Using abortion to achieve a specific gender birth

[reality_hammer]

Utterly disgusting.
The board has now responded that such requests and thus abortions can not be refused and that it is not possible to deny a woman an abortion up to the 18th week of pregnancy, even if the foetus's gender is the basis for the request.

"Designer children" can't be far behind.

Comments

[baka_neko314]

Not meaning to be rude at all, but what are your thoughts of if the condom breaks, the pill doesn't work and Plan B fails? I know the chance is highly unlikely, but granted, there's still a chance yes? Again, curiosity.

Also, chemical birth control is up to 98% effective. I've known plenty of people who it has failed on more than once and they were taking it every day at the same time and weren't on any sort of antibiotics.

I've never heard of Walgreens carrying Plan B. A lot of places have it as prescription only and some of the more restrictive states make it difficult to obtain even then. One of my friends in rural PA is never able to get it when she goes into get more nuva rings because "she doesn't need it". I see her asking as a way of being prepared. Hell, I have an IUD (mirena) and I still have a back up Plan B just in case a friend needs one (this has come up before).

I think another way to reduce the amount of unneeded abortions among teens (who's parents force them to get them) would be to have better sex education. I've talked to a good handful of friends all over the country who claim to have only gotten abstinence only sex education. They were baffled when I told them my sex ed teach made us all put a condom on a banana to practice.

Anyways, many thanks for your potential response. ^^

[julietvalcouer]

You can buy it here at Walgreen's, CVS...never asked at Hannaford's or Wal-Mart.

If EVERYTHING fails and you're not going to physically die, you suck up and spend nine months pregnant. If you can't afford/aren't in a position to raise it, call an adoption attorney. If you're not carrying any random genetic illnesses, odds are you will have a family more than willing to pick up the tab and the kid. (Just no changing your mind once you say yes. That's cruel and if they're writing checks, arguably fraud.) If you aren't prepared to deal with even that tiny eventuality, don't have penetrative heterosexual sex. One CAN live without it.

And honestly, what teens need to learn, starting before they're teens, is first, do as you're told, and second, you're not ready to have sex if you're a teen. (I don't understand why they want to, anyway. Teenage males are disgusting and older men who like teen girls have control issues.) And if you do the first, they'll obey the second. Hormones are easily overridden by proper upbringing, especially when they're rewarded for obedience.

[baka_neko314]

*nod* Ok, I'm still led to believe that Planned Parenthood is the closest you can get to OTC Plan B here. Where is here for you? I'm over in Salem, OR.

See, this is something my mother and I have debated over for YEARS. I personally couldn't have an abortion (just because I'd rather not fuck with my own body chemistry) and while I don't think my beliefs should restrict others, I technically am pro-choice. My mother, on the other hand, had a terrible experience with Washington state adoption companies, both with placing her an abusive home. But I guess the checks in the 60's were a lot less strict. So the biggest thing between us, was when I was 14 and she told me that if I ever got pregnant before turning 18, she was getting me an abortion. My response was "Fuck you." So ya know. Hence also why I've been on the pill or had an IUD for longer than when I've been having sex.

I don't ever think that 100% of teens will "do what they're told". I'd like to think so, but I know it won't happen. Also, they may not be ready to have sex, but if they are, they will be dealing with the consequence of their own actions. My husband already wants to get our potential girls on BC when they start menstruating (which I've told him no on, as that'll fuck shit up too) and wants to shove as much sex education into the boys' as well as the girls' brains as possible. My hormones weren't overridden by proper upbringing, but I'm not a filthy whore like both of my cousins who have illegitimate children, abortions and pregnancy before marriage on their tabs. >_> But they're also not smart, nor nice, so that have something to do with my view.

[julietvalcouer]

If you punish them the right way at an early age, they'll learn to not step out of line. My parents never had to hit me to punish me--just took away all my toys and TV in kindergarten and I got them back one at a time when I didn't get notes from the teacher, and then once in grade school no TV or desserts for a month. Whereas, don't fuck up, get everything, pretty much, you want. (Well, except large parrots, indoor cats, or any rodents or reptiles. I did get the ponies.) For a teenager, that meant don't run with the wrong crowd, don't fuck around, get to stay out til 1am at the community theater cast party, get to take the car to Dearborn with friends all day, etc.

Just teach them, sex (especially with teenage boys) is not worth no credit cards, use of the car, no curfew, etc. It helps that most teenage boys are not exactly sexually attractive, but still, some girls are apparently dumb. Money, "toys", and privileges are worth more than relationships that are dead-end by definition.

And yeah, tell your husband birth control pills are not necessarily fun. MOST people don't have a problem, but still. (I have visual migraines--no Pill/ring/patch allowed. The stroke risk is high.)

[baka_neko314]

See, punish means different things to different people. I figured you mean t the hitting sort, which I'm not so keen on. The taking away of privileges I'm all for, even if my parents were taking things away from me that I paid money on, that they weren't helping me pay for in any way because of something at school that they knew was an issue. So ya know, sour taste in my mouth when it comes to restricting me from using my own car that I pay for. That sort of shit.

Credit cards?I don't understand parents who let their kids run off with a credit card of theirs. Also, what's with the hate towards teen boys?

Oh, trust me. I've already put my foot down with my husband about the birth control issue. I want them to be on it in some form, but I don't want to force it on them nor do I want to screw up their body chemistry.

[julietvalcouer]

Hitting you generally only need to do once, and they get the point, and if they're already teens, the horse is long out of the barn on that one.

I never had a car of my own until I was twenty-one. (All my friends at college who had them graduated the year ahead.) I just never needed one. Less than a mile to school, Mom went along for my 101 lessons in various things anyway, why spend the money? I could borrow theirs if I needed one. Then when that car got old I swapped with them for my grandmother's old car (aka TeenyCar.) If an adult barely needs a car, most kids living in cities don't really need one, either. Not letting them buy one also means you have one more thing to hold over them.

I've always had a card (in my name, their account.) I still do, actually. With my name on it, it gets me a better credit rating so I never have trouble getting my own accounts. (Of course I've also always had stocks, bonds, dividends, my own savings and checking accounts...I just didn't have any personal control until I was in my twenties. I could have asked before then, but I really didn't see the point.)

What's with the love for teen boys? They're not physically mature enough to be sexually attractive and almost none have any money or resources to make it worth putting up with that. Very few are worth having much of a conversation with. Better to wait until you're old enough to date up without it being creepy. The men are better looking out of college and can pay for nicer stuff.

[baka_neko314]

I had my own car when I was seventeen, that I was paying for with the money I was making at my job. Granted, the job pickings were slim in 2002 so I ended up working in the next town over about 8 miles away. I borrowed my parent's car to get around (which I hated) so I went out of my way to get my own car.

I never had a card in my name on my parentals credit cards. Granted, I've used my mother's card once and even though I paid her back for the purchase when I said I would, she refused to ever let me use it again. This especially sucked when I wanted to go visit my now-husband at his place in Kentucky, as I'm a poor college student. Luckily a friend of mine was generous and let me use her card, and I paid her on time like my mother would have been so I don't get my mom's reluctance. On top of that, my parents have filed for bankruptcy twice. The first time I don't remember the reason. The second time was for the most BS reason ever: My brother got sick and was hospitalized for two weeks at two different hospitals. My parents were both on unemployment and didn't have health insurance. The hospital aide committee said they made too much money on unemployment to qualify for further aide. So they filed for bankruptcy. Their credit hasn't fully recovered, and really I've done fine building my own credit, paying for school myself (even if their income is fucking up my chances at grants), paying for a car, all that.

I had several male friends in high school that I'm still friends with now. I think I dated a grand total of two guys and a girl my entire high school years and I found that the girl was the worst of all of them for me, based on manipulation, how well she treated me and overall bitchiness. And I'm not sure if I agree with the concept of older men having more money, since money never factored in very much in any of my relationships, previous or otherwise. granted yes, I'm happy my husband can pay bills, but I also hung out with the financially responsible teens when I was in HS. Almost all of us had jobs. So I dunno.

[julietvalcouer]

I might date someone who has less money than me, but never seriously. Long-term, one has to think about something other than warm fuzzy feelings. The romance will eventually fizzle out, but you still need to have a roof over your head and you need something else to talk about. So intelligent (not necessarily "educated" as the degree doesn't always tell you much) and well off. Also ideally not someone who likes children as I would then not be the girl for him.

I never had a job until after grad school. I wouldn't have had time, especially with the horse and theater and cramming every extra-curricular I could in for the college resume (it worked, I got into easily the most selective school of anyone in my class.) Then in college, most people did work study at most (there aren't really jobs outside the school where I went, the town's too small and isolated) because we were too busy academically (a lot of people there crack up. It's a bit high pressure.) Then there's grad school. Internships basically ARE your job.

I don't think I've spoken to anyone from high school in years, but then I live nine hundred miles away and started by going to college four states away. A few of them friended me on Facebook, though oddly enough most aren't people I spoke with much--they dont' seem to be on facebook. Actually a couple don't even come up on google, and that's really falling off the face of the earth.

[baka_neko314]

If I were to date someone with less money than me, then they wouldn't have a job. But that's only because my job is only part time because of school. Both of the men I'm with want children and I'm ok with that... in like 4 years. And they understand this.

I'm finishing up my fourth year of my bachelor degree at the moment. I chose to retake some classes for better grades on my transcript so its causing me to be a tad behind in graduating this year, like I should be. I'm not bothered by this though. I have my MAT program starting up next summer that will go for a year, so whee. As far as not having a job until after Grad school, that's not a possibility since I HAD to have a job to pay for my own expenses when I was a teen. My parents tended to have money problems, and at one point, both of them had lost their jobs. So in order for me to have a car to get around and the other things I needed for school, like an internet connection and money to pay for field trips and extra class supplies, I needed a job to pay for that. I didn't have much of anything handed to me. I think my parents are still kicking themselves for making me TOO independent as I've proven I haven't needed them for much of anything since I was about 18.

I didn't move very far to go to college. I only live an hour away from my parents house. This is nice because its far enough away that they can't drop in on me, my husband and our partner without knowing in advance, but it also means family gatherings are easier since we aren't so far off. Some days I stop and think about how I miss high school. Then I look at some of my friends and what they've done with themselves since high school (most of them are or have been pregnant at least once) and I'm not to wistful. I just miss some of the social networking.

[julietvalcouer]

Honestly, the most together of my friends from high school (well, she went to a different school but I'd known her for years) got pregnant and dropped out. But she married the guy, and they have three kids and a house now, so really it worked out better for her than most of the rest of us.

I just never needed a job. In theory even now I could go for a bit if I felt like selling Chevron off, but I'd prefer to only do that if I have to for a down payment on a house. I thought about dumping some to get a down payment on a truck, or just the whole purchase price of one, but the taxes involved would be awful so I'll wait until I get the hell out of MA! (Never move here. I have four jobs, make less than $30k/year, get a federal refund and had to pay the state $600 in taxes. They only help you out if you're an unwed mother and preferably here illegally. If you work and haven't done something stupid, you're paying for everyone else.)

My backup school was an hour from home, but I fell in love with my university when I went for an interview. And I don't think I'd have done well at a school with lectures of two hundred people--that was half my freshman class at my school.

And hey, my friend was a fifth-year senior because she bombed organic the first time and she went to med school. Sometimes you take longer to graduate. (And some of us keep meaning to go back because we can't make up our minds...)

[baka_neko314]

Of the few I remember, the most together of my friends are either married without children, just finishing college or have finished college and are starting careers. I can think of a few who got pregnant and have a husband now with the house and all that, but that was less than the norm when I hear about some of my friends who got pregnant. Makes me happy I never went down that road. I'm too selfish for kids right now and I don't get anyone under 24 who does have kids. Hell if you do, good for you, I just don't get it. I'd rather be out enjoying myself.

You're lucky to have not needed a job ^_^ Also, as far as never moving to MA, I hadn't planned on it. I like Oregon way too much, even if my husband still comments that my state is broken since it rains, hails, is sunny, (insert weather pattern here) all in the course of 10 minutes. Or when it rains, without a cloud in the sky while the sun is beaming down. :) It amuses me that it confuses him so.

I don't think I really had a back up school. I just know that I wanted a way to continue not living with my parents if I didn't have to. I had moved out for a year before returning home to go to college and I moved back out again at the beginning of my third year, mostly because I got tired of my mother trying to push curfews on me in the middle of the summer when I was 19, paying all my bills and not doing anything to irk her. My dad stared at her and stated that I wouldn't have a curfew, as that was silly. Thankfully, Dad won out on that one and I continued to not have a curfew. I think I would have started looking for an apartment and a roommate at that very second if he had backed her up.

The part of being a fifth-year senior doesn't bother me at all. I'm just pleased I can have a few terms of 12 credits instead of the 16 and 17 credit loads I've been doing since my freshman year.