Angie's Misadventures with Duck Feculence
So there I was, sopping wet, waist deep in duck excrement (and yes, I could hear those damn things laughing at me from their stupid little island in the middle of the lake), and wishing so badly that this had happened to another boat and not ours.
*pause* -_-...
I suppose it's best to start from the beginning. The company that Andrew and I work for hosted their yearly company picnic. It was in an area that was quite nice: solitary, lots of vegetation, a giant lake, etc. Andrew and I went with our families, including Andrew's little brother, his friend, Ron, and Ron's brother, George (all of whom play WoW with us). All six of us decided to take a canoe trip around the lake- peaceful, right? RIGHT?! Andrew, George, and I went in one canoe, and Andrew's little brother, Craig, and Ron went in another. We were heading back when Craig and Ron began to have some issues, so we turned around and begin paddling towards them. It seems the higher powers did not want us to do this, because someone started leaning one way, another leaned the opposite way... and, of course, chaos ensued. It was inevitable that we were going to tip, so as the canoe tipped to the side, I pushed myself outward with my arms into the water to avoid splashing in and covering my head. Much to my shock, the lake was only waist deep, thus I floated out into the water and began swimming for no reason (I could have just stood up...). The ground squished between my toes (my sandals had flown off) and I realized, with quite a horrific look on my face, that the squishy substance was not mud.
Everyone around had stopped to look at our misfortune. I was freaking out, making noises akin to the cartoons when a housewife would see a mouse in the kitchen. I was afraid to move, not only because of all squishiness under my feet, but because the smell was so bad it had paralyzed me. Craig and Ron had paddled over to see if we were okay, and I got out of my trance long enough to walk over and grab onto their canoe, giving them the ultimate chibi Angie eyes as I tried wrapping my legs around the nose of their vessel. This was met with evil glares and raised paddles as they commanded that "I let go of their boat because if I caused them to tip over, so help them...". With quivering lips and watered eyes, I reluctantly let go of the boat, hoping I was able to at least stab them a bit with guilt.
I then begin moving towards the shore. It was SO HORRID. The excrement was squishing between my toes, and I must have slipped five times just trying to make it to shore. The lake was man-made, and so there was cement on the shores- which were steep and covered in slimy green goo. I attempted countless times to try and gain enough momentum to get onto the shore, only to be met with failure as I splashed back into the water. George had come up next to me, and I helped heave him up so that he could pull me up.
Thankfully, we were only a few minuets from home. So Andrew and I raced back home so that I could scour myself with a brillo pad and take a shower. Anyway... yeah. That's why Andrew has no phone right now. I thank the higher powers that our photo-hungry co-worker, Shannon, was not anywhere near the scene.
P.S. I also know I already told you this at Jennifer's birthday party, Ru, but I needed to get it down on [virtual] paper so I can't deny it later. I'm so evil to myself.
P.P.S. I just realized how fitting my current music is. >_>..
*pause* -_-...
I suppose it's best to start from the beginning. The company that Andrew and I work for hosted their yearly company picnic. It was in an area that was quite nice: solitary, lots of vegetation, a giant lake, etc. Andrew and I went with our families, including Andrew's little brother, his friend, Ron, and Ron's brother, George (all of whom play WoW with us). All six of us decided to take a canoe trip around the lake- peaceful, right? RIGHT?! Andrew, George, and I went in one canoe, and Andrew's little brother, Craig, and Ron went in another. We were heading back when Craig and Ron began to have some issues, so we turned around and begin paddling towards them. It seems the higher powers did not want us to do this, because someone started leaning one way, another leaned the opposite way... and, of course, chaos ensued. It was inevitable that we were going to tip, so as the canoe tipped to the side, I pushed myself outward with my arms into the water to avoid splashing in and covering my head. Much to my shock, the lake was only waist deep, thus I floated out into the water and began swimming for no reason (I could have just stood up...). The ground squished between my toes (my sandals had flown off) and I realized, with quite a horrific look on my face, that the squishy substance was not mud.
Everyone around had stopped to look at our misfortune. I was freaking out, making noises akin to the cartoons when a housewife would see a mouse in the kitchen. I was afraid to move, not only because of all squishiness under my feet, but because the smell was so bad it had paralyzed me. Craig and Ron had paddled over to see if we were okay, and I got out of my trance long enough to walk over and grab onto their canoe, giving them the ultimate chibi Angie eyes as I tried wrapping my legs around the nose of their vessel. This was met with evil glares and raised paddles as they commanded that "I let go of their boat because if I caused them to tip over, so help them...". With quivering lips and watered eyes, I reluctantly let go of the boat, hoping I was able to at least stab them a bit with guilt.
I then begin moving towards the shore. It was SO HORRID. The excrement was squishing between my toes, and I must have slipped five times just trying to make it to shore. The lake was man-made, and so there was cement on the shores- which were steep and covered in slimy green goo. I attempted countless times to try and gain enough momentum to get onto the shore, only to be met with failure as I splashed back into the water. George had come up next to me, and I helped heave him up so that he could pull me up.
Thankfully, we were only a few minuets from home. So Andrew and I raced back home so that I could scour myself with a brillo pad and take a shower. Anyway... yeah. That's why Andrew has no phone right now. I thank the higher powers that our photo-hungry co-worker, Shannon, was not anywhere near the scene.
P.S. I also know I already told you this at Jennifer's birthday party, Ru, but I needed to get it down on [virtual] paper so I can't deny it later. I'm so evil to myself.
P.P.S. I just realized how fitting my current music is. >_>..