(no subject)
sufjan stevens michigan is so so good. especially when everything else is not.
i asked my mom if i could see a therapist...she seemed a little too compliant. oh well. i hope it is helpful.
i just don't see what happened. all of my friends love their colleges and everything's just dandy.
why did i have to be the one to turn out all fucked up...who was the only friend in the group who had an eating disorder? oh, me. who was the only one to do drugs? oh, me.
still the discontent one. blah.
i was reading my story for french in greyfriar's, and outside was a bunch of girls who graduated the year below me (this year) and they were ALL smoking cigarettes and it just made me really grossed out/kind of sad. i'm no one to cast stones as i've put some pretty mean substances in my body but still...why are you all smoking.
darnit, i just got a text from alessandra and it made me start crying again.
everyone in my lab group is so stupid. like...really not smart. i dont even care about dressing cute anymore because all the girls dress like sluts and all the boys look like the type that appreciate that. although i did get a random facebook message from some guy that said: you had some sick nikes on today.
SUCK. i don't have any more fruit. tomorrow is a good day not to eat anyway. maybe this sounds weird, but not eating makes me feel so clean and pure. ...yeah that mainly sounds anorexic but...it just feels clean.
i asked my mom if i could see a therapist...she seemed a little too compliant. oh well. i hope it is helpful.
i just don't see what happened. all of my friends love their colleges and everything's just dandy.
why did i have to be the one to turn out all fucked up...who was the only friend in the group who had an eating disorder? oh, me. who was the only one to do drugs? oh, me.
still the discontent one. blah.
i was reading my story for french in greyfriar's, and outside was a bunch of girls who graduated the year below me (this year) and they were ALL smoking cigarettes and it just made me really grossed out/kind of sad. i'm no one to cast stones as i've put some pretty mean substances in my body but still...why are you all smoking.
darnit, i just got a text from alessandra and it made me start crying again.
everyone in my lab group is so stupid. like...really not smart. i dont even care about dressing cute anymore because all the girls dress like sluts and all the boys look like the type that appreciate that. although i did get a random facebook message from some guy that said: you had some sick nikes on today.
SUCK. i don't have any more fruit. tomorrow is a good day not to eat anyway. maybe this sounds weird, but not eating makes me feel so clean and pure. ...yeah that mainly sounds anorexic but...it just feels clean.