(FIC) It's Not A Test Part 1

[konishi_zen]

Title-It's not a test
Author-Konishi_zen
Characters/Pairings:Jose Theodore/Alex Ovechkin. Sheldon Souray/Ryan Miller. Appearances by Iker Casillas, Sergio Ramos and Danny Briere. Mentions of Carey Price, Sid Crosby and Maxim Lapierre. Oh and spot the cameos on others.
Rating-R for sexuality, drug and alcohol abuse. Mentions of violence.
Summary- AU in that Jose's a librarian intent on outliving his past and not letting anyone in. Alex is an international student with his own dark past. Sergio, Danny and Sheldon want to see their friend happy and think maybe, just maybe, Alex is the key. Oh and Briere's couch and slurpees as well.
Disclaimer-Don't own, not mine. Only the words. Song belongs to Snow Patrol. Guys own themselves.
Notes-Based on my own Alma Mater and Edmonton. Thanks to my friend C who patiently was there to bounce ideas off and to proof-read.

“Just say yes
Just say there's nothing holding you back
It's not a test
Nor a trick of the mind, only love” Snow Patrol

“I fucking hate Mondays.” Jose muttered to himself as he picked up the stacks of discarded teen fashion magazines and plunked them down on his cart. “Hate, hate, hate Mondays.”

Not only did he have to deal with feeling like a piece of meat as the freshmen co-eds giggled and stared at him and Sergio, he also had to deal with the mess left behind. And it was Danny’s day off, so he didn’t have the relief of his snide remarks to ease the dull spots of the days. He sighed heavily and went to pick up another pile of magazines, trying to lose himself in the task so that his annoyance would fade.

“You always say that, doesn’t it get old?” Jose jumped, his heart nearly in his throat when he heard that too familiar voice coming seemingly out of nowhere. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself down before he turned around to look at who had startled him.

“Sergio, if you value your life and your visa, you won’t ever sneak up on me again, is that clear?” Jose growled at the snickering student worker that was standing behind him with a pile of even more fashion magazines.

“That was mean, Pepe!” Sergio pouted, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he placed the magazines on the cart.

“Don’t call me Pepe either.” Jose replied automatically as he grabbed more magazines and added them to the haphazard pile that was building up on the cart. Sergio laughed softly as he tucked a strand of too long chestnut brown hair behind his ear.

“Why ever not, Jose? It suits you.” Sergio responded as he reached out and straightened out the precarious stack that the magazines had been placed in.

“That’s not my name and don’t even think about singing that song.” Jose warned him as he glared at his younger co-worker sternly over his black-rimmed glasses. Sergio closed his mouth and grinned cheekily as he walked over to another table to pick up more of the scattered magazines.

“You need a good seeing to, Jose.” Sergio sang out, swaying his hips as he walked over to the cart, magazines firmly in hand as he did so. Jose scowled.

“Sergio, sex isn’t the end all to be all of life and maybe it’s high time you learned that as well.” Jose shot back as he took the magazines from the irrepressible Sergio, who only laughed at Jose’s attempted chastising.

“Besides, how are you making out with that other exchange student there? What’s his name? Castiel or something?” Jose asked in a desperate attempt to direct the conversation away from his non-existent sex-life.

Although he wouldn’t admit it even under pressure, he did miss having both a partner and a regular sex life. But that pursuit of a relationship and pleasure had been the root of so many of his heartaches and complications. He had to admit that even when he woke up in need of an icy shower that it was much better than the painful alternatives he had lived through. The beginnings and middles were always fantastic. But once the afterglow and newness had worn off the protracted one night stands he had ended up in…it had always become a fucking nightmare.

He was probably the only person he knew that wasn’t afraid of ending up in hell. He had already lived through quite a few of them and had survived to tell the tale. So if the price to pay for having peace and a drama-free life was living alone in a too big house and relying on Mrs. Rosie Palmer and her five lovely daughters when the physical tension became too much to bear, he would happily pay it. Besides, he would never admit it to Sergio or Sheldon or Danny, but he more often than not lived vicariously through them and their romantic entanglements.

“His name is Iker Casillas and that one, is definitely giving me a run for my money.” Sergio sighed dramatically and put his hands on his hips. Jose stopped his work and crossed his arms in front of his chest. The library was dead at this time of the day and he wouldn’t admit it, but he actually was amused at Sergio’s tales of trial and tribulations when it came to trying to get this Iker Casillas fellow to notice him and realize that he and Sergio were soul-mates and meant to be.

“So get this. He walks in with that Russian boy…you know the one with the broken nose, but to die for eyes?” Sergio asked, making Jose frown as he tried to place Iker’s elusive companion.

Sergio sighed impatiently. “You know? The one he’s always with on Tuesdays? He’s huge, you can’t really miss him! And that nose! He looks like a gargoyle most of the time, but when he smiles…” Sergio got a soppy grin across his face as he remembered Iker’s companion and pretended to swoon over the cart.

Jose watched this while still racking his brain as to who it was that Sergio was drooling over. It wasn’t the blonde with the round baby-face studying architecture, he was sure. Or the older Forestry student with the sandy brown hair and piercing eyes. Nor was it the lanky dark haired business student. He was sure he would have remembered someone with such distinctive looks that Sergio was swooning over and those guys definitely weren’t in the gargoyle category.
He sighed and finally shook his head, admitting defeat. Sergio frowns, but isn’t fazed at all. He just straightened up and went on with his story.

“So anyways, there I was, shelving books and he comes up to me and asks me where the history section is. So naturally, I take him there and I swear Jose, his eyes and his smile are to die for.” At this, Sergio broke off his story to sigh over the dream boy while Jose suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. Yes, he had vowed to remain single but he didn’t think that he should be an asshole and piss all over Sergio’s romantic dreams. Besides, if he did, the Catalyunian had a passionate and mean streak a mile wide and he wouldn’t put it past Sergio to hide the stamps or lock the toilets until Jose begged for forgiveness.

“So did you get to say anything else to his dreaminess?” Jose asked as he began to straighten out the piles again. Not that they really needed it, but Jose figured if he kept his hands busy then he would be less tempted to be snarky about the situation. Sergio made an irritated noise at the question.

“I wish. I must be cursed, Jose! Because at that exact moment, I was accosted by that textiles student who won’t take the hint! I am cursed! Cursed!” Sergio cried, throwing his hands up in the air.

“Maybe you need to be more direct with her.” Jose soothed him, keeping his eyes on the magazines. He knew that if he looked up, he wouldn’t be able to help the smirk that was threatening to spread all over his face. It was true that Sergio didn’t exactly parade his preferences (Early in their acquaintance, he had once made Jose and Danny do a spit-take when he had announced that he was fluid and had proceeded to demonstrate by making out with both Danny’s ex and Sid Crosby on the dance floor) but now that he had set his sights on Casillas, he had taken pains to let the female admirers subtly realize that they were setting their sights on the wrong guy. Most had taken the hint. Except for an unlucky few, one of these exceptions being the textile student that seemed to irritate Sergio to no end. Jose himself had to admit that she was sort of aggravating with her hipster clothes and condescending attitude towards others she considered outside of her circle.

Sergio snorted inelegantly. “Jose, short of coming to work in drag, I don’t know what else I can do to get the message across that I am not into carpet munching at the moment.”

Sergio realized that had been the wrong thing to say when Jose’s face twitched several times as he tried to suppress his amusement at the words, but in the end, failed miserably despite his best intentions.

“Oh thanks. Thanks! Jose, I am pouring out my woes to you and all you do is laugh at me?” Sergio sputtered indignantly as Jose dissolved into fits of helpless laughter at the mental image of Sergio coming to work in a shirtwaist dress, stockings, heels and make-up with his hair curled and arranged as he had during drag night at Buddy’s. Sheldon still refused to speak of that night or why he had ended up with eyeliner smudges and a smirking Sergio climbing out of his car the next morning.
“I’m sorry! I’m really sorry, but it reminded me of-”

“The drag contest at Buddy’s, yeah, I know.” Sergio cut him off, smiling slightly himself at the memory. “I swear, Jose. You really should maybe get out more and try-”

“Sergio, we’ve already played that tape to the end. I’m a douchebag magnet and that’s something you can’t really overcome. Besides, I’m too old to start again. Most people my age are either married, working on their first divorces or simply not up to standards. We’ve already discussed it.” Jose cut him off, not wanting to get into another discussion as to why Jose didn’t bother to really date anyone anymore.

Sergio frowned and exhaled noisily as he got back to work again.

“But…don’t you think you’re making it a certainty that you will be alone if you don’t try?” Sergio asked softly, making Jose wince with the earnestness with which the younger man asked him the question. Sergio was a hopeless romantic and was always optimistic that he was going to find his prince with a little luck and a little effort. He also believed that it was the same for everyone else as well. It was an endearing quality that Jose liked about the sunny Spaniard, since it made everyone feel better and more hopeful about everything. It was great to see him work his magic on others, but it made Jose uncomfortable to have it focused on him. Jose’s chances were long gone. He accepted that. But it didn’t seem that Sergio simply could do that.

“Sergio, sometimes being with someone doesn’t always work. Sometimes, it’s worse to be in a relationship. Especially when one of the persons in the equation is pretty broken and they’re better off alone to finish healing and that could take an entire lifetime. Not everyone is meant to be with someone and I’m one of those people. I know you mean well, but that’s how it is for me and I’m okay with it.”

Sergio nodded as he turned to bring another armful of scattered magazines back to the rack.

“I get it, but I just think that you’re not one of those people.” Sergio replied quietly. Jose gave him a twisted smile as he arranged the pile again.

“Sergio, you know my track record. Not to mention the charming bonus of being socially inept and a recovering alcoholic. The odds of me being someone’s prince are as good as you winning the lottery.” Jose joked as he wheeled the cart back to the magazine area with Sergio carrying the overflow in his arms.

Sergio sighed and shook his head. “I still think you’re wrong, Jose. There’s someone out there for you still and they will find you.”

Jose shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, I’m going to tell Sheldon to NOT lend you anymore novels. You’ve been corrupted enough as it is.”

As he had expected, that had made Sergio laugh and had, for the moment, ended the discussion which had been Jose’s goal all along.

~*~*~*~*

The annoying blare from his alarm woke Jose up from one of the best sleeps he had in recent memory. He groaned and shot out a hand to shut the infernal beeping up before opening his eyes and rubbing his face with his hand. He really didn’t feel like getting up, despite enjoying his job most of the time, he really hated getting up in the morning. He wasn’t a morning person and wasn’t fully functional until at least three cups of tea or coffee later.

And getting up was always a struggle. He stopped rubbing his face and forced himself to get up and out of bed. He knew if he played the ten more minutes game he was going to really cut his time short and be rushed and that was something he hated more than mornings.

He stumbled into his bathroom and winced at the harsh brightness of the light once he had turned it on. He stood there for a few moments, taking in his narrow face and olive skin and noting how dead he looked in the middle of winter before he grabbed his toothbrush. Once he had brushed his teeth, he stripped off his boxers and the obscure band shirt Shel had bought for him in their mythical youth and jumped in the shower. Maybe that would wake him up more.

When the water poured over his head, he closed his eyes and leaned against the tiled wall, trying to not think of anything at all as the water warmed him up. It had been years since he had shared a shower with anyone, using their body heat to get warm when it took too long for the water to do it for them. He missed that, if he was honest with himself. He liked it when his hair was washed by someone else and he missed returning the favour to another person also.

His cock, already hard from the morning wood, twitched against his belly at the memories. He wasn’t even going to bother counting the months since he had had a proper shag either.

“Not now.” He muttered, pushing himself off the wall and grabbed the shampoo. But even though he was trying to get on with his morning, his cock had other ideas. By the time he had finished washing and conditioning his hair, his cock was rock hard and almost painful with it.

“Fuck this.” He muttered and grabbed himself. He closed his eyes and again dug deep into his memories for wank material.

She smiled up at him as she pushed her blonde hair, now wet away from her face. She smiled a lazy, heavy-lidded smile that made his insides turn to water. He smiled back and pulled her closer to him, enjoying the way that their bodies fit against each other. He bent his head to kiss her and moaned at the feel of her lips, the taste of her and how she was driving him out of his mind with lust.

She slid a hand in between their bodies and gave his cock a few quick strokes before guiding him to her entrance. He groans and pulls away from her to position himself so that in one smooth move, he’s inside her. He grabs her hips and she puts her hands on his shoulders to brace herself for the impact of him entering and pulling out of her.

“Ready?” He manages to rasp out as he tries to focus to ask this simple question. She nods, biting her lip as he pulls out almost all the way and moves his hips…

Jose frowned and opened his eyes. Although it was a nice memory, the time afterwards had tainted anything good that had come out of that relationship. And the last thing he wanted to do was go into work morose about a marriage that no matter how desperately he had tried, he simply could not save.

He searched his mental files and tried again. Hopefully this time he would hit upon an equally good memory, but one without such a painful aftermath.

“You’ve never done it in the shower? Are you serious?” Jose asked Maxim as they stood in his blue tiled shower stall. Maxim blushed and smiled his toothy grin as he shook his head.

“You want to try it?” Jose asked, a hint of teasing in his voice as he cupped Maxim’s tight ass and pulled him closer so that both their cocks touched.

“Yes.” Maxim breathed out once Jose grabbed his cock and started to pump it in the rhythm he knew that would make Maxim turn into a babbling idiot with very little effort.

“Ah!” Maxim breathed out as he grabbed Jose’s shoulder and dug his blunt-nailed hands into it as Jose moved his hand in quick, jerky strokes. Maxim didn’t last that long and in a few minutes, he had come all over Jose’s hand. It took a few moments of shuddering and quiet moaning for him to come back to himself. But when he did, the first thing he did was to slide down to his knees and take Jose completely into his mouth.

“Fuck yeah.” Jose breathed out as Maxim swirled his tongue expertly around the head of his cock and let his teeth gently scrape the underside of his shaft. It was a combination of sensations that drove him crazy with their juxtaposition. Maxim knew this and pushed it to the edge by humming as he continued in his efforts to blow Jose’s mind.

Despite his self-control, it was simply too much for Jose and he came, hard and messy in Maxim’s mouth not even two minutes after Maxim started humming.

Jose let out a soft cry, muffling most of it by biting his lip when he finally came. The bathroom walls were notoriously thin and he didn’t want to even think about his neighbours listening to him wank in the shower. Besides, it was bad enough that they still smirked at him after that marathon session with Price. And yeah, it was flattering in some ways, since he had never known he or Carey could get so freaking loud that the neighbours still remembered it. But it was also embarrassing since it had been almost a year since he had been sneaking anyone home in the dead of night.

Jose sighed and pushed the memories away and stepped under the spray of now warm water to finish his shower. He missed those nights, the ones where he was buzzed enough to have a pleasantly warm glow as he and his chosen companion stumbled and fumbled their way to his apartment. He missed how it felt, the excitement of hands and mouths fighting for purchase as he tried to quietly open the door to his apartment. The awkward tango of kicking off their shoes and stripping their coats and other clothes in a mad rush to be naked as they fell onto the bed. Then the pay-off of naked flesh and the inevitable cartography that followed before the intimacy and rawness of being together.

Yes, he missed all of this. He ached for it sometimes. Some nights so badly that he could and did cry with it. Yeah, sometimes, it got to be too much. He was learning to deal with it though and after painful months of loneliness, and a couple of ill-advised flings (one of them being with Price, who had promptly run back to his cheating girlfriend after he had gotten what he had come for) he had a reached a comfortable stage with himself and had learned to be alone, rather than just be lonely. And the more he looked around, the more he had realized that it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Like Danny had said to him a long time ago, everyone was miserable no matter if they were in a relationship or not.

Jose mostly accepted his single status with grace. But some nights, that cold comfort wasn’t enough to dispel the ghosts of lovers past, that was for sure. Especially not when it seemed that hormones and relationships kept smacking him in the face with alarming frequency.

“Thanks a lot, Sergio and Sheldon.” Jose muttered as he reached over for the soap, hurriedly scrubbed himself clean and got out of the rapidly cooling water. He jumped out of the shower and dried himself. Once he was done, he walked into his bedroom and picked out his clothes. While he was getting dressed, he tried to keep his mind away from past lovers and the current situation outside of his home.

For the past month, Sergio had been doing his utmost best to capture Iker Casillas’ attention and hadn’t really gotten any further than some flirting. This was driving Jose nuts, since after every encounter with the shy education student, Sergio dissected their interaction to the minute details and more than once, Jose had been forced to hide out in the back rooms to avoid it. He loved Sergio, but the constant speculation of Iker’s mannerisms and words was hard to take. He was even tempted to corral the poor kid and beg him to date Sergio to spare his own sanity.

And then there was Sheldon, who uncharacteristically had ended up mooning over Ryan Miller, the business student who had turned out to be a wicked guitar player. This, they had both found out when Sheldon’s café had its Thursday open mike night and he had come in with Henrik Lundqvist, the Forestry student and the Russian Earth Sciences student that was playfully referred to as “Ovie”. This, coupled with his stark dark looks had won over Sheldon. So every time that they got together, Jose had to endure a more masculine version of Sergio’s parsing of subtext of the mysterious Ryan Miller. At least with Sheldon he could tell him to either suck it up or get the balls to ask the guy out before he directed Maxim towards Miller.
He snickered to himself as he recalled the affronted expression of his oldest friend when he had made that suggestion. He usually didn’t make remarks like that, but maybe it was just the constant sexual tension surrounding him that pushed him to it. He had honestly thought that Sheldon would have just scowled at him and maybe ignored him for the rest of the evening and gone back to flirting with Ryan like he had been doing for the past three weeks. He hadn’t anticipated Sheldon throwing down the rag he had been wiping the counter with and stalking out towards Ryan, who had been packing up his equipment and pulling him into a lip-lock that was so scorching both of them had ended up falling on the couch right by the stage.
After that, Sheldon had stopped going on about Ryan, but had gotten the permanent smugness of someone that had great sex on tap. And Ryan had started to show up more frequently at the library with the dazed look of the madly in love that Jose had seen only twice on Sheldon’s partners. It was endearing, but it had made both Sergio and Jose annoyed for different reasons.

He sighed and shook his head. Grabbing his keys and his travel mug, he stopped only to fill it up with freshly brewed coffee. Once he added some milk, he screwed on the top and left the house. Jose fished out his keys and went to his car all the while hoping that maybe today Sergio would finally get Iker to go out with him and he could finally get some damned peace
.
~*~*~*~*

Part 2
Jose was covering the desk and covertly watching the clock while he arranged the returned books that needed to be shelved. Sergio was on his break and Danny was off doing some research for one of the professors in the Lit department and wouldn’t be surfacing for a few hours yet. There had been very few patrons that day and Jose was starting to get bored without Sergio’s continual chatter and Danny’s snarky comments. If he was honest, that was the only reason why he was actually finding work to do. He was sure that if he just sat at the desk he would just fall asleep from boredom. It was simply one of those days where no matter how much coffee he drank, he simply couldn’t stay awake if he stayed still.

He yawned and rubbed at his eyes. Maybe once he got a moccachino over lunch he’d get the jolt that he’d need for the afternoon. He looked at the clock again and stifled a sigh. Fifteen more minutes. He could do it.

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose to drive the tiredness behind his eyes when he heard someone clear their throat to get his attention.

“Uh…sorry about that.” Jose apologized as he opened his eyes to look at his prospective patron.

“What can I do for you?” he asked as he studied his patron, who wasn’t the run of the mill student. For one thing, he was big. His hoodie strained across his broad chest and his hands were large and square. He also towered over him and it made Jose feel slightly intimidated.

For the other, he looked like a bruiser. He had a broad face with high cheekbones and a nose that looked like it had been broken at least twice. His mouth was long with a full bottom lip and numerous faint and old scars completed the picture. Not classically handsome, but with a rough charm all the same. But it was his eyes that made Jose’s chest flutter: almond-shaped, widely-set and the most perfect shade of Arctic blue that he had ever seen.

“Where the Earth Sciences section here?” he asked as he pulled out a crumpled syllabus from a heavily patched and decorated McKinley backpack that hung from his left shoulder, his voice low and accented with a hint of something Eastern European that Jose’s tired mind couldn’t pin down at that exact moment.

“I need books for my project.” He continued roughly as he pushed the paper over to Jose.

Jose skimmed the syllabus, digesting the seven titles that were printed on the stark white sheets and tried to recall exactly where the damned books were. Earth Sciences usually weren’t his area, but he recalled vaguely that the professor listed at the top had set aside said books for his class for a term project.

“Can you give me a second? I just have to look for them in the data-base because your professor set them aside for this project.” Jose told the student as he moved over the computer and began searching the database to see the provisos of the reservation.

The student didn’t even acknowledge him and instead pulled out his Iphone and started scrolling through it to check for messages. Although it irritated Jose, he tamped down his feelings and told himself that it was better than having someone outright display their impatience with his searching. And yes, it did sting to be dismissed so lightly, but he had gotten worse in his years at Cornwall.

Having reminded himself of that, he concentrated on his work and found the books and the proviso that had been typed by Danny and where to locate them.

“I’ll get the books for you, but I have to remind you that you can’t check them out and that all research has to be conducted on site as per your professor’s instructions.” Jose told him as he made a mental note of which shelves behind the desk Danny had tucked the books away in.

The student made a face at the instructions, but didn’t look up from his Iphone until he had finished typing out a text. Once that was done, he looked up and smiled a rueful smile that showed the hint of a missing front tooth.

“Then in that case…where your Russian-English dictionary?”

Jose smiled. Well, that explained the accent, at least. Still didn’t explain how such a tough character was doing at Cornwall. Oh well, it took all kinds, he supposed.

“I can show you that too.” Jose assured him as he turned to fetch the books for him. He came back with a sizeable stack and placed them on the desk.

“Here you go. I’ll take you to the dictionary section.” Jose offered impulsively as he watched the student easily scoop up the books without much effort.

“Good. Thank you.” The student then smiled at Jose, showing what probably had been a brilliant smile before the front tooth had been knocked out. Despite the imperfection, it was an infectious smile and Jose found himself returning it without hesitation. The student’s eyes widened, but he recovered so quickly that Jose had to wonder if it had just been a figment of his imagination and shrugged it off as he led him exactly to the Eastern European languages section.

“Here you go. If you need any more help just go to the desk.” Jose told him.

“You be there…ah! I not know your name. How I ask for help? Oh! I am Alex!” He exclaimed as he put his books on a nearby cart so that he could both look at the dictionaries on the shelf and offer his large hand for Jose to shake. Jose laughed softly at the gesture, but was oddly touched by it nonetheless.

“I’m Jose. Nice to meet you and uh, good luck with your project.” He replied as he shook Alex’s hand and tried to not notice how warm and strong his grip was. Alex grinned in response before he turned to the dictionaries, giving Jose his chance to exit and get back to the desk.

“Where were you?” Sergio asked Jose as he jumped over the partition door to greet him. “And why are you smirking like an idiot? Did you meet someone interesting?”

Before Jose could deny or confirm anything, Sergio’s eyes widened. Curious, Jose turned and saw Alex walking towards one of the carrels.

“Hi Jose!” he called out before he disappeared, making Jose’s face burn, since he didn’t want Sergio or Danny to find out about Alex and start teasing him mercilessly about the possibility of him being an option. Sergio turned to him and was about to say something when Jose basically fled calling out that he was on his lunch break figuring that at that point, discretion was the better part of valour.

Besides, it would give him time to figure out how to deal with the endless deluge of questions and teasing he knew were going to come.

~*~*~*~*
Jose didn’t really expect anything to come out of that encounter. He met tons of different students and staff day in and day out and sometimes even developed some kind of relationship with them. He figured that even though Alex was intriguing, that was as far as anything was going to go. Not only was he part of the student body, he was probably younger than him by about a decade. Even if (and that was a big if) Alex was interested, Jose wasn’t interested in dating someone that he could have baby-sat when he had been in High School.

He’d already done that with Carey, Maxim, Sid and Letang. It had taken him awhile, but he had finally learned his lesson. He wasn’t going to repeat it even if Alex was somehow starting to become a fixture in his life. Like Sergio and Danny and Sheldon, he had somehow wormed his way into the section of his routine. When he didn’t see the younger Russian, the day was just a little flatter and a little duller the same way it was when he didn’t see Danny, or Sergio or Sheldon. He didn’t think much of the way that they gradually started talking about their likes and dislikes and sharing bits and pieces of their lives in odd intervals. Nor did he think much of it when he found himself accepting his clumsily worded invitation for coffee at Sheldon’s café during one of the infamous open mike nights that all the foreign students monopolized and went all out for.

He didn’t feel as if his world was on fire, or that the day just seemed a hundred times better if he saw and talked to Alex. Nor did it feel like it was going to end if he didn’t. Yes, it was nice to see him and sort of lame if he didn’t see Alex, but his entire mood or outlook on life didn’t simply depend on his presence. It was so different than it had been with everyone else that he more or less missed the signs until his friends oh so helpfully decided to clue him into the possibility that Alex probably liked him more than just a casual friend.

“Is your man coming today? It’s Tuesday, so I figured I’d ask.” Danny asked, a big smirk on his face as he rapidly typed up the reserve requests that Jose hadn’t been able to get to that day.

Jose scowled at Danny and threw a wadded up chocolate wrapper in his direction. Danny easily ducked it and then threw it in the bin beside his desk, making Jose’s scowl deepen.

“I don’t have a man, no matter what you or Sergio think.” Jose replied tersely as he got back to writing what seemed like the latest of thousands of emails that needed to be sent out that day. He typed a couple of lines before he turned to look at Danny.

“Besides, why are you all convinced that just because Alex needs research materials he’s suddenly my soul mate?” Jose asked, his voice holding more than a trace of irritation as he spoke.

Danny stopped smirking and actually looked at Jose, rather than just staring at his computer screen.

“He could be that, if you would look deeper than you have been.” Danny paused and Jose could see that he was trying to find the words to get his point across. “It’s not just me. But Shel and Ryan and even the Spanish boy have noticed Alex likes you.”
Jose smiled wryly at that. “Sergio’s judgement isn’t to be trusted. He thinks that any guy who talks to me for more than a few minutes fits that description.”

Danny gave Jose a long look over his reading glasses. “I wasn’t talking about Sergio, Theo. I was referring to Iker, Alex’s friend.”

Jose blinked at Danny, his emotions going from glee to plunging terror as Danny’s words hit him. Even Iker had noticed? Iker, who seemed oblivious to anything other than academics happening around him noticed?

“Fucking shit.” Was all he could whisper as he sat back in his chair and slumped down in it. “This proves it. He is a douchebag. Most normal guys would be three provinces away by now.”

Danny laughed. “Only you would be dismayed at the possibility of a guy like Alex finding you attractive enough to date.”

“Or fuck.” Jose added tersely. Danny sighed. Although he liked Jose and could, on most days, get along with him perfectly well…the self-deprecation was a little hard to take sometimes.

“Even though you probably won’t believe me when I tell you this, I don’t think it’s fair for you to put the guy in the same category as Crosby, Letang and Price. Everyone could see that they were douchebags!” Danny exclaimed.

“And give us all some credit. If he was in that category of douchebaggery, we wouldn’t even let you near him.” He added and then wrinkled his nose. “We all learned our lesson with the other three.”

“Everyone except me, it seemed.” Jose reminded him quietly, making Danny cringe and his usually pale face flush in mortification once he realized what he had just said.

“If it makes you feel any better, you weren’t exactly all there for a while, so give yourself a break. It’s different now. Don’t let all those jerks define your future for you, dude.” Danny pointed out as he pushed his glasses up his nose.

Jose grimaced, but didn’t respond. How could he? They both knew Danny was right. Both he and Sheldon had been there for most of the really ugly parts when Jose’s partying had spiralled from harmless weekend fun to something that nearly cost him everything.

Jose shrugged and turned back to his email. Danny watched him for a few moments before stifling a sigh and returning back to his own work. He knew from experience if he prodded Jose more, he would simply shut down and get mulish about the situation and probably do the exact opposite just to prove a point. Especially when he was convinced that he was doing the right thing.

They had been typing in silence for a good half hour before the conversation picked up in the same place that it had left off.
“Would you pursue it, if you were in the same situation?”” Jose asked, his fingers still flying over his keyboard as he typed.

Danny paused in his own typing and rubbed the back of his neck as he gave the question some thought before he replied.

“Honestly? Yeah. I would.” Danny answered as he sat back in his chair and propped his feet up on his desk.

Jose stopped typing and looked at his friend curiously. “Why?”

“Let’s see here. Okay, he’s decent and treats his friends well. I’ve not seen him stand up any of those guys he hangs around with. He doesn’t leave his carrel a mess when he’s done and always is grateful when you help him. He’s trying to get to know you as a person, instead of a potential lay. He actually talks to you and doesn’t hide your connection and he isn’t pushing you into anything you’re not ready for. He actually is trying to get you and he respects you. And you didn’t meet him in a bar when both of you were stumbling drunk. Good enough reasons?”

Jose actually winced when he heard all of the reasons, and despite it making Danny feel a bit bad for being so blunt, the memory of Jose’s abject misery in his ill-fated forays squelched that emotion pretty fast. He had lost count of how many times he had been there to offer tea and sympathy whenever the latest fling had forgotten to call him back, or stood him up, or had shown up with his new girlfriend. Danny’s hands itched at a still unfulfilled desire to punch Price for the last one. That had been the prelude to a fucktastic day that even though had helped Jose to hit rock bottom and get his shit in order, hadn’t been a pleasant day to get through.

“Yeah…they are.” Jose replied, his voice too forced as he spoke. “I guess that was in short supply when I got involved with someone before, huh?”

“Look, Jose. Maybe I came off as harsh, and I’m really sorry. You’re one of my best friends, and I don’t want to seem as if I am rubbing your nose into your mistakes. Or pressure you to do something that you’re scared or uncomfortable in doing. Sheldon, Ryan, Sergio and I and even Iker know this. We all want what’s best for you. It’s just that you’ve been alone for so long, and this guy maybe good for you, and it would be a shame to give up the opportunity because you’ve made mistakes in the past.”

Jose nodded, but his eyes were avoiding Danny’s. “Yeah, I know. I’m not hurt. Just mad at myself cause I wasted so much time on douchebags, that’s all. And then I got used to being alone…” he trailed off and shrugged his shoulders. “It’s just hard to hope that anything good will happen, you know?”

Danny nodded. “Yeah, I get you. But you won’t know until you try. You can guarantee no one will hurt you by hiding away. But then you won’t ever know if there could have been someone you could love because you avoided being hurt. And with Alex, he’s different. Even if it doesn’t go into relationship territory…it doesn’t hurt to make new friends.”

Jose swallowed hard and nodded. “Yeah, I get you. Uhm…I guess I’ll think about it or something.”

Danny smiled. “Good. You do that.”

Jose returned the smile and both of them went back to work. It wasn’t quite the positive affirmation that Danny was looking for…but it was a start.

Part 2