Writer's Block: Caring
I'd have to say my family. My son and his father, my parents, my sisters and nieces and nephews, and my brother Anthony (even though he can be annoying sometimes). Of course at the top of the list is Elias. But i can't pin point people, like this person is a 9 out of 10. LOL. Its all equal. And as much as my family disagrees, and argues, and sometimes just do fucked up shit, i still love em. But i don't like all my family. I can write a book on some people and how much i can't stand them. I have anger issues people. I do. If i talk about someone i can't stand i wanna punch things, and i get so pissed! The old me used to fight in school and i stopped being like that. So when I'm angry i hold it in instead of doing the old me. And when it keeps on i just burst. I feel like the old me is sometimes better, because i at least dealt with the issues, and people knew i wasn't a game. I mean I'm a mom so of course I'm not going to go around knockin' people out for any little thing, lol. Thats what i avoid. Oh and people know what tick me i think. Like if someone mentions Elias in anything, or insinuates I'm a bad mom i fuckin' flip. I'll beat someones ass, SERIOUSLY. I'm so defensive, i don't like anyone talking about Elias in a negative way. And I'm very defensive when it comes to Kelvin as well, and my mom. Well anyone i love basically. I remember being like 14, and Nina (a girl around here) was talking shit about Yvette, and picking on her and stuff, and Yvette told me. I went up to her and started getting in her face, i took my earrings, rings and bracelets off, i was ready yo! lol. And she was bothering my sister with her cousins girl too, so i told her "go upstairs, tell that bitch to bring her ass down here right now, we gonna settle this shit right now, and you bring your ass back too. Hurry the fuck up, we waitin' " and she was like, "ok, its on..." while walkin away talkin shit. I put my hair up, mad people were crowding around like ,"damn Bianca, calm down." and telling my mom not to let me do anything. But my mom said ,"she can handle herself. She gotta do what she gotta do." I loved her for that. My dad, he can fight with anyone but if i have to he always told me not to, i was a girl and it wasn't "lady like." After waiting like 10 minutes i went to her building, calling her out, but of course a no show. I didn't see her for like a month after that, and when i did she apologized to me. WOW! That wouldn't of been me in her situation. I would of come down, as a matter fact i would of just handled it right there by myself, especially with how i went to her, like i was ready to kill. Chicken shits. All talk and no action.
And i remember when Dalila (that hoe) started yelling and cursing at my mom outside, i was upstairs. Yvette came up and told me what was going on, and i went out with my PJs on. I think Dalila hit Yvette or shoved her or some shit. Benji and Victor (2 old family friends) were out there, and when i started runnin' up they already knew, so Benji grabs me. I ran around him and grabbed her shirt, but she got away. I just don't play that shit. Not with family. It was just crazy how me, the littlest 1, was the bad ass. LOL. I can't believe i was like that, even though i totally get it. And anything that went down my mom or someone would tell me because they knew i would handle it, no matter what. Like i was the family pitbull. LOL. And tons of times i punched Anthony or Braulio in their face, and they would swing back and it would be a rap, i'd fuckin flip on their ass. Those were the days. LOL. It sounds bad, but thats how i handled the frustration and stress. I can't be that foolish anymore. Oh wells. I guess its a good thing. But that me is still there, you would just have to REALLY fuck with my family or my man or my son to unleash the beast. I'm making pasta, gotta go!