Cat lady...
Irked, irritated, annoyed, pissed... How many more ways can I say that I can't stand this! Because I can't stand it! And what is there that I'm not being able to stand? Well it's everything! The future just seems like a giant black hole, and I'm going to get sucked right in it, and be just a somebody, and die an old lonely lady.
I suppose the above is not necessarily a bad thing, it's just not 'my thing,' at least I don't think? Who the hell knows!? Here I am, loaning money from the government slowly getting farther and farther into debt and not knowing what I'm loaning this money for. Yes yes, you need your basics. But I also need more of a basic life plan!
I like art..., I hate art.
I like writing..., but am never inspired when I need to be
And I don't like anything else enough to live my life doing it!
I used to think (well probably just last week) that I could spend the rest of my going to school just because I enjoy learning new things. Well... fuck... that's what Google is for.
I like warm weather..., but not hot and sticky
I like shopping..., but rarely have money
I like napping..., and want to spend every passing hour doing it
I like the internet..., and waste too much time on it.
I like(love!) my cat..., and because of this I will spend the next 3 or so years of my life living at home with my berating father, and nit-picky mother. Not that I don't love them, because I do. It's just always those little things, where you just wouldn't want to LIVE with them. Because I'm not ten, and I don't need to be looked after (though the condition of my room says otherwise).
I dearly, DEARLY wish to move away. I.just.can't.
This is something I think about every time I want to move away:
Here is this dear friend of mine. He's like my brother, my own child, or best friend, and he has cancer you see. Or maybe something else? But he only has a few years left to live. And I can't stand the fact that I won't ever be able to hug him, or cuddle with him, or bitch at him, or even just simply see his cute little gray head pop up from the sheets on my bed every time I come home. This is ridiculous isn't it? Because I, myself think so. But he's been in the family since I was six. One of my good friends told it to me straight one day. She said simply,
" THIS IS NOT NORMAL." Probably even in capitals since it was via AIM. But nonetheless I heard her loud and clear. It was nothing new though. I lived with this obsession every damn day since I was child.
So what is a 19 year old, cat obsessed, lonely, clueless, irritated girl to do?
I have yet to find this answer. Maybe in 3+ years time...
I suppose the above is not necessarily a bad thing, it's just not 'my thing,' at least I don't think? Who the hell knows!? Here I am, loaning money from the government slowly getting farther and farther into debt and not knowing what I'm loaning this money for. Yes yes, you need your basics. But I also need more of a basic life plan!
I like art..., I hate art.
I like writing..., but am never inspired when I need to be
And I don't like anything else enough to live my life doing it!
I used to think (well probably just last week) that I could spend the rest of my going to school just because I enjoy learning new things. Well... fuck... that's what Google is for.
I like warm weather..., but not hot and sticky
I like shopping..., but rarely have money
I like napping..., and want to spend every passing hour doing it
I like the internet..., and waste too much time on it.
I like(love!) my cat..., and because of this I will spend the next 3 or so years of my life living at home with my berating father, and nit-picky mother. Not that I don't love them, because I do. It's just always those little things, where you just wouldn't want to LIVE with them. Because I'm not ten, and I don't need to be looked after (though the condition of my room says otherwise).
I dearly, DEARLY wish to move away. I.just.can't.
This is something I think about every time I want to move away:
Here is this dear friend of mine. He's like my brother, my own child, or best friend, and he has cancer you see. Or maybe something else? But he only has a few years left to live. And I can't stand the fact that I won't ever be able to hug him, or cuddle with him, or bitch at him, or even just simply see his cute little gray head pop up from the sheets on my bed every time I come home. This is ridiculous isn't it? Because I, myself think so. But he's been in the family since I was six. One of my good friends told it to me straight one day. She said simply,
" THIS IS NOT NORMAL." Probably even in capitals since it was via AIM. But nonetheless I heard her loud and clear. It was nothing new though. I lived with this obsession every damn day since I was child.
So what is a 19 year old, cat obsessed, lonely, clueless, irritated girl to do?
I have yet to find this answer. Maybe in 3+ years time...