Change happens.........
Things have a way of changing sooooo fast.
It's amazing if you just sit back every once and a while and really take a look at life and all the countless situations and circumstances that come along with it.
People change. Circumstances change. Priorities change. Feelings change. Heart's change. Mind's change.
Wow, huge revelation I know.....but really do we ever stop and think about how there are certain things in life we take for granted that will always be the same. Relationships, situations, things we would bet our very life on and then just like that, we are thrown for a loop, shocked to the core....left disappointed and stunned. Our safe little world shaken and tossed upside down.
After experiencing this on a few occasions Iam beginning to think that there is really no sure thing in life, that all I really have is myself and that each choice I make should be based on that fact alone. But if any of you know me at all, you know that is an EXTREMELY hard thing for somebody like me to accept, let alone actually do.
I have an almost obsessive need to be tangled up in relationships and friendships, the more complicated the better. The only way I ever feel loved is when I know I have close friends that care about me and need me. I need to feel needed. I know I even sometimes have a pretty twisted perspective on what a "great friend" I really am. I try to pride myself on that, and I know Iam not as great as I try to make others think Iam. I like to feel like the friend who "sacrifices" and takes wrong, its a total martyr complex...believe me, I know I do this on ocassion. But the bottom line is that I do this becase PEOPLE are important to me, CONNECTIONS are important to me, I care about others more than I do myself, and I know its not a healthy way to be. I know this. But Iam very quicky learning that things are not always how they seem and that one of the only sure things that I have is myself, my will. The only thing I can control is myself...my will my actions and decisions.
To tell you the truth this new found revelation is coming as quite a relief to me. It shows me my limitations and boundaries. It helps me focus my energy on realistic goals. It feels wonderful to finally lay everybody down, let them take control, let them make their decisions, let them CHANGE, because Iam starting to learn that they are going to do this with or without my blessings, and now that I know and accept that fact, it just makes it easier on all of us huh?
Change happens....thats for sure. And all I can do is just accept it, learn from it and maybe even change a little myself. Thats about the extent of my control in this life. And I think Iam ok with that.
It looks like Iam going to have to be.
It's amazing if you just sit back every once and a while and really take a look at life and all the countless situations and circumstances that come along with it.
People change. Circumstances change. Priorities change. Feelings change. Heart's change. Mind's change.
Wow, huge revelation I know.....but really do we ever stop and think about how there are certain things in life we take for granted that will always be the same. Relationships, situations, things we would bet our very life on and then just like that, we are thrown for a loop, shocked to the core....left disappointed and stunned. Our safe little world shaken and tossed upside down.
After experiencing this on a few occasions Iam beginning to think that there is really no sure thing in life, that all I really have is myself and that each choice I make should be based on that fact alone. But if any of you know me at all, you know that is an EXTREMELY hard thing for somebody like me to accept, let alone actually do.
I have an almost obsessive need to be tangled up in relationships and friendships, the more complicated the better. The only way I ever feel loved is when I know I have close friends that care about me and need me. I need to feel needed. I know I even sometimes have a pretty twisted perspective on what a "great friend" I really am. I try to pride myself on that, and I know Iam not as great as I try to make others think Iam. I like to feel like the friend who "sacrifices" and takes wrong, its a total martyr complex...believe me, I know I do this on ocassion. But the bottom line is that I do this becase PEOPLE are important to me, CONNECTIONS are important to me, I care about others more than I do myself, and I know its not a healthy way to be. I know this. But Iam very quicky learning that things are not always how they seem and that one of the only sure things that I have is myself, my will. The only thing I can control is myself...my will my actions and decisions.
To tell you the truth this new found revelation is coming as quite a relief to me. It shows me my limitations and boundaries. It helps me focus my energy on realistic goals. It feels wonderful to finally lay everybody down, let them take control, let them make their decisions, let them CHANGE, because Iam starting to learn that they are going to do this with or without my blessings, and now that I know and accept that fact, it just makes it easier on all of us huh?
Change happens....thats for sure. And all I can do is just accept it, learn from it and maybe even change a little myself. Thats about the extent of my control in this life. And I think Iam ok with that.
It looks like Iam going to have to be.