(no subject)
It goes on, and sends us spinning in its wake, unable to pull free from its power.. We mark the exit of another year, and prepare ourselves for the new ahead, with all its pending challenges. Another of the things they don't tell you when you start med school and as you go through it, is just how little control you will have over your life for many years. You will have to move for jobs that fulfill the requirements of your training program. You will have to give up a good part of your life to prepare for exams..whose only follow-on is that you get more responsibility and stress, and possibly yet more and harder exams.
I'm fortunate in that I get to be here for another year, which is what I wanted.. At least it is for now. Meanwhile, friends are moving far away.. They'll be missed. But the way it all goes, they may be back the year after. Forced to be nomadic, we're made to learn inconstancy..
I'm by no means exempt from change though. I get to be trundled along to the next stage.. Despite how it has tested me, there are things I will miss about this rotation. The notion is receding though, that stray thought of taking this up as well.. I don't know that it's right for me, or that I'm right for it. There have been more deaths in this rotation than any other I've done. There are too many difficult conversations to be had. Too many grim pictures to paint. There is too much minutiae to have to retain. I need more instant gratification. More people I can at least pretend to fix. Not that I miss the drunk, drugged, aggressive, and just plain stupid people...
There's an intensity to it. You get to do pretty amazing things. As someone once put it, it's like the final frontier. It's the most that medicine can do. It's where the really unwell are. As opposed to those who have a sore throat and can't be bothered to buy paracetamol for themselves.
I don't know.
~~~
Dean: I learned a lesson, all right. Just not the one you wanted to teach.
-Supernatural