A Very Moony Christmas (NC-17)
Hi all, I'm new around here and though I might as well start with posting one of my fics here. I'd rather post another one but it's not finished yet. I'm hoping your comments will make me want to write again
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Firstly, the story seems to take a *long* time to get going. I must admit that I found myself skimming paragraphs (I did go back and re-read them, I swear) - hehe, that's quite alright. I didn't realise this, though. I'll have a look at it.
I just can't imagine a forty-something, mature lycanthrope telling your characterisation of Hermione that she'll "do great" giving him head *questioning look*. - Hehe okay I can see how that might sound odd. Noted and will be looked at.
Another stickler-moment: has Hermione lost her personality? Viva la "Constant Vigilance" motto, but I don't find it plausible to have Hermione completely lose her personality during five years of Auror training and work. - Hmm. Fair enough. I guess the Hermione in my head and canon Hermione aren't quite the same. Thanks for pointing that out.
I'm sorry that I spent so long on the more negative aspects - No problem, that's the only way I can learn, right?
(and I do agree with the previous reply, you really could erase the last section, expand on the scene in the kitchen [if you want to have the sex scene] and finish the story with "So, had a good night sleep?") This can work and you will only grow as an author. - Yeah, I agree. Thanks!
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