Ride On Part 2
Title: Ride On (Part 2 of 2)
Author: dracoslovebunny
Pairing: DooSeung
Status: Oneshot
Genre: AU, Romance
Rating: R
Warnings: Slash (not graphic), past abuse/death, underage drinking
Word count: 3,926
Summary: In which Hyunseung is a wanderer, and Doojoon finds himself wandering too.
A/N: Written as part 2 of the final installment of my ALL-PAIRINGS 15-fic self-challenge. Each fic is a standalone (not part of the same storyline as the others). Fics are prompted by A Little Left of Logical. Title is the prompt.
Previous Installments:
Accident/KiWoon // Imitation of Life/JunWoon // Passing Flame/JunSeung // The Moment/KiSeob // Crave/DooKwang // Massage/DooWoon // Burn/KiSeung // Snack/DongSeob // Letters from Nowhere/2Jun // Lie to Me/JunKwang // A Little Curious/HyunWoon // After/JunSeob // Dare/DooSeob // Innocence/HyunSeob // Ride On (Part 1)/DooSeung
Hyunseung woke the next morning with a pounding in his head from the alcohol and an ache in his hips from having slept sitting in Doojoon's lap. He lifted his head slowly, wiping away a trickle of drool from the corner of his mouth. As soon as he moved, Doojoon's eyes opened, his gaze unfocused.
"Good morning," Doojoon spoke with some sarcasm.
Hyunseung closed his eyes and placed his palms across his face. "My head is fucking killing me," he complained as quietly as possible. Slowly, he crawled out of Doojoon's lap and lay down on the bed, burying his head in the pillows.
"We can pick up some medicine when we get breakfast," Doojoon told him, managing his way into the bathroom.
"Let's just sleep," Hyunseung suggested instead.
"No way, we had a whole day off yesterday. We're hitting the road."
"Well, you go ahead then. I'm staying here and sleeping." Suddenly, there was a hand on his arm tugging him toward the edge of the bed. "What the hell?" Looking up from the pillows, he saw Doojoon with a toothbrush hanging from his mouth. He pulled his arm back to himself. "Alright, alright, I'm up." He dragged himself from the bed and headed for the bathroom to brush his teeth as well. "Never drinking again," he said around his toothbrush a few moments later.
Doojoon rejoined him in the bathroom, spitting his toothpaste into the sink. "We all have those mornings."
Their eyes caught in the mirror, both looking hungover and a little hesitant after everything that had been said the night before. But as long as Doojoon seemed satisfied not bringing any of it up, Hyunseung thought to himself as he looked away, he'd follow the man's lead. He rinsed his mouth and turned to pull on a pair of jeans.
~~~~~~~~~~
Hyunseung thought that he preferred Portland over Seattle when they'd arrived in the city a few hours later. Not that there was anything wrong with Seattle in particular, but leaving Portland - and Oregon altogether - had been the first time in a long time Hyunseung had actually felt like he was leaving anything behind. Portland had brought with it the first day of fun Hyunseung could remember having had in years, and as much as he hated to admit it, it had also brought him a feeling of closeness with another person that he had once feared he would never feel, and now feared he would never get the opportunity to feel again. He considered how hard it would be to talk Doojoon into picking up some liquor later that evening, to try to recreate some of the previous night's events.
Hyunseung hadn't gotten that same brand-new-start feeling he usually got from state to state when they'd crossed the border into Washington soon into their trip that morning, and now, three hours north of the Oregon-Washington border, standing in a clothes store in a mall in Seattle that seemed way too large to be practical, he could only hope that wherever they went next was better than this.
"Are you gonna try anything on?" Doojoon asked as he browsed through a rack of shirts.
"I haven't looked at a single price tag and I can already tell you I can't afford anything in here."
"I didn't ask if you were going to buy something, I asked if you would try anything on."
"What would be the point?"
"I don't know, I always kind of thought trying out new outfits was fun." He pulled a red and yellow long-sleeved shirt from the rack and held it out to Hyunseung. "Come on, what have you got to lose?"
Hyunseung eyed the shirt, then Doojoon. "If I'm gonna play along, then I'm definitely not trying on something that gaudy."
"Fine, then, show me what you'd wear if you had the money. Let me see how Hyunseung dresses up."
Turning to a rack closer to himself, Hyunseung began browsing. After awhile, he found he was less tempted to turn over the price tag on every item, instead letting himself select pieces based on their appearance and how they would look on him. Hyunseung had never been big on his physical appearance, having never had the means to be, but he'd sometimes looked in envy at the richer kids who could wear what they wanted in their own style, regardless of what was cheap, and never wearing anything second-hand. As he pulled items off the racks, steadily traveling around the store to pick only the best-looking articles, Hyunseung found that he really had a taste for these clothes and for deciding how they would match and wear best. He even found himself selecting a couple items that would look good on Doojoon as well.
After handing off the few pieces he'd chosen for Doojoon, Hyunseung made his way into the fitting room. "I want a show," he heard Doojoon tell him through the door as he changed into his first outfit. It wasn't that different from what he usually wore - just jeans and a t-shirt - but the fit was better, the material was nicer, and the look was significantly more appealing than his usual slightly-stained and threadbare garments. He looked at himself in the mirror for a long time before finally stepping out of the fitting room to show Doojoon what he'd chosen.
"Casual," Doojoon remarked. "Not bad. But not that great either. Come on, didn't you pick anything a little flashier?"
With a scoff, Hyunseung headed back into the fitting room to try on something else. This time when he stepped out, he was in a button-up and slacks, holding a suit jacket over his shoulder. "Is this better?" he asked Doojoon, turning around so the man could see it from the back as well. When he turned back, he could see appreciation in Doojoon's expression.
"It's a step in the right direction." He watched Doojoon give him a once-over and he tried not to feel like some kind of walking, talking mannequin. Doojoon approached him and smoothed his shirt at his sides. "You look good all cleaned up like this." Doojoon smiled broadly. "Now show me more."
"Demanding..." Hyunseung muttered as he reentered the fitting room to show Doojoon another outfit. After pulling on a white v-neck shirt and a black leather jacket, Hyunseung slipped into the black pants he'd chosen, then stopped and called through the door, "Um, Doojoon... I think this brand's sizes run small."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean it's..." Hyunseung fussed with the zipper and clasp, managing to close them. "They're not... These pants. They're not, like, regular pants."
"What are you talking about?" Doojoon sounded bewildered.
"They're not normal, they're - oh my god, I'll just show you what I mean." Hyunseung stepped out of the fitting room, at first taking small steps, sure he would damage the tight pants or himself if he moved his legs too much but quickly discovering that he was unexpectedly comfortable in them. They hugged his lower body completely, conforming to him. He ran his hands past his thighs, stating, "Oh, hey, they're actually not that bad." When Doojoon didn't reply, Hyunseung looked up at him to see that he was openly staring. "Hey, my eyes are up here," he commented facetiously.
Doojoon pulled his gaze away from Hyunseung's lower body. "Oh," he replied blandly. "They're... those are good."
Hyunseung couldn't resist a smirk. "You think so?" he asked, turning and bending one knee just a bit to show Doojoon the back.
Doojoon cleared his throat and answered, "Yeah. Hey, you didn't happen to pick up anything similar to those, did you? I think I'll need to see how you look in those pairs, too."
"You're so perverted," Hyunseung told him as he turned forward again.
"Woah, I'm not the one who picked those off the rack, that was all you."
"Well, I didn't think they'd look like this," Hyunseung defended.
"I'm glad they do," Doojoon returned.
"You're awful." Hyunseung stepped back into the fitting room.
Through the door, Doojoon stated, "All your outfits had better look that good from here on out."
~~~~~~~~~~
Doojoon and Hyunseung were sitting in the food court eating lunch when an assistant from the clothes store approached Doojoon with three bags. Doojoon thanked the woman as he took the bags.
"What's all that?" Hyunseung asked around the bite of turkey sandwich in his mouth.
"Gifts for a friend."
"You didn't just grab them while we were there?"
"I didn't want him to see me getting them."
"What do you mean, was your friend at the - oh." Hyunseung pulled a face. "Doojoon, you didn't."
Doojoon looked through one of the bags and pulled the tight-fitting black pants halfway out to show Hyunseung. "I had them throw in an extra pair of these ones. I hope you don't mind."
"Mind?" Hyunseung put a hand to his forehead. "Doojoon, why would you do this?"
"You needed a few things, and don't pretend you didn't."
"What, am I some kind of charity case to you? You think I need you to buy my clothes for me?"
"Wow, you're being pretty melodramatic about a gift."
"Those pants alone were over a hundred dollars!" Hyunseung took the bag and looked through it. "What the hell, did you buy everything I tried on?" He moved onto another bag, shuffling through its contents.
"For the most part, plus a couple other things thrown in that I thought you'd like."
"Doojoon..."
"Will you just accept this gift?"
Hyunseung looked at Doojoon for a long moment, then back and the bags of clothes. "I can't just accept these for free."
Doojoon considered his statement, then replied, "Fine, you'll owe me something. A favor."
"What kind of favor?"
"I don't know yet, but I'll come up with something."
Hyunseung shook his head but felt like turning down a gift like this would be a dull move on his part, so he let out a quiet, "Thank you," and placed the bags aside to finish his lunch.
~~~~~~~~~~
They left Seattle heading east ("Much further north and we'll be in Canada," Doojoon had stated before they'd set off.) and by eight that night they were crossing into Montana. Hyunseung was neither upset about leaving Washington nor particularly excited about entering Montana. With each passing state and each day spent with Doojoon, Hyunseung felt a little less eager to travel, and a little more excited about the prospect of finding their next motel and settling in for the night. While he'd never thought he would become used to life on the road, he didn't think he would find something he enjoyed so much more.
Throughout the ride, Doojoon's hand slipped casually into his own from time to time, his grip light and allowing Hyunseung to pull away if he chose to, but Hyunseung never did. He enjoyed the feeling of a warm hand in his own, fingers linked. Their conversation was sparse, most of the ride filled with soft music from the radio instead, but unlike their first day together, the silence between them was comfortable.
When Doojoon finally pulled off the highway and found a motel, sometime past midnight in some small town Hyunseung had never heard of, Hyunseung's eyes had grown heavy and he was looking forward to a good night's rest. But after they grabbed their bags and settled into their room, Doojoon took Hyunseung by the waist and kissed him slowly, and suddenly Hyunseung wasn't tired anymore.
Hyunseung led Doojoon to the bed. They sank onto the mattress together, limbs tangling as they went, and this time when Doojoon tried to resist Hyunseung's advances, Hyunseung ignored him and did as he pleased. It wasn't long before Doojoon stopped protesting, letting Hyunseung touch him in whatever way he desired. And for the first time, as Hyunseung steadily allowed himself to be stripped of his clothes, he didn't mind the lingering looks his scarred torso earned him, and he let Dojoon's eyes and hands explore every inch of him without argument.
Hyunseung had become adept at giving men pleasure, but that night he discovered that pleasure for himself as Doojoon gave more than he took in an eager attempt to win not just Hyunseung's body but so much more that Hyunseung didn't even know he had to give until he was already giving it. Hours slipped by unnoticed by Hyunseung as he found himself lost in the embrace and tender movements of the only man who had ever breached his defenses.
In the early hours of the morning, as they lay exhausted and curled in each other's arms, Doojoon murmured against Hyunseung's hair, "I want to ask you for that favor now."
Hyunseung traced lines across Doojoon's chest with his fingertips in no particular order and asked, "Yeah, what's that?"
"When we get up in the morning, I'm going to head back to California. I want you to come along for the ride. I know that's a lot of backtracking for you, but maybe what youre looking for will be somewhere along the way."
Hyunseung's hand stopped its movements. There had been many times in his month on the road when Hyunseung had found himself somewhere he'd visited previously. It was always kind of a letdown, feeling as though all of his time spent traveling had been wasted on returning to exactly where he'd been before. But he owed Doojoon. And for some reason, he didn't get that let-down feeling when he thought about returning to California with Doojoon. "Alright," he agreed quietly, lacing his fingers through Doojoon's and squeezing his hand.
Lips met his own in a soft and lingering caress. When Doojoon pulled away, he replied, "Thank you."
~~~~~~~~~~
On their fifth day traveling together, Hyuseung saw a side of Doojoon he hadn't seen before. He seemed nervous and a little agitated as they drove on, and he drove faster than usual as though determined to reach California in record time.
Knowing he would be staying with Doojoon until they reached California together, Hyunseung didn't spare much attention for Idaho as they passed through around midmorning and grabbed a bite to eat, or for Utah which was for all intents and purposes simply a duplicate of Idaho as far as he could tell. At a carhop place somewhere in Utah closer to Arizona than Idaho, they had dinner in the car, and Hyunseung turned to Doojoon to ask with some worry, "Why are you all wound up?"
Doojoon heaved a sigh and seemed to ignore the question for some time as he worked on finishing his dinner. Then, eventually, he told Hyunseung, "By this time tomorrow I'll be back in Oceanside. Tomorrow night I'll have dinner in my apatment and sleep in my bed. Where will you be?"
Hyunseung shrugged. "I don't know. I don't usually plan that far ahead."
"God damnit, Hyunseung," Doojoon muttered, hitting the heel of his hand against the steering wheel. "See? This is why I'm wound up. I have a job I have to get back to, and people I need to see. I have to go back and do all the things I usually do and pretend like there's not someone, somewhere hitching rides on the side of the road and praying that he has enough food to survive and a place to sleep and that he doesn't get killed by the next guy that picks him up. Someone that I know. Someone that I fucking care about."
"There you go again with that, like you know me or something. Doojoon, you met me less than a week ago. What did you think this was? How did you possibly think this would end?"
"I don't know," Doojoon practically yelled. Lowering his voice, he continued, "But I didn't think I'd even care how it ended. Give a guy a ride, give him somewhere to rest his head for a night, help him out a little, be on my way. Not this."
"Not this what? You did that, all of it, and you did it a few times. But that's all it is. I'm just a guy you helped out once upon a time, and it doesn't have to be any more meaningful than that."
"It already is." Doojoon took Hyunseung's hand in his own. He looked like he wanted to say more, but after a time Hyunseung realized he wasn't going to continue. When one of the carhops returned to their car, Doojoon paid the girl, and they left the drive-in cafe to find their way back to the highway.
~~~~~~~~~~
Doojoon traced a hand lazily over Hyunseung's torso in a motel twenty miles outside of Las Vegas. Hyunseung did his best not to flinch from the touch, but even after the previous night, he still wasn't fully comfortable with Doojoon seeing something he kept so hidden.
"Where did you get these?" Doojoon asked again as his hand found one of Hyunseung's scars, sounding not just interested but a little concerned as well.
Hyunseung sat up, and Doojoon's hand fell away from his skin. Leaning his elbows on his knees, he turned his head and stared at the bathroom door. "My father used to cut me as a punishment when I was a kid. He one of those knives you use for hunting, you know, a buck knife. There wasn't much my mother could do to stop him, since he used to cut her, too, and worse I'm sure. It started before I could even remember. But my mother stopped him when I was ten."
"You guys moved away from him?" Doojoon asked.
"No." Hyunseung repositioned himself a bit. "My mother killed him." Having never actually said those words aloud, Hyunseung felt surprisingly little about them. He supposed it was some kind of psychological defense mechanism or something, from what he could recall of the few years of therapy he'd been required to attend between the ages of ten and twelve.
"Oh, my god, I'm sorry, I didn't -"
"No, it's fine. I guess I'd be curious about something like that too; I don't blame you for asking." He turned back to face Doojoon. "She's still serving her sentence. I've been in the foster system ever since. Now, what about you? What's your story?"
Doojoon shook his head. "I don't really have one. I grew up with well-off parents that were a little bit more focused on their work instead of me than I would have preferred but still found time to spend with me. I graduated college last year and got handed a position in my father's company, but he wouldn't have let me work for him if I didn't actually have the ability to maintain my position." He rubbed his arms. "I took off on this trip to try to clear my head. My parents have a girl they are kind of encouraging me to eventually marry, though they'd never force me to do something like that against my will, and I have to figure out how to come out to them without it blowing up in my face and resulting in me losing my job."
"Are they gonna hate you?" Hyunseung asked.
"My mother won't," Doojoon replied with a half-shrug. "My father's a little old-fashioned, though. It could go either way with him. I hope he doesn't hate me."
"I hope so, too."
"Either way, I'll survive." Doojoon pulled Hyunseung toward himself. Hyunseung climbed into his lap, burying his face against Doojoon's neck. With arms wrapped around his waist, Hyunseung reflected that it felt good to have someone know about his past and to know about someone's past and to not really care all that much that they knew just as long as it meant they didn't go running in the other direction.
~~~~~~~~~~
It was nine in the morning when Doojoon drove them over the Nevada-California border, but he drove another four hours before stopping. They'd reached Oceanside, the place Doojoon had said he was from, and Hyunseung was a little surprised that Doojoon had taken him all the way there. He had kind of planned on parting ways near the border, or perhaps somewhere near Santa Ana or possibly Fullerton, where they'd first met. Instead, when they'd reached Rancho Cucamonga Doojoon had headed south instead of west, and now they were parked in front of a ritzy-looking apartment building in Oceanside that Hyunseung felt out of place even looking at.
"Come up for lunch," Doojoon instructed without even a hint of a request in his voice. He got out of the car and waited for Hyunseung, who finally followed his lead and timidly trailed behind him into the building.
Doojoon's apartment on the third floor, when they reached it, took Hyunseung's breath away. It was spacious, immaculately clean, and professionally decorated. It looked like something out of a magazine. Hyunseung didn't want to touch anything, but eventually took a seat at the dining room table at Doojoon's urging. From his position, he got to watch Doojoon cooking, preparing pasta and a red sauce made from scratch. He did his best not to comment on the man's pink frilly apron.
They ate lunch accompanied by light conversation, and Hyunseung did his best to choke down the food. It was delicious and any other time he would have been eating with gusto, but the meal had an air of finality to him. After he finished, he would leave, probably on his own or possibly getting a ride from Doojoon to somewhere closer to the highway, and that would be that. He would never see Doojoon again.
"Do you cook at all?" Doojoon asked him as they both played with the last few bites of their lunch, neither willing to finish.
"I used to cook for myself all the time. I wasn't bad."
"Well, then, maybe you can stick around and make me something to eat tonight."
"That won't leave me much time to figure out a place to sleep."
"I could help you out with that."
"What, you mean like have me stay the night?"
Doojoon rubbed the back of his neck. "Maybe not just the night."
Hyunseung stared at his mostly empty plate. "You mean like... two nights?"
Doojoon ate another bite of his pasta before telling Hyunseung, "I have another favor to ask you. I know you already paid me back, but if you do this I'll owe you one."
"What's up?" Hyunseung asked, lifting his eyes from his plate to Doojoon's face.
"I want to ask you to stay here. Maybe not, you know, permanently, but for awhile. Until you can figure out more than just the next twenty-four hours at a time."
"Oh." Hyunseung was still playing with his food. He really didn't know how to respond. Doojoon had phrased it as though he would be doing some great favor for Doojoon, but Hyunseung wasn't foolish enough to actually believe that.
"I know it's asking for a lot, since you're more used to life on the road and going it alone," Doojoon added as he stood from his seat and took Hyunseung by the hands to stand him up as well, "but I'd like to offer you a home here."
Hyunseung looked around the giant apartment from where he stood. The place felt too big and too cold. It was intimidating, and Doojoon's request felt overwhelming. There was no way he could accept, Doojoon must have known that. They were practically strangers. Besides, he had no way of contributing to the household, at least until the following autumn when he turned 18 and could get a job.
Despite all of his thoughts, though, the moment Doojoon wrapped his arms aound Hyunseung's waist, all Hyunseung could think about was the possibility of staying with him, of being able to feel those arms around him every day and having the security of a home living with someone who had an interest in his well-being. He felt choked up and suddenly couldn't recall a single good reason not to stay so, turning his head to burrow against Doojoon's neck, he answered, "Alright."
~끝~
Author: dracoslovebunny
Pairing: DooSeung
Status: Oneshot
Genre: AU, Romance
Rating: R
Warnings: Slash (not graphic), past abuse/death, underage drinking
Word count: 3,926
Summary: In which Hyunseung is a wanderer, and Doojoon finds himself wandering too.
A/N: Written as part 2 of the final installment of my ALL-PAIRINGS 15-fic self-challenge. Each fic is a standalone (not part of the same storyline as the others). Fics are prompted by A Little Left of Logical. Title is the prompt.
Previous Installments:
Accident/KiWoon // Imitation of Life/JunWoon // Passing Flame/JunSeung // The Moment/KiSeob // Crave/DooKwang // Massage/DooWoon // Burn/KiSeung // Snack/DongSeob // Letters from Nowhere/2Jun // Lie to Me/JunKwang // A Little Curious/HyunWoon // After/JunSeob // Dare/DooSeob // Innocence/HyunSeob // Ride On (Part 1)/DooSeung
Hyunseung woke the next morning with a pounding in his head from the alcohol and an ache in his hips from having slept sitting in Doojoon's lap. He lifted his head slowly, wiping away a trickle of drool from the corner of his mouth. As soon as he moved, Doojoon's eyes opened, his gaze unfocused.
"Good morning," Doojoon spoke with some sarcasm.
Hyunseung closed his eyes and placed his palms across his face. "My head is fucking killing me," he complained as quietly as possible. Slowly, he crawled out of Doojoon's lap and lay down on the bed, burying his head in the pillows.
"We can pick up some medicine when we get breakfast," Doojoon told him, managing his way into the bathroom.
"Let's just sleep," Hyunseung suggested instead.
"No way, we had a whole day off yesterday. We're hitting the road."
"Well, you go ahead then. I'm staying here and sleeping." Suddenly, there was a hand on his arm tugging him toward the edge of the bed. "What the hell?" Looking up from the pillows, he saw Doojoon with a toothbrush hanging from his mouth. He pulled his arm back to himself. "Alright, alright, I'm up." He dragged himself from the bed and headed for the bathroom to brush his teeth as well. "Never drinking again," he said around his toothbrush a few moments later.
Doojoon rejoined him in the bathroom, spitting his toothpaste into the sink. "We all have those mornings."
Their eyes caught in the mirror, both looking hungover and a little hesitant after everything that had been said the night before. But as long as Doojoon seemed satisfied not bringing any of it up, Hyunseung thought to himself as he looked away, he'd follow the man's lead. He rinsed his mouth and turned to pull on a pair of jeans.
~~~~~~~~~~
Hyunseung thought that he preferred Portland over Seattle when they'd arrived in the city a few hours later. Not that there was anything wrong with Seattle in particular, but leaving Portland - and Oregon altogether - had been the first time in a long time Hyunseung had actually felt like he was leaving anything behind. Portland had brought with it the first day of fun Hyunseung could remember having had in years, and as much as he hated to admit it, it had also brought him a feeling of closeness with another person that he had once feared he would never feel, and now feared he would never get the opportunity to feel again. He considered how hard it would be to talk Doojoon into picking up some liquor later that evening, to try to recreate some of the previous night's events.
Hyunseung hadn't gotten that same brand-new-start feeling he usually got from state to state when they'd crossed the border into Washington soon into their trip that morning, and now, three hours north of the Oregon-Washington border, standing in a clothes store in a mall in Seattle that seemed way too large to be practical, he could only hope that wherever they went next was better than this.
"Are you gonna try anything on?" Doojoon asked as he browsed through a rack of shirts.
"I haven't looked at a single price tag and I can already tell you I can't afford anything in here."
"I didn't ask if you were going to buy something, I asked if you would try anything on."
"What would be the point?"
"I don't know, I always kind of thought trying out new outfits was fun." He pulled a red and yellow long-sleeved shirt from the rack and held it out to Hyunseung. "Come on, what have you got to lose?"
Hyunseung eyed the shirt, then Doojoon. "If I'm gonna play along, then I'm definitely not trying on something that gaudy."
"Fine, then, show me what you'd wear if you had the money. Let me see how Hyunseung dresses up."
Turning to a rack closer to himself, Hyunseung began browsing. After awhile, he found he was less tempted to turn over the price tag on every item, instead letting himself select pieces based on their appearance and how they would look on him. Hyunseung had never been big on his physical appearance, having never had the means to be, but he'd sometimes looked in envy at the richer kids who could wear what they wanted in their own style, regardless of what was cheap, and never wearing anything second-hand. As he pulled items off the racks, steadily traveling around the store to pick only the best-looking articles, Hyunseung found that he really had a taste for these clothes and for deciding how they would match and wear best. He even found himself selecting a couple items that would look good on Doojoon as well.
After handing off the few pieces he'd chosen for Doojoon, Hyunseung made his way into the fitting room. "I want a show," he heard Doojoon tell him through the door as he changed into his first outfit. It wasn't that different from what he usually wore - just jeans and a t-shirt - but the fit was better, the material was nicer, and the look was significantly more appealing than his usual slightly-stained and threadbare garments. He looked at himself in the mirror for a long time before finally stepping out of the fitting room to show Doojoon what he'd chosen.
"Casual," Doojoon remarked. "Not bad. But not that great either. Come on, didn't you pick anything a little flashier?"
With a scoff, Hyunseung headed back into the fitting room to try on something else. This time when he stepped out, he was in a button-up and slacks, holding a suit jacket over his shoulder. "Is this better?" he asked Doojoon, turning around so the man could see it from the back as well. When he turned back, he could see appreciation in Doojoon's expression.
"It's a step in the right direction." He watched Doojoon give him a once-over and he tried not to feel like some kind of walking, talking mannequin. Doojoon approached him and smoothed his shirt at his sides. "You look good all cleaned up like this." Doojoon smiled broadly. "Now show me more."
"Demanding..." Hyunseung muttered as he reentered the fitting room to show Doojoon another outfit. After pulling on a white v-neck shirt and a black leather jacket, Hyunseung slipped into the black pants he'd chosen, then stopped and called through the door, "Um, Doojoon... I think this brand's sizes run small."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean it's..." Hyunseung fussed with the zipper and clasp, managing to close them. "They're not... These pants. They're not, like, regular pants."
"What are you talking about?" Doojoon sounded bewildered.
"They're not normal, they're - oh my god, I'll just show you what I mean." Hyunseung stepped out of the fitting room, at first taking small steps, sure he would damage the tight pants or himself if he moved his legs too much but quickly discovering that he was unexpectedly comfortable in them. They hugged his lower body completely, conforming to him. He ran his hands past his thighs, stating, "Oh, hey, they're actually not that bad." When Doojoon didn't reply, Hyunseung looked up at him to see that he was openly staring. "Hey, my eyes are up here," he commented facetiously.
Doojoon pulled his gaze away from Hyunseung's lower body. "Oh," he replied blandly. "They're... those are good."
Hyunseung couldn't resist a smirk. "You think so?" he asked, turning and bending one knee just a bit to show Doojoon the back.
Doojoon cleared his throat and answered, "Yeah. Hey, you didn't happen to pick up anything similar to those, did you? I think I'll need to see how you look in those pairs, too."
"You're so perverted," Hyunseung told him as he turned forward again.
"Woah, I'm not the one who picked those off the rack, that was all you."
"Well, I didn't think they'd look like this," Hyunseung defended.
"I'm glad they do," Doojoon returned.
"You're awful." Hyunseung stepped back into the fitting room.
Through the door, Doojoon stated, "All your outfits had better look that good from here on out."
~~~~~~~~~~
Doojoon and Hyunseung were sitting in the food court eating lunch when an assistant from the clothes store approached Doojoon with three bags. Doojoon thanked the woman as he took the bags.
"What's all that?" Hyunseung asked around the bite of turkey sandwich in his mouth.
"Gifts for a friend."
"You didn't just grab them while we were there?"
"I didn't want him to see me getting them."
"What do you mean, was your friend at the - oh." Hyunseung pulled a face. "Doojoon, you didn't."
Doojoon looked through one of the bags and pulled the tight-fitting black pants halfway out to show Hyunseung. "I had them throw in an extra pair of these ones. I hope you don't mind."
"Mind?" Hyunseung put a hand to his forehead. "Doojoon, why would you do this?"
"You needed a few things, and don't pretend you didn't."
"What, am I some kind of charity case to you? You think I need you to buy my clothes for me?"
"Wow, you're being pretty melodramatic about a gift."
"Those pants alone were over a hundred dollars!" Hyunseung took the bag and looked through it. "What the hell, did you buy everything I tried on?" He moved onto another bag, shuffling through its contents.
"For the most part, plus a couple other things thrown in that I thought you'd like."
"Doojoon..."
"Will you just accept this gift?"
Hyunseung looked at Doojoon for a long moment, then back and the bags of clothes. "I can't just accept these for free."
Doojoon considered his statement, then replied, "Fine, you'll owe me something. A favor."
"What kind of favor?"
"I don't know yet, but I'll come up with something."
Hyunseung shook his head but felt like turning down a gift like this would be a dull move on his part, so he let out a quiet, "Thank you," and placed the bags aside to finish his lunch.
~~~~~~~~~~
They left Seattle heading east ("Much further north and we'll be in Canada," Doojoon had stated before they'd set off.) and by eight that night they were crossing into Montana. Hyunseung was neither upset about leaving Washington nor particularly excited about entering Montana. With each passing state and each day spent with Doojoon, Hyunseung felt a little less eager to travel, and a little more excited about the prospect of finding their next motel and settling in for the night. While he'd never thought he would become used to life on the road, he didn't think he would find something he enjoyed so much more.
Throughout the ride, Doojoon's hand slipped casually into his own from time to time, his grip light and allowing Hyunseung to pull away if he chose to, but Hyunseung never did. He enjoyed the feeling of a warm hand in his own, fingers linked. Their conversation was sparse, most of the ride filled with soft music from the radio instead, but unlike their first day together, the silence between them was comfortable.
When Doojoon finally pulled off the highway and found a motel, sometime past midnight in some small town Hyunseung had never heard of, Hyunseung's eyes had grown heavy and he was looking forward to a good night's rest. But after they grabbed their bags and settled into their room, Doojoon took Hyunseung by the waist and kissed him slowly, and suddenly Hyunseung wasn't tired anymore.
Hyunseung led Doojoon to the bed. They sank onto the mattress together, limbs tangling as they went, and this time when Doojoon tried to resist Hyunseung's advances, Hyunseung ignored him and did as he pleased. It wasn't long before Doojoon stopped protesting, letting Hyunseung touch him in whatever way he desired. And for the first time, as Hyunseung steadily allowed himself to be stripped of his clothes, he didn't mind the lingering looks his scarred torso earned him, and he let Dojoon's eyes and hands explore every inch of him without argument.
Hyunseung had become adept at giving men pleasure, but that night he discovered that pleasure for himself as Doojoon gave more than he took in an eager attempt to win not just Hyunseung's body but so much more that Hyunseung didn't even know he had to give until he was already giving it. Hours slipped by unnoticed by Hyunseung as he found himself lost in the embrace and tender movements of the only man who had ever breached his defenses.
In the early hours of the morning, as they lay exhausted and curled in each other's arms, Doojoon murmured against Hyunseung's hair, "I want to ask you for that favor now."
Hyunseung traced lines across Doojoon's chest with his fingertips in no particular order and asked, "Yeah, what's that?"
"When we get up in the morning, I'm going to head back to California. I want you to come along for the ride. I know that's a lot of backtracking for you, but maybe what youre looking for will be somewhere along the way."
Hyunseung's hand stopped its movements. There had been many times in his month on the road when Hyunseung had found himself somewhere he'd visited previously. It was always kind of a letdown, feeling as though all of his time spent traveling had been wasted on returning to exactly where he'd been before. But he owed Doojoon. And for some reason, he didn't get that let-down feeling when he thought about returning to California with Doojoon. "Alright," he agreed quietly, lacing his fingers through Doojoon's and squeezing his hand.
Lips met his own in a soft and lingering caress. When Doojoon pulled away, he replied, "Thank you."
~~~~~~~~~~
On their fifth day traveling together, Hyuseung saw a side of Doojoon he hadn't seen before. He seemed nervous and a little agitated as they drove on, and he drove faster than usual as though determined to reach California in record time.
Knowing he would be staying with Doojoon until they reached California together, Hyunseung didn't spare much attention for Idaho as they passed through around midmorning and grabbed a bite to eat, or for Utah which was for all intents and purposes simply a duplicate of Idaho as far as he could tell. At a carhop place somewhere in Utah closer to Arizona than Idaho, they had dinner in the car, and Hyunseung turned to Doojoon to ask with some worry, "Why are you all wound up?"
Doojoon heaved a sigh and seemed to ignore the question for some time as he worked on finishing his dinner. Then, eventually, he told Hyunseung, "By this time tomorrow I'll be back in Oceanside. Tomorrow night I'll have dinner in my apatment and sleep in my bed. Where will you be?"
Hyunseung shrugged. "I don't know. I don't usually plan that far ahead."
"God damnit, Hyunseung," Doojoon muttered, hitting the heel of his hand against the steering wheel. "See? This is why I'm wound up. I have a job I have to get back to, and people I need to see. I have to go back and do all the things I usually do and pretend like there's not someone, somewhere hitching rides on the side of the road and praying that he has enough food to survive and a place to sleep and that he doesn't get killed by the next guy that picks him up. Someone that I know. Someone that I fucking care about."
"There you go again with that, like you know me or something. Doojoon, you met me less than a week ago. What did you think this was? How did you possibly think this would end?"
"I don't know," Doojoon practically yelled. Lowering his voice, he continued, "But I didn't think I'd even care how it ended. Give a guy a ride, give him somewhere to rest his head for a night, help him out a little, be on my way. Not this."
"Not this what? You did that, all of it, and you did it a few times. But that's all it is. I'm just a guy you helped out once upon a time, and it doesn't have to be any more meaningful than that."
"It already is." Doojoon took Hyunseung's hand in his own. He looked like he wanted to say more, but after a time Hyunseung realized he wasn't going to continue. When one of the carhops returned to their car, Doojoon paid the girl, and they left the drive-in cafe to find their way back to the highway.
~~~~~~~~~~
Doojoon traced a hand lazily over Hyunseung's torso in a motel twenty miles outside of Las Vegas. Hyunseung did his best not to flinch from the touch, but even after the previous night, he still wasn't fully comfortable with Doojoon seeing something he kept so hidden.
"Where did you get these?" Doojoon asked again as his hand found one of Hyunseung's scars, sounding not just interested but a little concerned as well.
Hyunseung sat up, and Doojoon's hand fell away from his skin. Leaning his elbows on his knees, he turned his head and stared at the bathroom door. "My father used to cut me as a punishment when I was a kid. He one of those knives you use for hunting, you know, a buck knife. There wasn't much my mother could do to stop him, since he used to cut her, too, and worse I'm sure. It started before I could even remember. But my mother stopped him when I was ten."
"You guys moved away from him?" Doojoon asked.
"No." Hyunseung repositioned himself a bit. "My mother killed him." Having never actually said those words aloud, Hyunseung felt surprisingly little about them. He supposed it was some kind of psychological defense mechanism or something, from what he could recall of the few years of therapy he'd been required to attend between the ages of ten and twelve.
"Oh, my god, I'm sorry, I didn't -"
"No, it's fine. I guess I'd be curious about something like that too; I don't blame you for asking." He turned back to face Doojoon. "She's still serving her sentence. I've been in the foster system ever since. Now, what about you? What's your story?"
Doojoon shook his head. "I don't really have one. I grew up with well-off parents that were a little bit more focused on their work instead of me than I would have preferred but still found time to spend with me. I graduated college last year and got handed a position in my father's company, but he wouldn't have let me work for him if I didn't actually have the ability to maintain my position." He rubbed his arms. "I took off on this trip to try to clear my head. My parents have a girl they are kind of encouraging me to eventually marry, though they'd never force me to do something like that against my will, and I have to figure out how to come out to them without it blowing up in my face and resulting in me losing my job."
"Are they gonna hate you?" Hyunseung asked.
"My mother won't," Doojoon replied with a half-shrug. "My father's a little old-fashioned, though. It could go either way with him. I hope he doesn't hate me."
"I hope so, too."
"Either way, I'll survive." Doojoon pulled Hyunseung toward himself. Hyunseung climbed into his lap, burying his face against Doojoon's neck. With arms wrapped around his waist, Hyunseung reflected that it felt good to have someone know about his past and to know about someone's past and to not really care all that much that they knew just as long as it meant they didn't go running in the other direction.
~~~~~~~~~~
It was nine in the morning when Doojoon drove them over the Nevada-California border, but he drove another four hours before stopping. They'd reached Oceanside, the place Doojoon had said he was from, and Hyunseung was a little surprised that Doojoon had taken him all the way there. He had kind of planned on parting ways near the border, or perhaps somewhere near Santa Ana or possibly Fullerton, where they'd first met. Instead, when they'd reached Rancho Cucamonga Doojoon had headed south instead of west, and now they were parked in front of a ritzy-looking apartment building in Oceanside that Hyunseung felt out of place even looking at.
"Come up for lunch," Doojoon instructed without even a hint of a request in his voice. He got out of the car and waited for Hyunseung, who finally followed his lead and timidly trailed behind him into the building.
Doojoon's apartment on the third floor, when they reached it, took Hyunseung's breath away. It was spacious, immaculately clean, and professionally decorated. It looked like something out of a magazine. Hyunseung didn't want to touch anything, but eventually took a seat at the dining room table at Doojoon's urging. From his position, he got to watch Doojoon cooking, preparing pasta and a red sauce made from scratch. He did his best not to comment on the man's pink frilly apron.
They ate lunch accompanied by light conversation, and Hyunseung did his best to choke down the food. It was delicious and any other time he would have been eating with gusto, but the meal had an air of finality to him. After he finished, he would leave, probably on his own or possibly getting a ride from Doojoon to somewhere closer to the highway, and that would be that. He would never see Doojoon again.
"Do you cook at all?" Doojoon asked him as they both played with the last few bites of their lunch, neither willing to finish.
"I used to cook for myself all the time. I wasn't bad."
"Well, then, maybe you can stick around and make me something to eat tonight."
"That won't leave me much time to figure out a place to sleep."
"I could help you out with that."
"What, you mean like have me stay the night?"
Doojoon rubbed the back of his neck. "Maybe not just the night."
Hyunseung stared at his mostly empty plate. "You mean like... two nights?"
Doojoon ate another bite of his pasta before telling Hyunseung, "I have another favor to ask you. I know you already paid me back, but if you do this I'll owe you one."
"What's up?" Hyunseung asked, lifting his eyes from his plate to Doojoon's face.
"I want to ask you to stay here. Maybe not, you know, permanently, but for awhile. Until you can figure out more than just the next twenty-four hours at a time."
"Oh." Hyunseung was still playing with his food. He really didn't know how to respond. Doojoon had phrased it as though he would be doing some great favor for Doojoon, but Hyunseung wasn't foolish enough to actually believe that.
"I know it's asking for a lot, since you're more used to life on the road and going it alone," Doojoon added as he stood from his seat and took Hyunseung by the hands to stand him up as well, "but I'd like to offer you a home here."
Hyunseung looked around the giant apartment from where he stood. The place felt too big and too cold. It was intimidating, and Doojoon's request felt overwhelming. There was no way he could accept, Doojoon must have known that. They were practically strangers. Besides, he had no way of contributing to the household, at least until the following autumn when he turned 18 and could get a job.
Despite all of his thoughts, though, the moment Doojoon wrapped his arms aound Hyunseung's waist, all Hyunseung could think about was the possibility of staying with him, of being able to feel those arms around him every day and having the security of a home living with someone who had an interest in his well-being. He felt choked up and suddenly couldn't recall a single good reason not to stay so, turning his head to burrow against Doojoon's neck, he answered, "Alright."
~끝~