(no subject)
no, i want to say more. this is the only place i can talk about it so why not. i want to kill myself. how the fuck could he not fucking bring himself to just fucking love me? or at least fucking stay the fuck away from her in my own goddam house. i fucking asked that he stay out of her room but he's there crouched at her feet by her computer
THAT IS WHAT I WANT. I WANT HIM. I AM THE ONE WHO HAS SPENT THE LAST SIX MONTHS WANTING HIM. I AM THE ONE WHO CAN BARELY KEEP FROM KISSING HIM BASICALLY EVERY MOMENT THAT I LOOK AT HIM. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH A WORLD WHERE I COULD FEEL THIS STRONGLY AND IT JUST FUCKING MEANS NOTHING.
Why does she get him!?!?! I want him so bad!!!!!!!
i want to die i want to die i don't feel like reaching out for help because there's nothing anyone can give me and i don't want to drink because then i probably will just kill myself.
i want to be dead i want to be dead i just want to go lie in the rain and i don't want anyone to see me and i want to hurt. i want to hurt... but i am so fucking tired of cutting myself and it's too late to starve myself and i can't throw anything else up.
why is it that when my heart is broken i just want to hurt more!?!!?
And what can i do to hurt more!? I want to hurt!!!
Maybe i could burn myself? Do people do that?
THAT IS WHAT I WANT. I WANT HIM. I AM THE ONE WHO HAS SPENT THE LAST SIX MONTHS WANTING HIM. I AM THE ONE WHO CAN BARELY KEEP FROM KISSING HIM BASICALLY EVERY MOMENT THAT I LOOK AT HIM. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH A WORLD WHERE I COULD FEEL THIS STRONGLY AND IT JUST FUCKING MEANS NOTHING.
Why does she get him!?!?! I want him so bad!!!!!!!
i want to die i want to die i don't feel like reaching out for help because there's nothing anyone can give me and i don't want to drink because then i probably will just kill myself.
i want to be dead i want to be dead i just want to go lie in the rain and i don't want anyone to see me and i want to hurt. i want to hurt... but i am so fucking tired of cutting myself and it's too late to starve myself and i can't throw anything else up.
why is it that when my heart is broken i just want to hurt more!?!!?
And what can i do to hurt more!? I want to hurt!!!
Maybe i could burn myself? Do people do that?