Resolutions
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/01/fashion/01change.html?_r=1
"...certain strategies [are] more likely to bring positive results. He boils his conclusions down to four steps.
The first, he said, is to “start with big changes, not small ones,” a strategy likely to yield immediate, noticeable benefits that inspire more positive change.
The second is to act like the kind of person you are trying to become; even if you hit the jogging trail with 30 pounds of flab, think of yourself as the jock you want to be. The third strategy is to “reframe” the situation. Recovering alcoholics, for example, have a higher chance of success if they reframe their sober life as a divorce from a tumultuous love affair with drinking, because they can then look back at their old life as a romantic adventure, rather than a sinkhole of regret.
The fourth, and crucial, strategy, he said, is based on the “don’t do it alone” advice that is the bedrock of 12-step programs.
But even these strategies are up against some bleak numbers when it comes to New Year’s resolutions. John C. Norcross, a clinical psychologist at the University of Scranton in Pennsylvania who has studied such resolutions, has found that after six months, only about 45 percent of the subjects managed to stick to their pledges.
Still, Dr. Norcross noted, 45 percent is a respectable success rate. “No one would expect one tennis lesson to make one a pro,” he said.
Or one gig to make you a rock star.
Aaron Agulnek, a lawyer in Sharon, Mass., spent much of 2008 wondering why he failed on his resolution to perform solo at a local open-mic night at least once, as a way to overcome stage fright. “Being in the profession I’m in, I thought that it would make sense to conquer that fear,” said Mr. Agulnek, 30. “I’ll tell you, there’s nothing better for that than standing on stage with your bad voice and an acoustic guitar.”
He is still grappling with why his resolution failed. “Psychologically, maybe I’m not ready,” Mr. Agulnek concluded.
But that conclusion may have been the problem, Dr. Jacobs said. Many resolutions fail, she said, because people assume they have to be ready for a change before they make it. In reality, she said, “the only thing that convinces the brain that it is O.K. to change is to see it change.” Mr. Agulnek’s mind, in other words, will only conclude that it is safe to perform on stage after it sees him survive the experience.
“Don’t listen to your feelings,” Dr. Jacobs said. “Feelings lie.”
But they also evolve, at least to judge by Oprah Winfrey’s experience. While she is back on the treadmill and off the carbs, Ms. Winfrey is talking about different objectives.
“My goal isn’t to be thin,” she wrote in O. “My goal is for my body to be the weight it can hold - to be strong and healthy and fit, to be itself.”
In concluding this, she may have stumbled across a more realistic form of change for 2009: self-acceptance."
"...certain strategies [are] more likely to bring positive results. He boils his conclusions down to four steps.
The first, he said, is to “start with big changes, not small ones,” a strategy likely to yield immediate, noticeable benefits that inspire more positive change.
The second is to act like the kind of person you are trying to become; even if you hit the jogging trail with 30 pounds of flab, think of yourself as the jock you want to be. The third strategy is to “reframe” the situation. Recovering alcoholics, for example, have a higher chance of success if they reframe their sober life as a divorce from a tumultuous love affair with drinking, because they can then look back at their old life as a romantic adventure, rather than a sinkhole of regret.
The fourth, and crucial, strategy, he said, is based on the “don’t do it alone” advice that is the bedrock of 12-step programs.
But even these strategies are up against some bleak numbers when it comes to New Year’s resolutions. John C. Norcross, a clinical psychologist at the University of Scranton in Pennsylvania who has studied such resolutions, has found that after six months, only about 45 percent of the subjects managed to stick to their pledges.
Still, Dr. Norcross noted, 45 percent is a respectable success rate. “No one would expect one tennis lesson to make one a pro,” he said.
Or one gig to make you a rock star.
Aaron Agulnek, a lawyer in Sharon, Mass., spent much of 2008 wondering why he failed on his resolution to perform solo at a local open-mic night at least once, as a way to overcome stage fright. “Being in the profession I’m in, I thought that it would make sense to conquer that fear,” said Mr. Agulnek, 30. “I’ll tell you, there’s nothing better for that than standing on stage with your bad voice and an acoustic guitar.”
He is still grappling with why his resolution failed. “Psychologically, maybe I’m not ready,” Mr. Agulnek concluded.
But that conclusion may have been the problem, Dr. Jacobs said. Many resolutions fail, she said, because people assume they have to be ready for a change before they make it. In reality, she said, “the only thing that convinces the brain that it is O.K. to change is to see it change.” Mr. Agulnek’s mind, in other words, will only conclude that it is safe to perform on stage after it sees him survive the experience.
“Don’t listen to your feelings,” Dr. Jacobs said. “Feelings lie.”
But they also evolve, at least to judge by Oprah Winfrey’s experience. While she is back on the treadmill and off the carbs, Ms. Winfrey is talking about different objectives.
“My goal isn’t to be thin,” she wrote in O. “My goal is for my body to be the weight it can hold - to be strong and healthy and fit, to be itself.”
In concluding this, she may have stumbled across a more realistic form of change for 2009: self-acceptance."