Kira, Sweetheart Ch 3 The Pie Proclamation

[reaperlight]

A/N: I own NOTHING!

***



Light sat in the university lecture hall, more irritable than usual. He had only had an apple for breakfast (and only part of one at that as Ryuk couldn't keep his greedy claws to himself) in punishment for eating that grotesque calorie bomb yesterday and he intended to take it further by jogging during his free period. He wasn't looking forward to it. He was exhausted, he was hungry, and he was frustrated in more ways than one-on top of everything else he had had an embarrassing dream the night before that starred a certain panda-eyed detective, the aftermath of which had him waking up and changing his sheets at four in the morning. Ryuuzaki, that damn bastard! Who gave him permission to be showing up in his dreams… like that!

Outwardly, Light kept up his calm façade, letting no signs of his annoyance escape other than to occasionally click at the end of his mechanical pencil as he leaned over the desk, his jaw resting in hand as he stewed, waiting for the lecture to begin.

What the hell WAS that yesterday, anyway? L kissing him? But then saying it was a mistake?

No, HE should just take a page from Ryuuzaki's book and call it a mistake, forget about it. Pretend it didn't happen. Ryuuzaki was… STILL IS L, Kira's enemy. But… then Ryuuzaki was… a victim.

Didn't he swear to protect the innocent?

L isn't innocent. He challenged me.

And Ryuuzaki was fun to talk to. Ryuuzaki could be… nice, especially when he had him squirming beneath…

Light promptly ended that dangerous line of thought.

Sure, maybe he felt a bit sorry for the guy (I said end this dangerous line of thought, end it I say!) but L had made it clear in no uncertain terms he wanted Kira, him, dead...

Light attempted to banish the renewed dream images of how he would take L's scarred body and leave marks of his own and…

And dammit he wasn't gay! He just wasn't interested in girls... because he had better things to do! And he had only kissed L back to gain control. Not because he had enjoyed it. No, not at all…

Not…

Light's hand passed over his eyes for a moment as denying the implications of his responses didn't seem to be working this time.

This was L's fault. What with that long dark hair and slender frame and the way he'd curled his toes cutely into chair cushions as he'd lick the frosting off a doughnut with that talented tongue of his that tasted so nice…

ARRRRGH!

That was just it. L was… girly and confusing. His habits arousing protective instincts even in his enemies... Yeah, that must be it! Well played, Ryuuga. Well played. But it won't save you. L is still Kira's enemy. And as if I'd ever let something as stupid as feelings take priority over the good of the world. How SELFISH would that be?

Sure Ryuuzaki was… likeable and pitiable. But he was still dangerous, a thorn in his side. (Light sucked in a breath as he remembered the feeling of L grinding against him when he had him pinned against the wall moving against him… that was…!)

NO! L has to die! (However if he could he'd make it as painless as possible.)

Hmm… this he was still on that dangerous line of thought. Perhaps he should just clear his mind for now. Just… forget about L for the moment and continue to play ordinary college student…

Light startled as "Hideki Ryuuga" the Touhou student was suddenly there, crouching down on top of the seat next to him just before the bell announced class had begun.

The damn bastard! Always catching him off guard! And what the hell was he doing out here anyway? It wasn't safe!

L passed him a coded message in note form asking (or rather demanding) that Light meet him during his free period. Dammit. There went his jogging plans. Maybe if he skipped lunch he could make up for it...

L watched as Light responded in the same code after studying it for a moment. (It was a code L had devised himself and it was so complex that whole agencies of analysts and code-breakers couldn't crack it... Light fired back almost immediately) "What are you even doing here? It's not safe! The Second Kira..."

"No one but you knows me as L," L replied just as swiftly. Like any good code he was changing the rules as he went. L was impressed that Light still managed to follow. "It should be perfectly safe. Besides we need to talk about yesterday. About us."

"Us?" Light was so startled he spoke aloud, drawing the quiet wrath of the lecturing college professor with a God complex.

"Yagami-kun."

"Yes, sir?"

"Can you please give the answer to number twenty two?"

Light promptly gave the correct answer "Its pi squared," and flashed a charming me-and-my-friend-were-most-definitely-paying-attention smile.

The professor nodded having confirmed for the moment that the "eccentric geniuses" were somehow paying attention to his all-important words and moved on.

L's stomach grumbled... Pie squared. He could definitely go for that. One cherry and one strawberry… or maybe one could be strawberry rhubarb. Hmmm… pie cubed would be even better. See? He hadn't had ANY sugar since the stolen cake kiss yesterday and it was already beginning to affect his judgment and reasoning abilities, to say nothing of his and his ability to stay conscious. Light poked L near the end of the lecture with the tip of his mechanical pencil and L jolted awake (fortunately when the crotchety professor's attention was focused elsewhere.) L had to suppress a groan of disappointment upon waking. He had dreamed he'd died and gone to Candyland.

00000

As Light and L made their way down over to Light's favorite coffee shop L became aware of and nervous about how closely they walked together. The eccentric detective usually invaded people's personal bubbles without a second thought -it was just one of his quirks and it usually made a great intimidation tactic-but that was before he accidentally instigated that the day before. Light didn't seem the least bit intimidated now. If anything, L realized with irritation, Light seemed to be shooting him pitying glances. The detective knew that Kira has a strong, though warped, sense of justice. Perhaps after what happened yesterday Kira was no longer sure where L fit into his worldview.

L tried to fall back a bit, and put a bit more distance between them but Light seemed to almost… chase him …like a lost puppy. It was an amusing image-L cracked a rare smile as he watched his suspect but then seemed to realize what he was doing. He had to take this seriously. This was Kira after all and anything could tip the scales of their game.

L again went over in his head what happened the day before. Of course L knew what happened but he also had to take into account how Light would have perceived the same events. I accidentally came onto Light… strongly. Then he came on to me. I rejected him… The detective bit his thumb as he realized …and now he sees that as a challenge.

L wondered if perhaps Light would have made some excuse to meet with him even if he hadn't demanded his attention this afternoon-the younger man kept shooting him those furtive glances, being almost demure… It would seem he was at least a bit… infatuated.

Dammit.

Why couldn't Light just pretend it didn't happen? L feared he had created a monster… again. Before Kira was no doubt just obsessed with killing him but no… he had to go make it sexual in nature! L was admittedly a bit flustered about the whole situation. Pretending to be friends was difficult enough! Nevertheless he planned to make use of Light's little crush-L would sooner create another obsessed stalker than face Watari's punishment. (L quickly dispelled a sudden and illogical thought that if it was Light stalking him then perhaps he wouldn't mind terribly…)

The waitress approached the unlikely duo soon after they sat down at their usual booth.

"Yes, we'll have a cherry pie, a strawberry rhubarb pie, and an apple pie please." L announced.

"A slice of each?" Asked the poor waitress.

"No, whole pies, please," L insisted. "Oh and a cup of coffee."

"Glad you remembered me, Ryuuzaki." Light gave a sigh and checked his watch. He had to be at his next class in half an hour.

"Oh no, Light-kun. The coffee is mine. The pies are for you." L informed his suspect-making sure that he was perfectly clear on that subject because, of course, Watari had means of monitoring them even here. For starters, his cell phone was bugged so that Watari could hear everything. L couldn't get rid of it either-the old man would know if he ditched it and of course if L tried to make a run for it Watari would find him via the subcutaneous tracking device. Besides, making a run for it was tantamount to suicide anyway-L knew he'd never survive out there-his social and survival skills were next to non-existent and there were far too many people out there that wanted him dead. Besides he wouldn't get far-Watari would be sure to catch him and inflict THE PUNISHMENT (the detective swallowed a whimper at the very thought.)

Meanwhile Light, predictably, exploded over L's pie proclamation.

"WHAT? Ryuuzaki… I don't eat sweets!" Light watched in confused indignation as L shushed him and got out a sheet of paper. (A trickle of sweat ran down Light's temple. Ever since he found the Death Note Light had had to hide having an "irrational" fear of notebook paper, or more specifically, of signing his own name.) The teen watched intently as L wrote, again in code: "Not true. You were eating chocolate cake yesterday."

Light wondered why L was bothering with passing notes again-their booth was fairly private and he doubted anyone was going to care about what they talked about here. If anything passing notes would make them more conspicuous…

Light sighed, figuring Ryuuzaki was being paranoid as usual or this was another of his tests, and so he just played along, taking the note from the detective and answering in the same code: "That was for Yumi, Aizawa's daughter's, birthday. It was a social obligation I couldn't get out of. I brought it to work because I know how much you like sweets and I was hoping…"

"…That I'd eat it." L wrote quickly, demonstrating the amazing ability to interrupt even when communicating in a written medium.

"….to share it with you." Light finished writing his sentence, feigning confusion at L's "most baseless" accusation. Just then the waitress returned with their order. Light glared at L and grabbed the coffee.

L frowned. "That's my coffee, Light-kun."

"No, I thought we already established this. I don't eat sweets. Therefore the pies are yours, the coffee is mine." The teen hissed. In response the detective looked up at him from his strange crouch with those adorable large black eyes.

L isn't adorable, he's dangerous! Light chastised himself.

"You steal from me and would deny my generous gifts, Light-kun? I didn't think even Kira would stoop so low."

Light frowned. Ryuuzaki had the nerve to sound hurt.

If I accept the pie... the pies does that make me look like Kira? If I reject L's generous gift will that also make me look like Kira? He's screwing with me. Obviously! I don't know what his game is but I need to figure it out quickly…

The killer sighed. "Could we get another coffee, please?" he called after the hapless waitress before turning his attention back to Ryuuzaki. "Look… if it means that much to you. I'll get a to-go box. I'll eat them later.

"No you won't," the detective's gaze turned back into that blank, all-knowing stare. "You'll dispose of them or foist them off on other people."

Light sighed again. "Someone will eat them later. I assure you that the thoughtfulness of your gift is most appreciated."

"But I want Light-kun to eat them now." L pouted, looking quite put out.

"Ryuuzaki, I don't like sweets."

"It would make me very happy, Light-kun." As L said this he wrote again in code: "If you eat the pies I'll let you do perverted things to me."

When Light saw this he nearly choked on his coffee "Ryuuzaki!" Light gaped at the detective wondering if he was serious (and if so, was he mental?) "I am beyond offended that you would think so low of me as to-"

Light was taken by surprise as the detective abruptly launched himself across the table (nearly putting a knee in the strawberry-rhubarb pie). L urgently covered Light's mouth with his hand, flashed him a pleading look and tapped the paper again.

Light was thrown by L's reaction. Perhaps someone was listening in on their conversation and L didn't want them to get any ideas about the two of them having a nonexistent relationship. Not that the detective's current actions would dissuade anyone observing them from coming to that conclusion-L was practically sitting in his lap!

Light sighed and again picked up the pen. The pen as usual glinted like the cold steel of a sword in his hand. Ironic really, the same pen he used to judge as Kira was now being put to use to consort with the enemy… er… or rather to win his trust.

"You made it clear yesterday that you weren't ready to do "perverted things." Light scratched in code on the paper, "So what's this really about?"

When L didn't answer Light locked eyes with L in one of their epic stare-offs.

"Ryuuzaki- Mrph!" Light sputtered indignantly when the detective executed a swift sneak attack, forcefully shoving a forkful of strawberry-rhubarb pie into his mouth. He really should have seen that coming. Light resentfully swallowed down the overly-sweet and tangy bite of pie and glared murderously at the detective but before he could say anything Ryuuzaki had again claimed his mouth with his.

Dammit, why does this man have to be so irritating!

Light's glare softened to irritation and bemusement as Ryuuzaki's mouth moved against his.

What the hell does he think he's doing? He jumps me again right after I'm forced to eat sweets. Is this what it takes for him to get off or something? Light groaned as Ryuuzaki's tongue was once again moving against his. …This is kind of nice though… FOCUS! The detective shifted in his lap, trying to pin Light with his body… no, that wouldn't do. Light was about to take charge of the situation when a sudden, hideous, shrieking sound rudely invaded his eardrums. Light's lust-hooded eyes suddenly snapped open when he caught sight of a small blonde girl lunging at them with a steak knife.

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