Villains Ch 9 Cross Purposes
A/N: I don't own the characters of Death Note, the plot of Heroes (or the massive amount of idiot balls required to keep it running) or any of the other Marvel and DC character analogues in this fic.
***
"Look, I understand if you don't believe me," said Light over the phone, "but I met you yesterday, or at least someone who sounds just like you. He said his name was Near and that he came from the future. He had white hair and carried a sword. It sounds crazy I know..."
"Wait, I had a sword?"
Light sweat-dropped that that was the detail that caught Near's attention. "Uh, yeah... You told me to tell you that we have to save a supermodel or something bad is going to happen…"
"Which supermodel?"
"I don't know... Ryuuzaki do you know which..."
"No, I DON'T KNOW!" Beyond growled in frustration between muttered obscenities as he stalked off and slammed the bathroom door. (His plans to fuck Light senseless again thoroughly foiled by this Near person and for the first time ever Beyond wished he had Light's smiting power...)
"I'm with Rue Ryuuzaki right now. We'll figure this out, okay? Is there a number I can contact you at?"
"Wait Rue Ryuuzaki is there with you? I traveled to the future earlier and there's something he should know..."
***
After Light hung up, Beyond was standing there, arms crossed and looking smug. "Hikaru Ryuuzaki, huh? You're still using that alias..."
"Beyond..." Light began quietly "according to Near... you die. Someone steals your powers."
"Well, then..." Beyond shrugged, "guess that just means I wasn't worthy of them either... heh."
"Beyond..." Light said in a low tone, Beyond looked up in time to see Light's fist connecting with his face, "YOU ACCEPT IT! JUST LIKE THAT? THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, RYUUZAKI!" Light roared.
Beyond rubbed his cheek, "Ow." Obviously his cavalier attitude had upset his partner "Once you see with my eyes, Light, you know when your time has come." Beyond got up and hugged Light to his chest... "There's no point in trying to fight it. However... as you should be WELL aware by now..." Beyond kneed him, HARD, as he held him. Light crumpled to the floor, gasping in pain. "An eye for an eye."
***
After he got off the phone with Light, Near turned to Mello and smiled smugly. "I had a sword."
Mello quirked an eyebrow "So?" he pulled his leather jacket back and revealed the pistol currently stashed in his pants.
"Mello! Where did you get that!"
"I had it. It was my dad's... thought it might come in handy..."
Near eyed the placement of said weapon; "Do I even need to say anything?"
"Why, do you like what you see?"
Near sputtered "I meant how are you planning to on getting on board a plane with that?"
Mello recovered his piece, ignored the obvious question and thought aloud "This whole thing stinks if you ask me. Why didn't future you just come to us? Why go to this Hikaru guy?"
"Future me was probably concerned about creating a rift in the time-space continuum."
"Don't even pretend you know how this stuff works!" Mello was genius enough to know that a) nobody really does know how this stuff works and b) that Near was quoting Star Trek.
Mello sighed "Okay, in any case... first things first, what do we need to do to... what are we doing?"
"Saving the world."
"Right, that..."
***
First up was apparently "outside clothes" for Near. Mello managed to convince Near to upgrade from pajama bottoms to blue jeans... though Mello himself refused to part with the "fetish" outfit.
Next up was renting a car just for getting around the city...
"Yeah hello," Mello strutted on into the rental car place with a convincingly fake Driver's license that said he was an eighteen year old Hawaiian resident named MacLovin "we'd like to rent a..."
"A Nissan Versa™."
"What?"
"The manga says we rent a Nissan Versa™."
"How much does Rue Ryuuzaki get for Product Placement?" Mello asked incredulously.
"No clue."
***
"Hey Near..." Mello asked as he screeched the Nissan Versa ™ out of the rental lot "what happens if we get to Tokyo and it explodes?"
"If we get to Tokyo it won't explode. We'll stop it."
Mello gazed out at the road. "I sure hope you're right about that."
***
"Mello, are you sure that this is a good idea?" Near voiced his concern as they entered the run-down building.
"Hey, don't worry about it, I told you. These are my people."
Apparently next up on Mello's to-do list was to swagger on into a local hangout of the Russian mafia and start demanding things.
"Yo, need to talk to Rod Ross." The fourteen year old punk demanded of the hardened mobsters.
"Uh... Mello," Near said urgently as the thugs turned on them with guns. No this was not a good idea...
Mello's eyes narrowed. "You don't want to do that," he warned. "You see my friend here? He's very powerful!"
"Mello, what the hell are you doing?" Near demanded in a hushed tone.
"He can take you all out!"
One of the thugs walked up to Near... and with one punch knocked him out.
At that Mello's expression clearly read: Well fuck…
***
"So, Beyond..." Light began with a strained smile (trying to be polite to the guy who had kneed him in the crotch five minutes earlier) "I guess we all need to know, have you painted anything interesting lately?"
Beyond righted an over-turned stool and crouched on top of it. He looked thoughtful as he scooped up finger-fuls of jam.
"Beyond!" Light pressed.
"Now, now, I can't show my work before it goes on the market," said Beyond, being an obstinate ass. He noisily smacked his lips and erotically sucked the jam off his fingers. He was obviously still miffed about being interrupted. "That would be cheating,"
"If you're going to be like that then I won't let you use me in your comics anymore."
"They're not about you," Beyond wagged a jam-coated finger "It's the adventures of Light Asahi..."
"That's my alias..."
"...a Japanese schoolboy who picked up a cursed notebook and was possessed by the devil. It's a completely different story. Ask Ryuk there; he's sure to tell you that for you two it's the other way around."
While Beyond was speaking, Light struck out with one of Ryuk's tendrils to dramatically uncover one of the paintings.
"Oi!" Beyond declared in annoyance.
Light smirked, "Mind your surroundings," and then waited for retribution… that didn't come. Beyond simply remained on the stool and continued to eat his jam suggestively. Still wary, Light had Ryuk keep an eye on his mentor while he turned to look at the painting.
"White hair... this one must be Near... but who's the blonde girl with him? Is that the supermodel?"
*Slurp, smack.* "It's a guy."
Light did a double-take. "How can you be so sure?"
"I painted some other stuff with them... Trust me on this. Definitely male."
"You know what? I don't even want to know..." Light muttered. "But if it's a guy... then maybe that's... Mello?"
Light had spoken with Near's friend on the phone and was having trouble picturing that "tough-guy" voice with that girly frame...
The pair was standing under a blood-spattered welcome banner. They looked to be engaged in conversation with worried looks on their faces. Light uncovered another painting to see a blonde girl in Gothic Lolita fleeing from something, a look of sheer terror on her face. In another one there was a man cast in shadow wearing a trenchcoat and a baseball cap and standing over the bloody body of a girl... and then there was a picture of him... he couldn't quite make out what he was doing in the picture...
And...
He looked around and there were no more pictures... but the storyboard was incomplete.
"Where's the last panel?"
Beyond smiled, mockingly, "Sold it last week. Needed jam money. Woops."
Of course! He knew this was coming! He deliberately hid that painting from me... WHY? "Since when do you buy your jam?"
"I told you, living clean now your majesty," Beyond snarled. "This is the thanks I get..."
"What was it of?"
"Don't remember."
Light didn't expect to get an answer though Beyond just confirmed what he already knew... that he was trying to hide something from him...
"You know," Beyond said in a casual way "you'd be better off if you just dropped the matter."
"I can't! I told you! If I walk away from this I could very well be risking the entire world!"
"Who's to say that you're supposed to make a difference?" Beyond scraped the bottom of the jar. "You know Light these... ideas of yours, these delusions of grandeur... they're really going to get you in trouble some day."
Light huffed and crossed his arms. "Well, let's hear it then. Who'd you sell it to?"
Beyond gave a nightmarish grin, lips coated with jam, "A private collector-name of Daisuke Matoba."
Not even Beyond was aware that Light, his polite little poochie, had such a colorful vocabulary. He really wished he had a recording device on hand.
***
"YOU BASTARDS! YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU'RE FUCKING WITH!" Mello shouted from the curb.
"I don't think they can hear you" Near grumbled next to him.
"Well it makes me feel better." Mello winced and held his jaw "Fucking hell, Near! I got beat up because of you!"
"You got beat up for being an idiot," Near said sedately. "Anyway I got beat up too, so what's your problem?"
"They only knocked you out. They kept kicking me! Ow..."
"So," Near attempted to brush the dirt off of his white shirt "got any more bright ideas?"
"Mihael?" Near turned his head to see another big scary mobster coming right at them. "Mihael!"
"Rod?"
Rod Ross grabbed Mello in a bear hug, "It is you! Last time I saw you, you were like, this big!" the mobster declared. Near silently laughed at Mello's obvious embarrassment...
***
"Look, I'd like to apologize again on behalf of the guys," Rod said once they were inside and lounging on the zebra couch. "They didn't know who you were. They thought you were just some poser punk…. Now what is it you wanted to see me about?"
Near tried and failed to follow the conversation which took the form of some code that couldn't be understood by outsiders (not even an outsider as smart as Near).
Rod snapped his fingers and produced a briefcase full of money and presented it to Mello.
"Oh and Mihael... just a word of warning. It doesn't matter who your father was. Failure will not be tolerated..."
Mello looked defeated "Right."
Rod slapped him on the back "Knock 'em dead, kid."
***
"Mello," Near rounded on him once they were outside. "I'm not an idiot. What did you just agree to do?"
"So Near, do you want to fly coach or first class? We can afford first class now..." Mello said as he calculated their current funds in his head.
"WHAT DID YOU AGREE TO DO?" Near persisted as Mello climbed into the driver's seat of the Nissan Versa ™.
"Near... don't worry about it."
"MELLO! WHAT. DID. YOU. DO?"
Mello sighed. "While we're in Japan he wants me to take care of a little problem for him..."
Near groaned. "This isn't a problem with a name is it?"
"It's a problem that's encroaching on his territories."
"So that's a yes," Near sighed... "Mello... you just agreed to do a HIT?"
Mello looked away uncomfortably. "He wants me to bring him the head of a rival mob boss."
"Who?" Near's tone was dangerous and demanded a response...
"Daisuke Matoba."
***
A/N: DUN DUN DUN!
Just admit it Mello swords are cooler. Also, Mello's misadventures are best viewed while listening to The Offspring's "Pretty Fly for a White Guy"
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