fish
i breathe the water and suffocate in the air. the cool wetness of it releases my soul. water is my element. the beautiful gray, dark ocean of the east coast. the clear, turqoise, caribbean sea. every river, every lake, every stream, every pond, every sea, every ocean; all the waters of the world i love. i devour the water. here, i am helpless. no one sees how i sit and watch the years passby. each day, each hour, each minute, each second i loose a breath. dying so utterly slowly. watching the years on the land pass, i imagine the water; i seek the water; i can only feel it, not be it. for now, that is all i ask. i walk into the tub. all my clothes still on. i wait. just wait. i hold myself underneath the water. waiting. i am almost out of breath. this is not death i talk of. i am trying to find life.
finally...the last bit of air that sits in my lungs is gone. i have found the water again.