3rd Birthday and Christmas without family and friends.
Geez. Have i gotten used to it or what. This xmas seemed a little lonely this time. No one to exchange gifts with. No one to have a drink with. No one to hug or kiss. Simple enough im not the only one with the same type of dilemma. Its cool though my head steady bobbin. Its raining here as xmas passes 0023 now on the 26th. I found a DJ Krush show. Im so excited about that. I still havent found a Japanese friend that shares the same thought. My finnish buddy Mikko seems to have the same trouble too. Its understandble in a city of 5 million you want to have your own personal space. It's sad im beginning to grow an impression of how the feel about a gaijin... Even so the fact i am a asian that is not Japanese. I feel a ill sentiment towards us. By all means its not only me that feels that way. I have filipino and chinese friends in the military who feel the same way. I want to believe its not true but it is biased until i have found a genuine Japanese friend to tell me the truth. These cold nights alone without Holly is growing on me. I miss her so much. I don't want to be used to being without her. Even aside the drama she's my best friend. Shit ill even lay it out. Im homesick as fuck. I miss my mother, i miss my marines, I miss my family and friends. I feel as how felt in Iraq. Alone in my way of thought. Mikko has an open awareness too though yet hes an hour away heh.
I've been starting to read Buddhist philosphy.. A lot of it i've seemed to learn on my own already and through the influence of my friends. This nirvana state trips me out the way they describe it. I can swear there was a moment in time i experienced it just once. I can see why it's not a aggresive religion. Its not about superiority of whos God is better. The focus is on the mind. Having few Christian beliefs i can see how it can be melded together. I believe its very tough to put this subject into text. The capacity of explaining it is too great yet so simple. Ill leave it as that before my brain bursts lol.
"The mind is restless, unsteady, hard to guard, hard to control. The wise one makes it straight, like a fletcher straightens an arrow. - Dhammapada "
I guess im far from it eh. Oh yeah i watched Rocky Balboa today. That movie was the shit! I love it. There are some very inspirational quotes to be heard in that movie. Vacation time is up till the 2nd. Sigh I wish i could make better of it. Im glad i broke the stereotype of a typical iraqi vet to one person. That i was not some warmongering soldier. I truly take pride in my job. I find it difficult for some of my other brothers in the same job who act differently. My job to save lives, not take them...
OH YEAH! i found some new music. Theres a Japanese group similar to DJ shadow and Krush called Nujabes. Their music is very soothing to the ear with a down tempo hip hop beat. Its a little similar to the soundtrack of Samurai Champloo.
Geez i miss my dogs cookie and taz...
I've been starting to read Buddhist philosphy.. A lot of it i've seemed to learn on my own already and through the influence of my friends. This nirvana state trips me out the way they describe it. I can swear there was a moment in time i experienced it just once. I can see why it's not a aggresive religion. Its not about superiority of whos God is better. The focus is on the mind. Having few Christian beliefs i can see how it can be melded together. I believe its very tough to put this subject into text. The capacity of explaining it is too great yet so simple. Ill leave it as that before my brain bursts lol.
"The mind is restless, unsteady, hard to guard, hard to control. The wise one makes it straight, like a fletcher straightens an arrow. - Dhammapada "
I guess im far from it eh. Oh yeah i watched Rocky Balboa today. That movie was the shit! I love it. There are some very inspirational quotes to be heard in that movie. Vacation time is up till the 2nd. Sigh I wish i could make better of it. Im glad i broke the stereotype of a typical iraqi vet to one person. That i was not some warmongering soldier. I truly take pride in my job. I find it difficult for some of my other brothers in the same job who act differently. My job to save lives, not take them...
OH YEAH! i found some new music. Theres a Japanese group similar to DJ shadow and Krush called Nujabes. Their music is very soothing to the ear with a down tempo hip hop beat. Its a little similar to the soundtrack of Samurai Champloo.
Geez i miss my dogs cookie and taz...