"Its clear in my head, im screaming for something"
Im sick of this feeling, like im looking for something. Or waiting for something. But I dont know what it is, and i have a sinking feeling i will never find it. Its like my insides are ripping themselves apart, im so disoriented and disorganized. I want so badly for someone to save me from myself before its all over and there is nothing left to save.
I keep myself as busy as possible so maybe i will forget all this. I work my ass off, study my ass off, obbsess over the animals..any thing to distract myself. and when i have nothing to do i get so fucking high or so fucking drunk in an attempt to take it all away. But its not working.
Im thinking about starting conseling again. I think that in itself shows how low i have sunk...i know conseling wont work, it never does, it never has. years and years of talking to people and im still in the same boat. But hell, i will try again...
What else can i do?
Please, somebody take this all away....
I keep myself as busy as possible so maybe i will forget all this. I work my ass off, study my ass off, obbsess over the animals..any thing to distract myself. and when i have nothing to do i get so fucking high or so fucking drunk in an attempt to take it all away. But its not working.
Im thinking about starting conseling again. I think that in itself shows how low i have sunk...i know conseling wont work, it never does, it never has. years and years of talking to people and im still in the same boat. But hell, i will try again...
What else can i do?
Please, somebody take this all away....