing his processing power by 40%.) It hardly mattered-the detective knew he wasn’t shivering because it was cold in his cell but because his body was burning up with fever. Earlier one of K’s minions, Bob, had come by to give him a sponge bath after L was sick on himself. Naturally L had made careful observations of all his guards and Bob seemed to be the most sympathetic towards him-in fact L was 83% certain of it. Perhaps if he played his cards right he could use him to get out of this hellhole…
Of course Bob wasn’t the guard’s real name as far as he knew. K’s minions never spoke to him and they all wore those identical matching biohazard suits and to the average observer they all looked the same but naturally the world’s greatest detective could discern definite differences in characteristics and mannerisms between each individual guard. L noted which one lacked confidence when he walked, which one was in charge, which one roughed him up… he noted the differences and mentally designated them names like Bob and John and Joe. In fact, he made a game out of it. After all, on top of being sick and miserable he was so very, very bored.
( “…I WAS SWIMMIN’ IN THE CARIBBEAN / ANIMALS WERE HIDING BEHIND THE ROCKS / EXCEPT THE LITTLE FISH / BUT THEY TOLD ME HE SWEARS / TRYIN’ TO TALK TO ME, COY KOI…”)
L’s mind hadn’t been this under-stimulated since before Wammy had found him at his old orphanage where he had engaged in such pastimes as counting the holes and the ceiling tiles in order to calculate how many holes were in the ceiling, creating his own languages to speak in that no one else could ever hope to understand, and dreaming up imaginary friends (because he had thought imaginary friends to be so much safer than real ones).
“…ALONE SHE SLEEPS IN THE SHIRT OF MAN / WITH MY THREE WISHES CLUTCHED IN HER HAND / THE FIRST THAT SHE BE SPARED THE PAIN / THAT COMES FROM A DARK AND LAUGHING RAIN…”)
The captive detective smiled in the dark as the pounding sound came from the other side of the door.
Not that K and her people hadn’t left him entirely bereft of “entertainment.” She had left him with that big screen TV that she had used during her previous gloating session to plaster her smug, smiling face all over the screen. She had left him with the TV because, naturally, K wanted him to see her grand plan come to fruition while he was powerless to stop it. It was all stupid posturing. Here, she put him in an easily escapable situation… or rather, it would be an easily escapable situation if he wasn’t running such a high fever and didn’t fear spreading K’s plague upon his escape. In any case, it was an insult to his intelligence and the detective wondered why she didn’t include sharks with frickin’ laser beams while she was at it. There was one thing, however, that disturbed the detective-K or someone working with her had managed to jack into Wammy’s own live security feed network with worrying ease-he would have to talk to Watari about that (assuming of course that Watari was still alive.)
K would occasionally interrupt his viewing time; again shoving her grinning news anchor’s face into the camera in order to question him about Kira’s whereabouts. L had to stop himself from smiling; if K had been paying the least bit attention to the Wammy’s security feed she’d know who Kira was! However K seemed to be under the impression that Light, the new kid from Japan that the other children called “Kira” was a decoy that L had set up to help hide the real Kira and L did nothing to correct her assumptions.
L just continued to work-oh he was stuck in bed, the restraints made sure of that, but his mind was always in motion-ever-plotting, ever-planning, and ever-gleaning information from his stupidly careless captors. He carefully observed K’s mooks. They would enter his cell at unpredictable intervals sometimes it was to scream at him or rough him up but that never went very far. It was obvious that K or whoever was calling the shots didn’t want their prisoner dead yet because just as often it would be someone with medical training checking his temperature and, upon finding that he was “burning up,” torturing him by placing icepacks over his supine body and gave him an IV drip when he refused to eat or drink anything they gave him. L refused food most of the time. He wished he could say it was on general principle but really even if they were to give him real food like say cake, or ice cream or the other basic food groups he would have been too nauseous to eat it.
(“…HAVE SOME MORE YOGURT, HAVE SOME MORE SPAM! / IT DOESN’T MATTER IF IT’S FRESH OR CANNED …”)
K had done him a favor, really. No matter what the motives behind leaving him the TV-he could stay informed of the goings on at Wammy’s House this way and he could continue to keep track of his latest project. Even with the looming specter of impending doom it was a welcome distraction from his sickness and the oppressiveness of these four walls and so the detective quickly fell back into his indulging in his most recent obsession-observing Kira.
( “…O CAN’T YOU SEE / YOU BELONG TO ME / HOW MY POOR HEART ACHES WITH EVERY STEP YOU TAKE…”)
(L just kept smiling as this time the pounding of fists on steel was followed by a screeching, ape-like sound.)
L found he sorely missed his mental sparring matches with the younger man. Even though Light was Kira (or as his fansites declared him to be “a God, the savior, the harbinger of doom and messenger from Hell”) he just hadn’t seemed that menacing during their walks in the park when he managed to get those soft pink Sakura petals stuck in his hair. And, truth be told, Light had provided him with greater mental stimulation than many of Wammy’s most complicated puzzles. The detective had felt confused and oddly empty when Light’s actions had essentially thrown in the towel in their little game because, as monstrous as the teen’s mind was, L honestly missed his company.
(“SUNSHINE, LOLLIPOPS AND RAINBOWS / EVERYTHING THAT’S WONDERFUL / IS WHAT I FEEL WHEN WE’RE TOGETHER!”)
Being alone… it never bothered him before he met Light. But now… now he wished Light was there with them because misery loves company. He wouldn’t mind if Light was there even if it meant that they were at each other’s throats-especially if they were at each other’s throats. L found it greatly amusing to get him all worked up like that. The detective liked to imagine that if he and Light were sharing a cell (and if Light didn’t kill him immediately) they would be out of here and playing tennis within five minute of getting captured. Okay, that was a statistically improbable scenario but the detective could at least admit to himself that he did indeed have a human side.
But L knew that even before this unfortunate little setback with being kidnapped it had been necessary for him to distance himself from Light for a number of reasons-for ethics, for his sanity, and for Light’s sake-as long as Light saw this as something that L was forcing on him he would never even consider trying to “rehabilitate” for his own sake. It would be difficult enough as it was without adding their rivalry into the equation because in Kira’s mentality, he was doing nothing wrong. In Light’s mind he was helping the world and he would feel that he was being unjustly persecuted for his noble sacrifice and he would never stop to think or question himself. L knew because Light was just as stubborn as he was.
(“…THEY’LL TELL YOU BLACK IS REALLY WHITE / THE MOON IS JUST THE SUN AT NIGHT / AND WHEN YOU WALK IN GOLDEN HALLS / YOU GET TO KEEP THE GOLD THAT FALLS …”)
It was a long-shot, but L thought that maybe, just maybe, if Light was re-educated in Wammy’s Program and spent some time with other intelligent teenagers on his level it just might get Light to re-think his priorities. L didn’t hold out much hope for some miraculous turn-around but at the very least L was hoping he might tone down his raging God complex. (Though, again, L didn’t hold out much hope.) But at least this exercise should show his handlers that Light was safe around children and small pets and he knew what he was doing when he planned to count Kira as a tentative ally.
(“…TO TOUCH IS TO HEAL / TO HURT IS TO STEAL / IF YOU WANT TO KISS THE SKY / BETTER LEARN HOW TO KNEEL (ON YOUR KNEES BOY!)”)
Luckily L’s current problems didn’t interfere with his long-term plans because he needed to strike a delicate balance when dealing with Light-kun. L knew he had to get Kira under his control but he also had to let Light believe he had been right. It was the lynchpin of his sanity and if he ever fully allowed himself to face down just what he had done he would probably break down entirely. L didn’t want Light broken. Sure, Kira deserved it plenty; but that wasn’t what L was trying to do here with his “rehabilitation” program-a broken Kira would be less than worthless to him. What he was trying to do was build upon the bonds of “friendship” he had extended to him and so collar him instead of killing him.
Why?
(“…TODAY IS GONNA BE THE DAY / THAT THEY’RE GONNA THROW IT BACK TO YOU / BY NOW YOU SHOULD’VE SOMEHOW / REALIZED WHAT YOU GOTTA DO / I DON’T BELIEVE THAT ANYBODY / FEELS THE WAY I DO ABOUT YOU NOW…”)
That was the question wasn’t it?
Why didn't he want to execute Kira-one of the most ruthless mass-murderers in recent years?
The captive detective had a lot of time to think about it and ultimately it all came down to the fact that L didn’t want to. Because he was unsettled and fascinated by this kindred soul, Kira, Light Yagami, and because while Light was a madman, he was a madman that L was rather fond of and, admittedly, he could be very useful in the future. And L always liked to expand upon his list of conquests: he already had Wedy, the world’s greatest thief, and Aiber, the world’s greatest conman. So shouldn’t he also procure the loyalty and services of the world’s greatest assassin? And while he wouldn’t take killing lightly, or as lightly as Light did, L knew from his career as a spook and Interpol’s trump card that one day Kira’s powers and skill set would undeniably come in handy.
(“…SIX O’CLOCK, TV HOUR, DON’T GET CAUGHT IN FOREIGN TOWER / SLASH AND BURN, RETURN, LISTEN TO YOURSELF CHURN / LOCK HIM IN UNIFORM, BOOK BURNING, BLOODLETTING / EVERY MOTIVE ESCALATE, AUTOMOTIVE INCNERATE…”)
L wasn’t surprised that Light fit right into Wammy’s House, after all, the teen was a social chameleon and he could adapt well to most situations he would find himself in. L squeezed his bound hands into fists and shook slightly as he observed Kira from his cell. It was the first time that L really felt that K was interfering with his plans. If he still had contact with Wammy’s he would have been able to warn them that they really needed to pay closer attention to Light during his computer science class. L couldn’t see exactly what Light was doing from the angles of the camera (once again it seemed Kira somehow knew he was under surveillance and even the placement of the cameras) but L could tell by the ridiculously smug expression that Light wore when he thought no one was looking that he was obviously up to something. It was to be expected; Kira wasn’t one to give up and honestly L would be insulted if Light wasn’t trying to escape.
Later the detective had watched in fascination and amusement as Kira had, for lack of better words, thrown a hissy fit over the idea that the great detective L had successors (doubtlessly L had somehow wounded Kira’s enormous ego) and demanded to talk to him. L frowned at this as he reflected that perhaps he had been too aloof with his successors if Kira was the only one to notice he was gone. He really hoped his message got through.
(“IF I COULD HAVE ONE WISH TONIGHT / I’D WISH UPON A SATELLITE / TO BRING ME BACK TO YOU, BRING ME BACK TO YOU…”)
However, L was surprised at how well Light was getting on with Near. He still wasn’t sure if that was cause for celebration or concern. The detective might have been slightly envious that Light had somehow managed what he had not, to finally get the boy to break out of his shell, but it probably helped that Light didn’t have any of L’s misgivings. L was always a bit wary of Near-in the back of his mind the reclusive detective couldn’t help but compare him to another of his successors that set out to copy him-L already had one “evil twin” and he wasn’t overly eager to have a repeat of that experience. That comparison was probably unfair but L had to acknowledge, at least to himself, that it was always there. (At the very least, now maybe Near would come to transfer his budding unhealthy obsession to Light and thus it would no longer be his problem…)
Still, the detective felt odd every time his successor tried to cling to the killer. Light was always polite and friendly but he set firm boundaries that Near seemed determined to cross. It was inevitable given the boy’s past. He had no idea how to appropriately express himself. Like so many of the orphans that came to them his sense of identity and self-worth had been utterly shattered by childhood trauma. Watari found that worked in their favor-the damaged child prodigies would be eager to work long and hard to rebuild and redefine themselves as L’s Successors. When he first came to them Near had been so traumatized that he had refused to even speak for over a year and initially had severe panic attacks whenever he received human contact. He scored the best in the school, though, and thus gained the ire of Wammy’s House and became all the more isolated. Though he was quiet and seemingly well-behaved (L knew the fact of the matter was that, unlike Mello, Near just didn’t caught), Near had just as much to prove as Mello. So it was… odd that Near and Light remained as sort-of-friends even after Light beat him for Wammy’s number one spot.
(“…I MAKE THEM GOOD GIRLS GO BAD! / I MAKE THEM GOOD GIRLS GO…”)
Having nothing better to do and seeing as K had yet to enact her “master plan” L paid close attention to the Wammy’s House Soap Opera in the hopes of solving this particular enigma. Honestly, L had seen the blonde and the red-head coming from a mile away (as did apparently everyone but them)-Mello was scarcely ever without his constant shadow-the Matt. The two had been inseparable since Matt first arrived at Wammy’s. And Mello’s reaction was also all-too predictable given his age and upbringing.
L gazed for hours at the TV screen spying on Light and his younger siblings but their antics got dull after a while. L was just beginning to tune it all out when he overheard Light declare that he was in love with another man. That’s when the detective decided to indulge in a long coughing fit that dislodged some of the more persistent phlegm that had taken up residence in the back of his throat.
What the HELL is he playing at? Why would Light Yagami ever tarnish the perfect image he’d built up for himself? And he had to be lying! The detective had observed the teen near constantly over the last few months. Surely he would have noticed if Light had a boyfriend? But what purpose did it serve to create a boyfriend that didn’t exist? If it was a fake girlfriend he could understand; that matched the kind of image Light was trying to project… no, that didn’t make sense either. If he took to using the excuse of a fake girlfriend and someone caught onto his deception that would also ruin his perfect image. Besides, if Light wanted a girlfriend he would no doubt have one. L remembered from Raye Penber’s notes that Light seldom dated because he was “busy studying.” (Busy studying at his school for normals? Studying material that he no doubt knew in his sleep?)
Perhaps he really is… He didn’t seem the least bit interested when he was looking at those magazines in his room…. L tried to determine if Light was particularly close to any of his male “friends.” Yamamoto, maybe? They did walk home together every day.
(“…NOW THEY’RE GOING TO BED / AND MY STOMACH IS SICK / AND IT’S ALL IN MY HEAD / BUT SHE’S TOUCHING HIS… CHEST / NOW…”)
For completely professional reasons L tried to imagine Light getting intimate with the slender, bespectacled Japanese boy and felt an odd flash of some unidentified feeling at the thought and suddenly experienced a wave of nausea for no reason that he could discern.
The detective was puzzled by his own reactions. Why should the idea disturb him? L enjoyed watching all kinds of erotica-he had little requirements about porn other than it be done well and he frequently watched men having sex for work and pleasure. L even had his own secret network of perverts and peepers who answered only to him. But for some reason the idea of Light with Yamamoto bothered him.
The detective felt a whirling sense of anxiety in the pit of his stomach seeing as he couldn’t even bite his thumb in contemplation as he felt compelled to do. He wished he had some sweets to chew on. He wished his body didn’t ache. Hell, while he was wishing for things he wished he was out of here at this very instant and that he was visiting Wammy’s and had Kira baking cookies for him…
Whoa, where the hell did that come from?
L suddenly had the mental image of Light in a frilly apron and oven mitts scolding him not to eat the fudge muffins because they just came out of the oven and he could have them when they’d cooled and to stay out of the frosting as well because it would ruin his teeth. Perhaps his fever was causing him to hallucinate.
L frowned and leaned his head back against the rock-hard mattress. His long dark hair had become stringy and sweaty thanks to his illness and it pulled painfully as it was caught underneath his body.
The detective merely frowned as he stared at the featureless ceiling of his cell.
He’s “in love with another man…” Perhaps his beau was older? Or maybe I’m jumping to conclusions. Light never said he had a boyfriend-just that he was in love with another man. What if it’s unrequited? What if the idiot is utterly clueless about Light’s feelings? What if…?
L suddenly shot up, or rather tried to, pulling futilely against the restraints.
No. It couldn’t be…
Naturally, to be the world’s greatest detective he had a superhuman attention to detail and a near eidetic memory but… but he couldn't be remembering this right, could he? The detective found himself wishing he could rewind the feed because if he recalled the first night. He remembered how Light had snarled out his codename in such an irritated… no frustrated tone of voice. He hadn’t thought much of it at the time but… but Light had immediately rolled over onto his stomach as if to hide…
That’s ridiculous! It has to be a coincidence. I mean, it can’t be… He knows I’m his enemy! He knows I vowed to see him executed! He knows that… and he still saved my life.
In another completely professional experiment L imagined the same scenario in his mind-of a naked body entwined with Light’s-only replacing himself with Yamamoto and the detective discovered he had no problem imaging himself meeting Light on some secret rendezvous. That’s when L recognized that the strange feeling he had been experiencing was jealousy.
(“ONLY WHEN I STOP TO THINK ABOUT YOU, / I KNOW / ONLY WHEN YOU STOP TO THINK ABOUT ME, / DO YOU…?”)
Th-there’s no use denying it. I… I like Light-kun.
Naturally, he had wanted to deny it but to do so would be to ignore the facts of the case and that would have gone against his training. L felt he had solved this in record time given how very emotionally stunted he was: Light liked him. He liked Light. Or at the very least their mutual interactions of friendly hostility served as a cover for latent sexual attraction. There. Mystery solved. It was just his rotten luck that he had this potentially life-changing epiphany when he was nowhere near Light and currently strapped to a bed, locked in some nondescript cell in an undisclosed location, and infected with an unknown custom virus. But then when had things ever been easy for him? It was just one more reason he needed to get the hell out of here.
Damn you, Kira!
Adding to his many difficulties, fantasizing about Light had had an effect on him and since he was strapped to the bed he had no way to relieve himself. All he could do was wait-it would go down eventually.
A guard, the one that L had taken to mentally referring to as “John,” came in to change his bedpan before it did. L could tell, even through the darkened helmet that the bastard was eyeing his tenting hospital gown-the infantile snickering sounds that reverberated inside the moon suit was a dead giveaway. L’s pale skin burned red with fever and humiliation but “John” would ultimately be disappointed as L stoically gave no reaction to any of the guard’s pointed remarks. And despite his threatening words he touched him no more than was necessary to clean him.
I doubt he wants to get infected. It’s unlikely he’ll try anything, no matter how cool and sexy I am. L thought feverishly. Then again, he might be that stupid… L wondered if he had to fear anything from “John” or if he was just being an ass… but then he supposed that those two conditions weren’t mutually exclusive. L hated being sick. It was obviously affecting his judgment. That and he was no doubt suffering from decreased reasoning capabilities what with the blood flowing into the wrong head.
L indulged in a few minutes mentally cursing Kira, K, microorganisms, stupid henchmen, and healthy eating and felt a bit better about himself. And that’s when L had first thought up his most perfect revenge:
“….HEY JUDE, DON’T MAKE IT BAD / TAKE A SAD SONG AND MAKE IT BETTER…”
***
“…ANNIE, ARE YOU OKAY? / ARE YOU OKAY? / ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE? / YOU’VE BEEN HIT BY / YOU’VE BEEN STRUCK BY / A SMOOTH CRIMINAL!”
***
"…NA NA NA NAAA NA NA NAA NANANA THUNDER! / NA NA NA NAAA NA NA NAA NANANA THUNDER!”
***
"…OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DOO! / I’VE GOD ANOTHER PUZZLE FOR YOU…”
***
“…AIGAN SEZUMO HŌ NI AKU TSUNAGŌ RŌ HE / NŌTO NI MŌDOKU BAN’NŌ NO OSORE IDAKU! / Ō USO NO MŌSŌ NI YODARE GA TAEMANAKU…”
***
…“I FIRST PRODUCTED MY PISTOL AND THEN PRODUCED MY RAPIER. / I SAID: ‘STAND AND DELIVER OR THE DEVIL HE MAY TAKE YA’!”
***
“…A TOUT LE MONDE / A TOUT MES AMIS / JE VOUS AIME / JE DOIS PARTIR…”
***
“…THEY FOLLOW ME HOME, DISTURBING MY SLEEP / BUT I’LL FIND A PLACE, PLACE WHERE THEY CANNOT FIND ME…”
***
"…SOBREVIVIENDO / EN ESTA VIDA ES LO QUE ESTOY HACIENDO / SOBREVIVIENDO / ESTOY SOBREVIENDO, ESTOY SOBREVIENDO / SOBREVIVIENDO / POR QUE LA GENTE ME SIGUE OYENDO…”
***
"…OH NO, NOT ME / I NEVER LOST CONTROL / YOU’RE FACE TO FACE / WITH THE MAN WHO SOLD THE WORLD…”
***
"…WHAT’S UP! FUANZAI IP-PAI HANZAI KIENAI TOWANI / WHAT’S UP! FUANZAI IP-PAI (URAMINI WANA DARE DOWN?)…”
***
“…OH DON’T BE NO ONE’S BITCH, BE NO ONE’S BITCH / IT’S BAD FOR YOU…”
***
"…SORS IMMANIS / ET INANIS, / ROTA TU VOLUBILIS, / STATUS MALUS, / VANA SALUS / SEMPER DISSOLUBILIS, / OBUMBRATA / ET VELATA / MICHI QUOQUE NITERIS; / NUCPER LUDUM / DORSUM NUDUM / FERO TUI SCELERIS….”
***
"…OOH, HE’S A SWEET-TALKIN’, SUGAR-COATED CANDY MAN / HE’S A SWEET-TALKIN’, SUGAR-COATED CANDY MAN / OH YEAH…” L serenaded his guards and anyone else within hearing range.
“I SAID QUIET IN THERE!” once again came the answering shriek and banging on the door for the 156th time that day. (L, naturally, had kept score.)
Playing loud music at all hours of the day and night was an acknowledged siege tactic as well as a torture technique often used to demoralize prisoners but L adapted it now to use against his captors. He had no loud speakers, no music player, but that didn’t stop him from singing his throat raw. The normally soft-spoken detective was perfectly capable of shouting at the top of his lungs.
“…ROCK OF AGES, ROCK OF AGES! / STILL ROLLIN’, KEEP A-ROLLIN’…”
He would sing until his lungs gave out. He would sing until they let him go or killed him but then L knew he was no use to them dead. They wouldn’t kill him until they carried out their grand plan, after all, they wanted him alive to gloat to, so that gave L carte blanche to push as hard as he could and to be as obnoxious as possible.
"…FINGERTIPS HAVE MEMORIES / MINE CAN’T FORGET THE CURVES OF YOUR BODY / AND WHEN I FEEL A BIT NAUGHTY / I RUN IT UP THE FLAGPOLE AND SEE WHO SALUTES BUT NO ONE EVER DOES…”
L recalled how Light had occasionally made catty remarks about his lifestyle choices and poor manners but thought his suspect may not believe it L had seldom been intentionally obnoxious. After all, he had been forced to work directly with the Japanese police and had been in the middle of dancing and dueling with a suspect with an unknown murder weapon that had no compunction about killing people over any perceived slight. Truly, during the Kira case L had been on his best behavior.
Light had never seen L when he was really trying.
“…WELL SOMEBODY TOLD ME! / YOU HAD A BOYFRIEND! / WHO LOOKED LIKE A GIRLFRIEND! / THAT I HAD IN FEBRUARY OF LAST YEAR…”
He averaged about twelve songs an hour and especially tried to remember one with especially obnoxious and repetitive lyrics and he would often sing the same songs over and over and over and over again.
“…SHE LOVES YOU YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, / SHE LOVES YOU YEAH, YEAH, YEAH…”
***
"WOOHOO! / WOOHOO! / WOOHOO! / WOOHOO! / I GOT MY HEAD CHECKED / BY A JUMBO JET / IT WASN’T EASY / BUT NOTHING IH-IS, NO / WOOHOO!”
***
Hey, they were making him miserable. It was, after all, only fair to return the favor-an eye for an eye.
“…WELL, I’M HOT BLOODED, CHECK IT AND SEE / I GOT A FEVER OF A HUNDRED AND THREE!”
Most of the guards seemed to attribute it to their prisoner’s high fever and his losing his mind. It didn’t even occur to them that L was doing it on purpose so that they would stop watching him so closely so he could finish getting out of the restraints. Of course L knew that K and her cronies could’ve shut him up if they sedated him again but L had taken the calculated risk that K wouldn’t want him overdosing on sedatives before he’d bore witness to her “moment of glory.” It seemed that, so far, sedating him hadn’t even occurred to them.
“…POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME! / OOH, IN THE NAME OF LOVE! / POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME! / C’MON, FIRE ME UP…”
L actually had quite a lovely singing voice when he put an effort into it. However, for the sake of his audience he was purposely singing loudly and off-key. After a day of imprisonment and regaling his captors with his magnificent karaoke skills L had managed to covertly work one of his restraints loose.
The detective made a game of it. After the guards yelled, L would be quiet for while, (an unpredictable, measured interval. For instance this time he counted to 314) before starting up again. Sometimes it was the same song over and over (and over and over) again. Other times, like now he found another song that would be at least just as annoying to his captors.
“THE CANDYMAN! / THE CANDYMAN CAN! / THE CANDYMAN CAN ‘CAUSE HE MIXES IT WITH LOVE AND MAKES THE WORLD TASTE GOOD…” L absolutely loved that song. That and “Pure Imagination” even L lost track of how many times he sang those songs to his captive audience.
"OH MY GOD, WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT WILLY WONKA!” one of the guards screamed back through the door.
"Just ignore him, Ikari.” Another guard shouted in order to be heard over L’s caterwauling.
The detective smirked in the dark of his cell. Well would you look at that. I’m wearing them down and now I actually know one of their names (Where’s Kira when you need him?) Either that or whoever chose his alias is an anime fan...
L kept his face as a stoically blank mask. The guards were holding out much longer than L anticipated. The detective had been singing for nearly six hours straight with just small breaks in between songs.
This time L only counted to 12 before…
“WE’RE NO STRANGERS TO LOVE! / YOU KNOW THE RULES AND SO DO I! / A FULL COMMITEMENT’S WHAT I’M THINKING OF / YOU WOULND’T GET THIS FROM ANY OTHER GUY…”
***
“THAT’S IT! I’M COMING IN THERE!”
L waited while the guard that was identified as “Ikari” that L had previously thought of as a “John” forced the door open and rushed into his cell with obviously murderous intentions.
***
A/N: L's lovely singing voice http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NY3gY48pxjA
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