Lies On Ch 12 Inner Demons

[reaperlight]

A/N: The disclaimer: I own NOTHING!

The story:

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The first thing L felt when he slowly returned to consciousness was exhaustion. Their previous activities had left him feeling drained and even sleeping for so long* had failed to cure it. (*Several hours was a long time for the insomniac detective.) The other thing L observed was that Light's arm seemed to increase exponentially in mass as he left it draped across his hips. The detective shifted uncomfortably but he couldn't really move-every part of him ached but it was a pleasant ache-he felt content like he had just indulged in a decadent layer cake and elated as if he had just solved a difficult case. L found that puzzling. All they did was engage in a biological function and it was hardly the first time the detective had experimented with it…. As L woke up some more he immediately began to have regrets. He slept with Kira! Why did he sleep with his suspect? What could have possessed him…?

As L awoke to this epiphany he tried in earnest to get away but still found he couldn't move. However though his mind was in turmoil his body was quite content to stay put at the moment. In defiance of logic and common sense he felt perfectly safe where he was with his… lover(?) spooning against his back as he lay beneath the warm and cozy blankets…

Wait… L didn't remember ever getting under the covers and didn't Light's bed have a blue comforter…? This one was a brilliant shade of red and felt soft and smooth against his bare skin. L noticed that the fabric was regularly broken up by some oddly-organic structures that almost resembled elongated finger that terminated in claws.

L's heart began to hammer in his chest as he realized it wasn't a blanket-it was patagia, like the wing of a bat. L followed the "fingers" to where they connected to an "arm" draped over him and slowly turned around, following the wings to where they seemed to sprout out from behind his sleeping beau… who seemed to have grown a pair of horns and dyed his hair candy red when he wasn't looking. L gave a startled cry and instinctively tried to shoot away but he was trapped in the entanglement of limbs and wings and… and L became aware that there were too many limbs entangled with his own-something long and serpentine was curled possessively around his right leg. The detective shuddered in fear as he felt the thing slithering against him.

L's squirming caused Light to stir. L heard him murmuring something about a "sweet raven" as he hugged him closer, pressing his back flush against his chest. To L's immediate embarrassment a terrified whimper escaped his throat. Light's eyes shot open at Ryuuzaki's sound of distress.

"Ryuuzaki? What's wrong?"

L stared-when he spoke there was a hint of fangs and… and Light's eyes! They were blood red, serpentine, and were gleaming with their own light! Light looked like the face of Death-his death.

Light reached out to try and comfort his lover and saw the claws that tipped the ends of his fingers.

Oh shi-!

Light remembered now, before he collapsed it had taken everything to keep from draining Ryuuzaki-he hadn't even had the energy to keep up appearances at being human. Light's breathing became erratic with panic. (L noticed the change in the midst of his own panic. What does a monster fear? ) Light was terrified of losing Ryuuzaki over this-or worse, having to kill him…

"Ryuuzaki…"

It'll be alright, I won't have to kill him. He's mine! He will be loyal to me. My experiments prove it! Even when I revealed this form to the criminals that I slept with they were still loyal and eager to serve me.

As a show of good faith Light gave Ryuuzaki his space, releasing him from his suffocating embrace, and uncoiled his tail from where it had curled around Ryuuzaki's leg as he slept.

Sometimes to capture something you must first set it free.

Light sat back in a relaxed pose, folding his wings so that they rested over his shoulders and down his back like a great red cape.

He simply watched as Ryuuzaki comically scuttled to the other end of the bed, never once taking his eyes off him-or even blinking.

Light fidgeted, the way Ryuuzaki was staring was kind of creeping him out.

"Ryuuzaki. It's me… it's still me!"

Ryuuzaki still looked terrified. Well, he still looked like a demon, but Light was certain that making Ryuuzaki watch the transformation process would freak him out even more-sometimes the change was seamless but more often it was painful and gross-sometimes when he changed to human form his wings, horns, and tail would shrivel up strangely or when going the other way his skeletal structure would grow faster than the rest of him and exposed bone would burst from his changing body before the other tissues regenerated. It was not a pretty sight.

Light worked to comfort Ryuuzaki (his Ryuuzaki) by placing a hand on his shoulder but he flinched. Light tried to keep from frowning-that made him feel unwanted. No one had rejected him in well… ever. It hurt.

Of course Ryuuzaki is stronger-willed than those weak-minded fools. I have to work to keep his trust… no-it's better this way. If it's too easy it almost feels like cheating…

"Please… I'm sorry. I know I look… scary like this." Light pleaded.

L snapped out of his existential crisis upon discovering that monsters may actually exist to answer the perceived stab at his already wounded pride.

"I'm not scared of you," L hissed.

Light wondered who he was trying to convince.

"Really…?" Light asked hopefully and then looked away with downcast eyes. "Most people are." Light said it in a quiet, pitiful voice that was carefully calculated to simultaneously compliment Ryuuzaki for his great courage and inspire his sympathy. Hopefully that would keep Ryuuzaki from running for the door or questioning his decision to stay with Light as he no doubt would…

No, L wouldn't consider himself scared of Light. Sure he was a bit shell-shocked by all this but he thought he was taking it rather well-after all he had already been fairly certain that he had been screwed by a monster. This just made it more obvious. Perhaps he was closer to discovering the source of Kira's powers… But even more interesting to the detective was that Light's pleading that Ryuuzaki not leave him… it seemed genuine.

Kira is vulnerable…

L nodded and repeated Light's words in what (he hoped) was a soothing tone "You are still you. You are Light-kun. Light-kun is very dear to me..."

Light looked pleased and relieved at Ryuuzaki's answer and hugged him amorously. It was too much too soon, L shied away without meaning to. Light looked absolutely stricken and began to apologize profusely again.

"I'm sorry I-Please, I'm not a monster!"

L never ceased in his staring. That face... Like the face of death itself…

"Are you a Shinigami?" L blurted out.

"What?"

L was kicking himself. This is why he didn't do his own legwork most of the time! He was well aware how social complexities worked in theory but overall had trouble grasping the whole concept of tact. He knew after the fact that this was entirely wrong moment to ask and he quickly attempted damage control, (and hoped he wasn't digging himself in deeper.)

"You know; the Kira case… it's all anyone ever talks about on campus."

That excuse should also work to excuse any other suspicious queries in the future. "Ryuuzaki" is merely curious about the Kira case-just like the rest of the global population.

"Really?" Light feigned a passive interest but L could see how Light was glowing with pride at that statement (L found that to be irksome. The people were living in fear. Yes, surely that was something to be proud of.) But even more telling was Light's new tail. L had noticed how the red, serpentine thing had drooped listlessly when his lover... er suspect was upset but now it had begun wagging happily.

"Who's a good Kira, yes you are!" L suppressed a rare smile and made a mental note that Light was much easier to read in this form.

"I remember reading it in the paper. Kira mentioned something about Shinigami… And… there's a rumor that Kira must be a Shinigami."

Light gaped at his Raven and then looked visibly irritated. Such a statement was non-falsifiable. To answer that he wasn't a Shinigami would mean he was subtly admitting that he was Kira. To deny he was Kira made him look like a Shinigami-and Kira.

Who ARE you? Light stared at Ryuuzaki as if seeing him for the first time. He was getting into my stuff too. Could he be a spy sent by L?

No…

Ryuuzaki matched my score! He's not one of those idiots! Raye Penber, Naomi Misora caught out so easily! He's… he's just like me!

"You remind me of L. There's something about you that's just like him."

There's no proof that he's-

Come on! THE L wouldn't take unnecessary risks like confronting a suspect with an unknown murder weapon directly! That's STUPID! The real L would stay somewhere safe. He'd think of a plan first!

But then Light remembered how much fun he had gloating over dying criminals and FBI agents… If L really was "just like him..."

Alright, it's unlikely it's L unless he is absolutely certain that I couldn't do anything to him. Could it be he feels safe just because Kira doesn't know his name? Is he really that overconfident?

Light looked up to see that Ryuuzaki was still staring at him, no studying him intently.

Could Ryuuzaki really be…?

Light felt himself getting hot as the feelings of anger and betrayal washed over him. L watched puzzled as Light bolted for the restroom, slamming the door behind him and ripping it from its hinges.

L winced as he suddenly realized how easily Light could hurt him if he wanted to. Light didn't need his name in that monstrous form he could kill him with his bare hands and though L knew that if Light killed him now his death would alert the other investigators to Kira's identity that thought offered him little solace.

Meanwhile in the bathroom Light stepped into the freezing shower just as the flames began to roll off his skin. It was never this bad before. The very thought that Ryuuzaki could be his enemy-the very L he was fighting all this time was… He wanted to scorch the Earth at the very idea!

No! PLEASE NO! DAMMIT! NO! I-I love this man! I love…

It was scary how fast the bond had formed. It was like Ryuuzaki was the first human being he could actually even relate to. He couldn't even imagine a perfect world without that beautiful quirky genius in it.

Light immediately saw this attachment as a weakness-it was an obstacle to all he had worked for. He HAD to kill L! He didn't want to but he needed to. What was one life compared to the thousands, the millions he could save by acting as Kira? If he couldn't kill L he was compromising his mission and everything he stood for! Stopping was unthinkable-what would it have been all for if he didn't see it through to the end? He HAD to kill L! He had to kill… Ryuuzaki...

"Light-kun?" Ryuuzaki asked softly, his voice laced with concern as he stumbled into the bathroom to find where Light had taken to huddling in the corner of the shower.

Light stared at his knees unseeing as the shower spray rolled down his face (it had to be spray…)

L stumbled backwards in surprise when Light suddenly put his fist through the bathroom tiles and roared "It's not fair!"

"Life isn't fair, Light..." L again wished he could figure out that whole tact thing soon because aggravating Light didn't seem particularly wise at the moment. L watched as the water from the shower turned to steam before hitting Light's skin and how little tongues of flame rolled off of him in bursts (giving "flaming" a whole new meaning) and began to get an inkling of just how dangerous Light really was...

Meanwhile, Light quickly thought of an excuse to explain his behavior. "You weren't supposed to know! No one was supposed to know! You weren't supposed to see me like this!" It came out as a choked sob.

Yes, Light thought to himself. I truly am an amazing actor.

"Light-kun…"

Light saw L's obvious look of concern, and how the other reached out his hand but withdrew it in fear of getting burned. Light took a deep breath and another and slowly he managed to calm himself and the flames subsided. L tentatively laid his hand on Light's shoulder and to his surprise found it cold to the touch.

"I'm not a Shinigami! I'm not Kira! I'm not a monster!"

"Alright…" L said it softly, soothingly as he crouched down next to Kira, like he was trying to tame a wild beast... (The thought occurred to him that perhaps he could tame Kira if he just found the right leash. Maybe after this was all over he could keep Kira as a pet…) "I'm sorry, Light-kun." Light quickly masked his surprise at L's apology but the detective saw how that tail stood on end. "I didn't think. I-Has this always happened or…?"

Light hugged his knees to his chest. "One day I just woke up this way," he said brokenly, determined to play the pity card for all it was worth. He promised his mother he wouldn't tell anyone about the family history and besides if Ryuuzaki really was L then the less he knew the better.

But then if he really is L he'll expect Light Yagami to take some interest in his condition...

"I think…" Light began experimentally "I think I'm a demon." Light spat the words as if they were poison.

Light gasped as Ryuuzaki suddenly hugged him but recovered in time to smirk evilly over his shoulder.

No. This is perfect. Even if Ryuuzaki is L himself. ESPECIALLY if Ryuuzaki is L himself… he's mine now!

I won't have to kill him! Ryuuzaki can and will repent his crimes for going against Kira. He's in my thrall-he'll give me everything if I just ask… This is my perfect victory!

Light had long dreamed of defeating the detective, of beating his worthy opponent into the cold dead ground. But this was even better-he could keep L alive as a servant for Kira, a plaything… a pet.

And he won't even realize how he's being used... Light frowned. Some glimmer of his former humanity found that idea to be very unsettling. It almost seems unfair… It's just... too easy. That's it. I'll wait to ask L to stop investigating. Honestly Light was having too much fun matching wits against him and if he took him down too fast others were sure to fill that vacuum… better the devil you know and Light was confident that L could not harm him now. His experiments indicated that once he claimed a human they were incapable of harming him even when he provoked them. All he had to do was "Ryuuzaki… Could you not tell anyone about this?"

When Ryuuzaki stared at him blankly Light continued "I mean look at me. I'm a demon! Most people will just judge on appearances. What if someone gives my name to Kira?"

Ryuuzaki locked eyes with him and said in his most reassuring and condescending tone "Light-kun, whatever you are, I'm sure you're not a demon. Such a thing does not exist. Perhaps you are some new kind of genetic mutant?" Light's eyes narrowed and his tail twitched in irritation but he refused to rise to the bait. Ryuuzaki chewed on his thumb for a moment. "Light-kun… would you let me study you? We can figure this out together." Ryuuzaki asked innocently as he gave his cutest smile.

"I thought you said you were majoring in Criminal Justice." Light reminded him.

"Oh, that's right…" L looked rather abashed.

Yep, we're just two normal college students. Nothing is going on… Light managed to suppress the "I-got-you-there" smirk but it did little good to hide his feelings since L had certainly noticed how Light had unconsciously curled his tail triumphantly and possessively around his waist.

"I'm minoring in biology. I thought maybe I'd go into forensics."

Light nodded. Yes that seemed a better fit with Ryuuzaki's "shyness."

"If you study me that would mean telling other people..."

"No you see… my grandfather is a genetics researcher. He owns a company."

"Your grandfather?" Light looked dubious. L wondered what sort of impression Watari left behind as he pressed on. "It would be completely confidential, I promise," Ryuuzaki persuaded. "I mean, look at you, you're amazing! I bet somewhere in your genome is a cure for cancer!"

Light looked deflated "For a moment there I thought you were going to say 'amazing in bed.'"

Of course Kira has an ego the size of a planet… Apparently he needed to stroke it some more before this conversation could advance any further.

"…And I thought that goes without saying," L said through gritted teeth. It was true but he was loath to admit it-alright the sex was amazing but that was kind of overshadowed by the fact that he slept with his suspect. This wasn't his finest hour.

"You'd be doing a great service to the world and should you want it you'd get credit and half of the proceeds of anything we might discover or develop from you.

Ryuuzaki is L. If I say no it looks like I have something to hide. Light sighed. "I suppose it depends what you mean by 'study.'"

"Nothing too invasive... I'm thinking draw some blood; take some X-rays, a full physical workup…"

"Done by you right?" Light abruptly cut in, "Not your grandfather." Light visibly shuddered. The young incubus could not turn off his "sex-beam" powers-that's why he avoided humans whenever possible. Light had already met Ryuuzaki's grandfather… and made a hasty retreat when the old man goosed him.

L looked surprised. "If that's what you want… I suppose I am already qualified to do simple exams." Ryuuzaki stated with faux humility.

Light nodded. "I would rather it was you."

L stared more intently as he realized what else was inherent in that request… "I wouldn't mind if you touched me." Light is infatuated with me. He likes me, he trusts me. I'm sure if I just keep asking, he'll admit to me he's Kira-he'll tell me everything.

"Thank you." Light said softly and nuzzled against him. L startled at the sudden contact.

He's still jumpy around me, despite what he says. I suppose I would be too in his position but seriously he's acting like I intend to devour him or something… Well a little late for that-I already did. The meat was saltier than potato chips but Ryuuzaki seemed to enjoy it…

Light stifled a giggle and a smug smile broke through despite his best efforts.

"What?"

"You know I'm not going to eat you, right…?" Light's voice dropped in pitch as he added in a sultry tone "That is unless you want me to."

"Why would I want…! Oh…!"

Light grinned as Ryuuzaki's cheeks burned. He was unaware of how his tail swished mischievously-L was finding reading it was easier and more accurate than a polygraph.

"You know, I like you like this."

Light looked puzzled until he noticed where Ryuuzaki was staring.

"You like my tail?" Light asked incredulously.

L blushed and nodded "I-it's just so big and long… and…" Ryuuzaki grabbed hold of the smooth, scaly tail and delicately stroked it with his long fingers.

Yes, it's better to let Light think that's why I keep watching it.

Light groaned at the touch and it soon turned into a growl. He caught Ryuuzaki's wrist and shoved it forcefully to an area that could use that treatment more.

"Stroke it!" Light demanded. Ryuuzaki obeyed. For a moment Light just let himself get lost in the awesome feeling of Ryuuzaki's soft hand moving against him.

"You like my tail…" Light repeated breathily and his face split in a dangerous leer. "Want me to show you how I can use it?"

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