(no subject)
Wow its been a while. sorry guys, i havent been posting like i want to. I dont know why. Part of it is just life, nothing really new. Part of it is Laura. Part of it is that im now a certified Second Life adict. Greatest game ever, if theyd stop updating it and screwing it up.
So, whats new. Not dating anyone, and not looking to, really. Im tired of the game, so to speak. Everyone has someone, that is, everyone else. Meh.
Im gonna kill that damn Rain song if it comes on my playlist again.
Working at the local BP gas station. Wee, thats a fun job. Get your work done, sit on your ass. im serious. Now if i could get more than 3 days a week...
Its looking like i will be in my moms old house till october. Then i turn 21 (oh joy, i can drink legaly whenever im depressed) and can sell drinks. then im moving to Decature and get a job in a store that sells alchol. Apperently, their allways looking for help, and they pay $7/hr. hells yes. Whats life without the danger of being robbed and killed at 2am?
I dont really care anymore. Not about anything. My friends and my cat, really.
So I wont get my license back till December. hen i have to be on SR11 insurance till 2009. thats a load of bullcrap. I might as well just keep on biking, i cant afford that crap. The government is just outt to down the poor man, I swear.
Heres a song for Laura. One that i wish shed read and accual do. Calls from her, a month later, where she talks about missing me and such, arnt helping. She wanted to go hang out sometime, but she must not get it. I dunno. Here it is.
Hate Me
[message on voicemail:] Hi Justin! This is your mother. It is 2:33 on Monday afternoon. I was just calling to see how you were doing. You sounded really uptight last night, it made me a little nervous, and a little, well it made me nervous, but it sounded like you were nervous too. I just want to make sure you are really okay and wanted to see if you were checking in on your medication too. You know I love ya and take care honey. I know your under a lot of pressure. See ya. Bye Bye!
I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me? it is I that wanted space
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling “Make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
For you
For you
For you
So, whats new. Not dating anyone, and not looking to, really. Im tired of the game, so to speak. Everyone has someone, that is, everyone else. Meh.
Im gonna kill that damn Rain song if it comes on my playlist again.
Working at the local BP gas station. Wee, thats a fun job. Get your work done, sit on your ass. im serious. Now if i could get more than 3 days a week...
Its looking like i will be in my moms old house till october. Then i turn 21 (oh joy, i can drink legaly whenever im depressed) and can sell drinks. then im moving to Decature and get a job in a store that sells alchol. Apperently, their allways looking for help, and they pay $7/hr. hells yes. Whats life without the danger of being robbed and killed at 2am?
I dont really care anymore. Not about anything. My friends and my cat, really.
So I wont get my license back till December. hen i have to be on SR11 insurance till 2009. thats a load of bullcrap. I might as well just keep on biking, i cant afford that crap. The government is just outt to down the poor man, I swear.
Heres a song for Laura. One that i wish shed read and accual do. Calls from her, a month later, where she talks about missing me and such, arnt helping. She wanted to go hang out sometime, but she must not get it. I dunno. Here it is.
Hate Me
[message on voicemail:] Hi Justin! This is your mother. It is 2:33 on Monday afternoon. I was just calling to see how you were doing. You sounded really uptight last night, it made me a little nervous, and a little, well it made me nervous, but it sounded like you were nervous too. I just want to make sure you are really okay and wanted to see if you were checking in on your medication too. You know I love ya and take care honey. I know your under a lot of pressure. See ya. Bye Bye!
I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me? it is I that wanted space
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling “Make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
For you
For you
For you