Recession over!
Government sponsored researchers proclaimed that the recession ended...last year.
That's right, you've been un(der)employed for the past year for no good reason! Don't you feel silly?!
The researchers showed a chart with a huge upswing in the economy soon after Obama took office in 2009.
"We got our data models from our friends over at the IPCC," said the economists at NBER. "We were talking about our need for specific type of chart and they said 'hey, we've got one of those!' and that was that."
Democrats were quick to trumpet the good news, stating that "anyone who still claims to be suffering from this 'alleged' recession is obviously a bigoted racist teabagger who hates the fact that a black man is President."
When asked why all the indicators the NBER used to claim a recession had started in December of 2007 are worse now in an alleged recovery than they were back in 2007 the NBER spokesperson stated "we are aware that there are economic deniers out there who think the Earth is flat. Our updated data sampling estimates for the previous eight years will clearly demonstrate that any poor economic performances were all Bush's fault and everything is better now since Obama is President."
When asked why estimates will be used when they have real data that could be used the spokesperson replied, "shut up".
That's right, you've been un(der)employed for the past year for no good reason! Don't you feel silly?!
The researchers showed a chart with a huge upswing in the economy soon after Obama took office in 2009.
"We got our data models from our friends over at the IPCC," said the economists at NBER. "We were talking about our need for specific type of chart and they said 'hey, we've got one of those!' and that was that."
Democrats were quick to trumpet the good news, stating that "anyone who still claims to be suffering from this 'alleged' recession is obviously a bigoted racist teabagger who hates the fact that a black man is President."
When asked why all the indicators the NBER used to claim a recession had started in December of 2007 are worse now in an alleged recovery than they were back in 2007 the NBER spokesperson stated "we are aware that there are economic deniers out there who think the Earth is flat. Our updated data sampling estimates for the previous eight years will clearly demonstrate that any poor economic performances were all Bush's fault and everything is better now since Obama is President."
When asked why estimates will be used when they have real data that could be used the spokesperson replied, "shut up".