(no subject)
i was just sittin here with all kinds of shit running through my head and what better place to talk about it than on the internet!
things just seem to be going wrong lately. although i am not directly involved with all of it, i am involved with the people its all happening to. i guess you dont really know somebody until you see their reaction when their backs against the wall. BULLSHIT
i dont think i can handle being around him too much longer.i lost him once before and i know i wont be able to do it again. so maybe this time if i am the one to walk away it wont make things so hard. who the fuck am i kidding!? its gonna be just as hard and prolly even worse b/c this time when he goes, it will be for a hell of a lot longer and i wont be able to see him ride through town or have him call me b/c he missed me. but than again i cant just stop being around him. he wouldnt understand and i wouldnt know how to explain it. and plus if he does leave, i dont want to think about how selfish i was. FUCK
on a lighter note, i am still losing weight. kinda got away from the diet that week at the beach but surprisingly i didnt gain anything! YAY!
its only monday and already i cant wait until friday! for the past 3 nights i have been on the constant go. lots of smoking. drinking. talking. chilling. THINKING. pondering. considering. wondering. wandering. and after all that i am here: tired, with an achy back and confusion. i dont know really if confusion would be right. i mean i know what went on, what WE dont understand is how could he do that?!!?!? FUCK SHIT DAMN BITCH
im out ... im just mad now