Manic. Just ignore me.
I wonder what it would be like to be one of those people that just has sooooo much to do and so many people to hang out with that they cant even make enough time for all of them. Many of my friends are like this. And it seems Im just waiting around for each of them to make time for little ole me in their busy scheduals. Hell yea Im resentful. Just because Im so fucking lonely and bored. I cant even find a job for christs sakes. So, nothing to do day in and out, and no one to hang out with. Even if I did, I wouldnt have any money to do anything. Not that it would even matter. As long as someone could squeeze me in. Honestly, the last friend who called me was Josh, and thats just depressing because I know we cant even hang out. Kelly is the only friend who calls. I saw George, who I could see whenever I wanted except for the car situation which is sucky. Just like mine. Mallory is miles away, Neils gone, Corines gone. Erik, who I would probably have a lot of fun with is only 1000 miles away. Same with a half a dozen people in NYC. Whatever happened to Roe? She is never online. Lets see...Anne, busy. Josh is far with no transportation. Kelly is really the only friend who makes an effort to see me, and shes probably more busy than anyone I know. Kelli is far away and Danielle is too busy with her 14 year old best friend...whatever. Heather has offically gone AWOL and everyone else I havent seen in years or have yet to meet. And you only leave so many messages before you just give up. Its pointless to just keep bothering someone if they cant or dont want to hang out. I mean, probably the biggest thing is that its such a hassle to hang out because of my lack of transportation...but this summer is pretty pathetic. I just want to have someone to talk to, and because I dont really have that I bother people who dont even really know me. Like Kellys friend Brent. And Erik. Writing emails all the time with no reply. I can be really annoying. I mean livejournal is a nice place to just ramble, but its nice to get a little feed back. Conversation for christs sake.
Im so despreret for attention that I beg George to come over when I know its difficult with the car thing and now hes sick. I even called my mom to see if she could come have dinner with me...she cant. Ugh, I'll be fine, Im just having trouble adjusting to this. And the job thing is really getting to me, Im going to get shit from my dad if I dont get one. As lonely as I am, Id rather not hear from anyone if it meant I didnt have to get a fucking lecture from my dad for at least a week.
I just watched Resevoir Dogs for the first time. I dont know what all the hype is about. I didnt think it was that great. Not even close to pulp fiction. And Terentino, youre an excelent director, but jesus man, you cant act. Just stay out of your movies, you look like a complete asswipe. The best part of the whole movie was Steven Wright as the radio DJ. The bonus material had some interview with some famus crimial and he was completely ragging on the entire movie. Why would anyone put that with the movie? He said something like that every one of the guys was lame and if he was ever caught with them to shoot him right then and there. I mean, they really didnt know what the hell they were doing. And the suits and ray bands...really contrived. Arent they supposed to be keeping a low profile? Well, that they obviously did not do. The "Stuck in the Middle with you" was a good scene. The music was really the only thing that made it good. I dunno.Highly overrated.
I have to do something. Im going crazy with this anger. I havent felt this shitty in a while. Its probably the change. I dont know, I just feel like bitching and carrying on and that in itself pisses me off and then I need to bitch some more. Fuck. Im mad. Im such an after thought. And its really true. To hell with it. To hell with it all. Its the same story all over again. My mom told me long ago we were cursed to be too caring and constantly walked over. Its nothing new and its no surprise. The truth is most people only pay attention to me when they want something. Sex, money, someone to complain to, etc. Or if they just happen to think of me one day and they have nothing better to do.
And honestly, if youre reading this and feeling bad or are mad because you dont think its true..then fucking do something about it. NO, dont leave a comment, because it never usually goes anywhere. You have my number. Ive just been waiting here for you to call.
Fuck, Im getting out of here before I break something.
Im so despreret for attention that I beg George to come over when I know its difficult with the car thing and now hes sick. I even called my mom to see if she could come have dinner with me...she cant. Ugh, I'll be fine, Im just having trouble adjusting to this. And the job thing is really getting to me, Im going to get shit from my dad if I dont get one. As lonely as I am, Id rather not hear from anyone if it meant I didnt have to get a fucking lecture from my dad for at least a week.
I just watched Resevoir Dogs for the first time. I dont know what all the hype is about. I didnt think it was that great. Not even close to pulp fiction. And Terentino, youre an excelent director, but jesus man, you cant act. Just stay out of your movies, you look like a complete asswipe. The best part of the whole movie was Steven Wright as the radio DJ. The bonus material had some interview with some famus crimial and he was completely ragging on the entire movie. Why would anyone put that with the movie? He said something like that every one of the guys was lame and if he was ever caught with them to shoot him right then and there. I mean, they really didnt know what the hell they were doing. And the suits and ray bands...really contrived. Arent they supposed to be keeping a low profile? Well, that they obviously did not do. The "Stuck in the Middle with you" was a good scene. The music was really the only thing that made it good. I dunno.Highly overrated.
I have to do something. Im going crazy with this anger. I havent felt this shitty in a while. Its probably the change. I dont know, I just feel like bitching and carrying on and that in itself pisses me off and then I need to bitch some more. Fuck. Im mad. Im such an after thought. And its really true. To hell with it. To hell with it all. Its the same story all over again. My mom told me long ago we were cursed to be too caring and constantly walked over. Its nothing new and its no surprise. The truth is most people only pay attention to me when they want something. Sex, money, someone to complain to, etc. Or if they just happen to think of me one day and they have nothing better to do.
And honestly, if youre reading this and feeling bad or are mad because you dont think its true..then fucking do something about it. NO, dont leave a comment, because it never usually goes anywhere. You have my number. Ive just been waiting here for you to call.
Fuck, Im getting out of here before I break something.