NaNo + Me = Disaster! Save Me!
The world’s gone to hell. It’s ironic, really. It’s paradise on earth and all he feels is hell.
Nothing matters anymore. His brother Sam is dead. Castiel is dead. And Dean wishes he were dead, too. Wishes it every day.
But he made a promise and Dean Winchester doesn’t go back on his promises. If it were up to him he would’ve put a gun to his head a long time ago.
He promised Sam he’d live. So he lives every single fucking day. He hunts. It’s what he’s always been best at it.
He eats. He showers. He sleeps. He wishes he could take back his promise, but he lives.
If Sam had known what living was going to mean to Dean, he never would’ve made him promise to live. He supposes Sam thought Cas would survive. Too bad he didn’t. Too bad they didn’t.
Everyone’s dead. At least everyone he’s ever cared about. Bobby is dead. Ellen and Jo? Dead.
He was supposed to die, too. He should’ve died with them. Except he didn’t. They went behind his back. Thought they were doing what was best for him. He wishes he could hate them both for doing this to him.
For leaving him in this godforsaken world.
Sure, it’s all smiles and laughter these days. But where’s God? God doesn’t exist. Because if he did, then Sam and Cas would still be alive. God didn’t save this world. They did. They went and got themselves killed. Hooray, at least they defeated Lucifer. Saved the world. Everyone’s happy. Except Dean. And he can’t hate them. He loves them too much. Instead he hates himself. Himself and God.
So what if they left Dean behind?
Everyone leaves him anyways.
He marks the end of another day on his calendar and gets into bed.