(no subject)
so tonight i learned a valuable lesson, dont get drunk unless you are with someone you love or around ppl you know.
tonight i thought i was meeting freinds, and tonight i just made an ass of myself.
everone here in lancaster pretty much hates me and it makes me want to never come back, and i was sooo thinking about coming to school here, but yeeah, i got drunk tried to joke, it was taken too seriously and everyone hates me.
i tried to say im sorry to the one girl that it should have ment anything too but apparently everyone still thinks im a bitch, and i am really not such a thing. i feel like an asshole. and now i dont want to go to school here. i dont even want to stay here another day -i want to go home tomorrow
-btw if you didnt know im in Lancaster PA and as of tonight i guess it was a total waste of my time, but until this time everything was going swimmingly and i was on my way to going to school here by next year.
well fuck me.
i fucked up.
so yeah lesson learned dont get drunk in front of ppl you dont know and that you in tend on seeing on in the future, other wise they will hate you and you will have no friends later on.
the first time i was drunk was the most wonderful experience of my entire life, i felt that i was loved and cared for and that i never wanted to leave that place or feeling -but tonight, the second time i was ever drunk in my life -i wanted to skin me self alive and run away from who i was and what i looked like, i felt alone and disliked - i hated how i was percived. Tonight i no longer wanted to be me or even here -i wanted to automatically be home, safe in my bed hugging my pillow until i could dream of better things, -or with my family -the ones that truely love me and care about me. These people i know should not mean a thing to me but they did and it affected me greatly and it really really upset me as well. I almost dont want to come back, or if i did i wouldnt want to meet anyone.
If i went to school here i think i would rather live with out meeting anyone, just keep to myself and just learn and grow with art. To not know anyone you wouldnt have to care about anyone elses feelings, its only you. But if there is one person, -only one, -then all their friends come into the picture and it changes everything.
This place truely inspires me to become great but as of what happened tonight i just want/ed to curl up into a little ball and disappear.
tonight i thought i was meeting freinds, and tonight i just made an ass of myself.
everone here in lancaster pretty much hates me and it makes me want to never come back, and i was sooo thinking about coming to school here, but yeeah, i got drunk tried to joke, it was taken too seriously and everyone hates me.
i tried to say im sorry to the one girl that it should have ment anything too but apparently everyone still thinks im a bitch, and i am really not such a thing. i feel like an asshole. and now i dont want to go to school here. i dont even want to stay here another day -i want to go home tomorrow
-btw if you didnt know im in Lancaster PA and as of tonight i guess it was a total waste of my time, but until this time everything was going swimmingly and i was on my way to going to school here by next year.
well fuck me.
i fucked up.
so yeah lesson learned dont get drunk in front of ppl you dont know and that you in tend on seeing on in the future, other wise they will hate you and you will have no friends later on.
the first time i was drunk was the most wonderful experience of my entire life, i felt that i was loved and cared for and that i never wanted to leave that place or feeling -but tonight, the second time i was ever drunk in my life -i wanted to skin me self alive and run away from who i was and what i looked like, i felt alone and disliked - i hated how i was percived. Tonight i no longer wanted to be me or even here -i wanted to automatically be home, safe in my bed hugging my pillow until i could dream of better things, -or with my family -the ones that truely love me and care about me. These people i know should not mean a thing to me but they did and it affected me greatly and it really really upset me as well. I almost dont want to come back, or if i did i wouldnt want to meet anyone.
If i went to school here i think i would rather live with out meeting anyone, just keep to myself and just learn and grow with art. To not know anyone you wouldnt have to care about anyone elses feelings, its only you. But if there is one person, -only one, -then all their friends come into the picture and it changes everything.
This place truely inspires me to become great but as of what happened tonight i just want/ed to curl up into a little ball and disappear.