(no subject)

[realxtears]

seriously i go from being the happiest girl ever then the next day i'm all depressed again.
i hate these mood swings i'm always in.
I cant be happy for more than a day.. something always happens. i have the worst luck in everything
idk what to do anymore =[
im doing horrible in school . school used to be so important to me and i was so dedicated idk what happened . i think its so hard and i give up to easily
i feel like im letting my family down. which makes me feel like a screw up in my family
i didnt get invited for the award ceremony thing tonight why ? because i suck at school. its really sad
i have no self confidence in myself i feel like i cant do anything.
my self-esteem is really low . i dont believe anyone if they say something good about me
i feel like im never good enough for anyone
i always put myself down. i never have one day where i say "i think i look kinda good today" nope never happened for me
i always find something wrong. i'm never happy with myself
everything is changing and im like stuck in a hole .. i have no clue what to do
none of my friends are the same.
i want summer so bad right now =[

i wish i never got so involved with boys
i'm always getting hurt. i hate when i think "this boy is different he wouldnt hurt me" .. well he usually does. maybe this is my fault ? i get my hopes up and everything just comes crashing down . i knew this one was to good to be true
he was way to cute for me. every girl wants him. why would he ever think about picking me ? yeah wow deanna seriously what were you thinking ?

i'm done.