Fanfic: “Till You Make It” by lightgetsin . [Alwaysagirl!Dresden/Marcone] . N8
“Till You Make It” by lightgetsin
So I’m writing my dissertation about how all slash is really an exploration of female sexuality and genderswap is sort of the last step in that process, in the sense that you take a character everybody loves, a guy who can be a hero, and then re-position him into a female body and sometimes even a feminine gender and you explore all your issues. All those things you can never talk about happening to a female character because of how very close they are, and you give them to this guy, who is safe because he is a guy and guys can do no wrong, right? Furthermore, nobody judges guys’ entire lives for how good they are at relationships (they get judged for other shit, obviously, but this is an exploration of female issues, don't get distracted!) so their relationships can be (mostly) about them and this other person they love and want to spend time with or maybe are really hot for. And this fic, girls, this fic goes all the fucking way, it’s daring and brave and smart and I loved it to bits. I don’t even like het. But of course genderswap is not really het, is it now? Except Ms Harry Dresden, name unchanged and all, is very clearly a woman in more than body but she is also Harry, who refuses to be owned to the point of absurd and thinks experimenting with things that might explode is reasonable behaviour. The real question is, can she exist without him existing first? And at some point I would like to be able to say: sure. But right now I’ll have to make do with genderfuck.
19.02.13
[Spoiler and quotes]
we can never truly understand something until we figure out how to explain it to ourselves
It’s not like I set out to be deceptive. I just . . .
I used to think that couples told each other everything. Well, I mean, I
was a P.I., so I knew they didn’t. But I always figured if you were
doing it right, if you had the real deal, you wouldn’t want to keep
secrets. I was horrified the first time Michael casually mentioned some
bit of harmless domestic subterfuge. I couldn’t believe he’d do that.
I used to be wrong about a lot of things. Turns out sometimes it’s okay
to keep a secret even though you’re, y’know. Inarelationship.
Turns out there are times you need to keep a secret, and it’s not because
you’re doing something wrong. It’s just because its yours.
This stuff, the orgasms, it was new and pretty amazing, and also a little
scary. And I wanted it to be only mine for a while. Not forever. Just
for a little bit.
* "It’s not like I question your right to associate with whomever you please," John said.
Yeah. When I get mad, I get loud; when John gets mad, he gets grammatical.
* It was just so deliberate. So -- yeah -- so goal-oriented. Not the way I
usually approached sex. I liked it a lot better when it was more like
'oops, I tripped and my pants slid off and then I fell on top of you.'
John wasn't playing it that way anymore. There was no way what we were doing
could be called an 'oops' or 'just messing around.' But that just
figured, because that was the problem with John all along. He didn't
oops and he didn't mess around. And neither could I, not when I was with
him. Because he was him and I was me, and there simply wasn't a big
enough oops in the world to account for that. I -- we -- had to choose
this again and again. On purpose and everything.
dresden files fic: dresden/marcone, 2013, 2013: dresden files fic, fanfiction,*fanfic-novelette-2013, fanfic-2013, @read in english, other fic: recs, [quotes] fanfiction