Finally
We can all breathe a sigh of relief as my husband turns in the thing that nearly made me kill him: the 60 page paper that he waited until the last minute to do. He spent the whole of last week at his parents to write it as me and KK are too much of a distraction for him. He left me here alone with the baby and the dog, in a third floor freezing cold apartment where the heating is not working properly. He would come over here and there and sometimes he would say he was coming and wouldn't, and that felt weird, like a friend coming to visit. I managed to make some things for Thanksgiving dinner but I took them over to his parents (who never tasted sweet potatoes or stuffing or pumpkin pie or pecan pie before) and that ruined KK's sleep schedule. We still haven't gotten that back in order. His parents were watching his nieces (5 yrs and 1 yr old) and let the 1 year old cry it out (more than once) yet think I need to consider leaving my son with them at 8 months so that I can go out. There is no way I will consider it now that I know how they reacted to our neice's needs, and beyond that they seem to read every signal that a child gives in the wrong way. My sister in law has 4 daughters and since the youngest one was born, my husband's mom has been really weird about her, and seemed really annoyed with her when we were there. I nearly went in the room to take care of the little girl myself, but I didn't know if I had the place to do it. She isn't my child and since Raph's parents like to tell me (and their friends like to tell me too) how I could be better parenting and I don't like it, I thought I should keep my mouth shut. And I wonder about the little girls at their own home, since I heard the 5 year old say it was ok for the baby to cry some. She wouldn't say that if she didn't hear it at home. I guess I can imagine that once you have 4 children maybe you give up a little easier on your Cry It Out stance, you know? But I doubt I ever could. I just cannot understand why people let babies cry if they can help it.
Anyway, I have kind of gotten off topic here. I really have tried not to be annoyed with my husband about this, although at the beginning of the week there was no letting it go. I was so mad that he put me in this position to be by myself again. But then I remembered that overall I do pretty much everything by myself with Karlo. That sounds pretty dramatic but it is really this way in my eyes. I have to put the child to sleep for every sleep because for whatever reason, the baby won't fall asleep with my husband. I guess the reason is because my husband gives up very easily when he tries. He could put him to sleep if he had a little patience. After our week this week he has promised that he will try harder. I hope so. I believe he can do it. I wish I could get him to wear Karlo but he hasn't figured out the sling. I am hoping if I get something else like a Mei Tai we can wear him more, which I think would be much easier on us both. KK is the kind of high needs baby that I think needs to be carried or worn and should have been breastfed longer. But we can't dwell on how we have already failed our son. I mean, I can't. I can only keep trying to do better. And if that means rocking him to sleep at every sleep then so be it. I think I owe him that much.
And speaking of babies....this "friend" of mine on facebook (someone who was a friend in high school) is pregnant. And I don't know....I feel jealous. I mean, I can hardly handle what I have right here in front of me and I think I want another baby??? I guess it's because I know that our having another is really far off. Besides waiting the year after the Csection, there is also the fact that when we move to Texas next year I am going to have to get a job, and then work at least one or 2 years before we have another. But there is something so appealing about the expectation, I guess, about the waiting and the hope and the wonder of a child coming into your life. I am just such a freak and get so affected by stress. I shouldn't even be considering having another baby. But when Karlo smiles...
Anyway, I have kind of gotten off topic here. I really have tried not to be annoyed with my husband about this, although at the beginning of the week there was no letting it go. I was so mad that he put me in this position to be by myself again. But then I remembered that overall I do pretty much everything by myself with Karlo. That sounds pretty dramatic but it is really this way in my eyes. I have to put the child to sleep for every sleep because for whatever reason, the baby won't fall asleep with my husband. I guess the reason is because my husband gives up very easily when he tries. He could put him to sleep if he had a little patience. After our week this week he has promised that he will try harder. I hope so. I believe he can do it. I wish I could get him to wear Karlo but he hasn't figured out the sling. I am hoping if I get something else like a Mei Tai we can wear him more, which I think would be much easier on us both. KK is the kind of high needs baby that I think needs to be carried or worn and should have been breastfed longer. But we can't dwell on how we have already failed our son. I mean, I can't. I can only keep trying to do better. And if that means rocking him to sleep at every sleep then so be it. I think I owe him that much.
And speaking of babies....this "friend" of mine on facebook (someone who was a friend in high school) is pregnant. And I don't know....I feel jealous. I mean, I can hardly handle what I have right here in front of me and I think I want another baby??? I guess it's because I know that our having another is really far off. Besides waiting the year after the Csection, there is also the fact that when we move to Texas next year I am going to have to get a job, and then work at least one or 2 years before we have another. But there is something so appealing about the expectation, I guess, about the waiting and the hope and the wonder of a child coming into your life. I am just such a freak and get so affected by stress. I shouldn't even be considering having another baby. But when Karlo smiles...