Trying To Be A Better Mom, Wife, Sister, Daughter And A Better Me
My dad puts me down a lot. I love him though. I appreciate him for all he does for me. But he's very judgmental. He can't be happy that i have a plan, a good plan, a legit plan. How does it matter where and how i get my H.S. diploma so long as i get it? I'm going to college once I'm done with this, so my H.S. diploma wouldn't that big of a deal at that point. I just gotta do what i feel is best for me, but i still have this "daddy's girl" mentality sometimes, which I'm trying to shrug off. I want his full approval now since i fucked up with my man, not that my man is bad for me, i love him. I told my dad that. He doesn't like my sons father, but i really don't give a shit. Its whats best for me, not him. He's a good dad, and a good boyfriend. To a dad, no man will ever be good enough for his daughter anyways. I just want him for once to be proud of me. I want to get to the point in my life where money isn't an issue for me, and i can start repaying my dad back with nice things, to make up for all he's done for me. And my sister Amanda? I want to repay her too someday. She feels bad for what i go through, and i don't want sympathy, i just want someone to see that i made this choice, i payed my dues for it, and i'm trying to fix my life. Rome wasn't built in a day you know? I want someone to cut me some slack. Someone to REALLY understand me and my feelings. Amanda sent me money one day, and I appreciated it so much, i really did. I cried. But i will pay her back one day. I will. Thats a promise.
I want to be a better mother, thats why I'm going to college to get a degree to get a better paying job to give my son everything and more, to make life easier for him. I never want to have to say to him," mommy can't afford that. " That would kill me. And it WOULD be my fault. I wouldn't be able to live with that. When all my shit is in order i know i'll be a better wife to my man. With all the stress from what we're going through, i do admit i treat him like shit. I do. I don't fulfill my domestic responsibilities like i feel like i should be. I want to be a better daughter. I want to be able to give my dad money when i see he's in the hole, i want to show him how much he's appreciated. I want to be a better sister as well, and a better aunt. I know money isn't everything. But i feel good when i give people things. I do, i really do. I just can't wait to get on my way. Hopefully by this time next year i'll be starting my career, and being all that i can be. Thats all for now. Piece
I want to be a better mother, thats why I'm going to college to get a degree to get a better paying job to give my son everything and more, to make life easier for him. I never want to have to say to him," mommy can't afford that. " That would kill me. And it WOULD be my fault. I wouldn't be able to live with that. When all my shit is in order i know i'll be a better wife to my man. With all the stress from what we're going through, i do admit i treat him like shit. I do. I don't fulfill my domestic responsibilities like i feel like i should be. I want to be a better daughter. I want to be able to give my dad money when i see he's in the hole, i want to show him how much he's appreciated. I want to be a better sister as well, and a better aunt. I know money isn't everything. But i feel good when i give people things. I do, i really do. I just can't wait to get on my way. Hopefully by this time next year i'll be starting my career, and being all that i can be. Thats all for now. Piece